Blubbergasted, APM and Kaliati

Freedom of speech is one of the fundamental rights anyone should enjoy. And freedom of association too is one of those major rights everyone should have.
Not long ago, some fellas in some camp made the highest noise in terms of who should say this, do this or not. They were called the best propaganda machinery that the late Bingu wa Mutharika could ever master.
There was my name sake Patricia Kaliati, who I remember for tearing apart resort and tourist spot owners for those below par blankets in their hospitality joints. I still remember how she told off some whites at Doogles (sp) in Blantyre who had high rates for the hospitality offered but with the far from hospitality or tourism standards.Masinga HA  HA HA
And Madam Kaliati did have a field day across the country, tossing those ragged blankets about and spitting fire for what she is well known for.
That lady has all the gusto!
And fast forward today, after a two-year long break, reappears my namesake with her loud mouth. This time, to fight a war that should not even be there.
She is bothered that former president, Joyce Banda is in the US, where, as it happens,APM happens to be also attending some great UN meet, in what some boot-lick journalist has reported as ‘ADDRESSING THE UN IN REHABILITATED UN HALL’ or something of that sort.
So much for looser headlines.
But the point here is that JB, just as APM, and indeed any other Jim and Jack from Malawi having sufficed those Visa hussles required for US entry, can travel peacefully to the land of the eagle.
And Kaliati fumes at that. She thinks JB has no right, whatsoever, to be in the US at this moment when APM is in Obamaland. And my geography still serves me right. The last time I checked the US still had these forty-something states making the great nation.
I wonder in which corner of the US JB will be, for if it is DC, then she needs to wise up, apply some breaks, and let APM breath all he can in that state before she can attempt her troubled steps into Washington.
That is according to the gospel by PK, my namesake.
And what is more, she says all the women that fared badly in the last tripartite elections owe it all to JB’s poor fairing at the helm of the land of fire (Malawi). She says, nostrils up, that JB is the soul reason Malawians will never trust women with leadership positions. In the next breath, she will be claiming she is a ‘leader’ only because APM appointed her minister.
Did she win her parliamentary seat? Of course yes. And so did so many other women folk. And that troubles the question of JB indeed is the devil-incarnate to the poor show by women aspirants.
Some loudmouths will just speak to please their bosses. But as the grapevine has it, it is doubtful APM would be smiling to such chicken-brain logic.
On second thought, APM might have complained and sent the gender minister to do his little dirty job, after just a few days back he himself burned his lips bad-mouthing fellow men of the wig as ‘village-folks’.
So yes, you can never be sure where Kaliati is taking all this crap from. APM must have said, ‘…hey lady of the crazed utterances, please do me a favor. Shout that JB woman off my international glory for me!’
And PK frothed at the mouth and went for the kill. Unfortunately, she has ended up killing the little of her weenie left image. Question is, has PK ever had any reputation at all?
But wait a minute, if JB and indeed any other Malawian misbehaves, then our leaders have all the right to caution them. But should one day I find my chance to ravel to where my namesake PK is gone to discuss gender the way she understands it, then God forbid anyone talking against my freedoms to travel and association.

And this came from a gender minister herself, zoona azimayi timavutana tokhatokha!

Round two, APM and his ‘same village folk’ tantrums. Well, he too has the right to use his mind and brain and mouth as he pleases. But I thought lawyers are often the first to advise people, yes their clients, against uttering words that might b used to hook and nail them in some disputes?
Not APM, the American labored lawyer. One touted by his late brother and political party as the best law ensign Malawi can ever have.
Yes, that legal mind, coupled with some misplaced mispronunciations, also tried to do his little dirty job. He took a jab at the fellows of the wig – for me its for no apparent reason. For all I know, this man was in the forefront of breaking his elder brother’s dead ribs when desperate to circumvent the very laws he says he knows much of.
APM, without shame and without thinking of any legal repercussions, being a smart lawyer he claims to be, ordered that his dead brother’s body be kept and later flown away as he, in his party’s own words, tried at ‘understanding what the law says about dead presidents and their VPs’.
A clean cut lawyer, who went all the way to let his own brother’s dead body, start to rot as he jumped from one crazy meeting to another, begging the ex-defense force chief General Henry Odillo and the heads at the judiciary to find ways to ensure that JB saw no place at the presidency.
Yes, a lawyer of his caliber, who is now busy without any shame, creating little innuendo ends to crook people into believing it was his life, instead, that was in danger!
And APM, for all I know, has one bent tongue that he is not kitted for slur and you know else. I would ask the likes of PK, the gang of advisers, his cabinet and Ben Phiri and all those booties around him to do Malawi some justice.
Ask APM to shut up or remain as sober as he did during the campaign trail to the presidency.
But as they say, power corrupts, and corrupts heavily. APM is lost in his own so-much-sought for power.

Flabbergasted!

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31 thoughts on “Blubbergasted, APM and Kaliati”

  1. jemba jemba kapachika says:

    mpake adzivula pagulu kuyankhula zopanda nzeru kuyenda ka ulere ngati ulibe ndalama nzako leka nzako adziyenda galu m kazi opanda mulanga non kuumbala pati-kali

  2. jemba jemba kapachika says:

    Lhomwe government best for lhomwe yankhulani ndi nthawi yanu mulungu akuona koma nonse p;a n-ini pa-n-u

  3. Aferazao says:

    Very big head and very wide face, but with a brain as small as a grain of sugar.

  4. Optic Computer says:

    I believe Americans with stereotypes will rate Malawians lowly if Kaliati is the best minister the country can offer…Is this the merit that APM claims?

  5. beaman says:

    PK is another wild crazy person – i feel sorry for her. Just do yr job, the job you are paid for and let our citizens travel freely just like u.

  6. Willie says:

    Thats Dpp’sh Kind Of Thinking,,,some Ignorance Is Too Much,guys.

  7. Mbobulee says:

    People can jot!!!! what a nice pieces of advice to the stinking mind!!!

  8. ZANgendaba says:

    article too long and poorly articulated, masinga write as ajournalist,..are you one?

    1. kupepela says:

      stop hating!!!

  9. nswati says:

    shortly we will see the downfall of rhomwe government !!!!!! mukuona ngati mwafikapo ? kunali anzanu ankatelo ndi dziko ili

  10. Brian ziba says:

    This is a gvt of Mhlako pple

  11. Chisaù says:

    Malawi is not a democratic government but a Tribalistic government simply governmen of the Lomwe 4 the Lomwe by the Lomwe.

  12. timothy says:

    Kuthedwa nzeru kumeneko munthu analuza mmalo mopuma ndi kulapa machimo ake akuonjezeranso . Akufuna kusokoneza koma adziwe kuti BOMA ndi BOMA basi olo atani angodzivuta. Mo FIRE Anduna timakunyadirani.

  13. Nyani Akuziphayekha says:

    Kaliati is a true African. She knows Joyce Hilda Ntila doesn’t believe she is out of State House. You see, the Squillers of this world (Msonda and gang) made Hilda believe she was the best ‘happening’ to have graced Mother Earth since creation. That way Squiller and gang stayed well watered by Hilda’s cash taps. Elections come and the day dreamer trails at a distant third. What next, voodoo pops in. For the first time in the history of Malawi we hear a departed president has forgotten personal belongings at State House. Very smelly this, considering the Satanism breeze that swept across the country involving ‘azungu aatiiii’. Silly trick didn’t work. Not wanting to appear fake, sing’anga advises Hilda to try and come close to Mutharika for the voodoo staff to strike. That is why we see all this ‘I go this way you follow me, I go that way you follow me’ circus. Mwachepa simungakwanitse. The bloody smart jujuman knows quite well there is nothing like what poor Hilda is hoping to get. Even a mad person does not leave personal effects behind when moving house. Those in the know, know what I’m on about, the rest of you are defending mother hen out of sheer daftness. Anyway, hopelessness is madness, so go get him or die trying! But this you must know : we are in a highly dynamic and progressive world which has no room for bad losers, failures, cry- babies and disgruntled sympathy seekers.

  14. Mkanda Wofiira says:

    Pat (this Pat not the bleached jaribo infested one) you have made my week.
    Keep on entertaining us in this style. AUZE Pat!!!

  15. karonga says:

    I really understand the writer, this government is full of Rotten potatoes that’s why things will never get better in this country if we are still in the DPP regime. If you flash back your mind this so-called [DPP] they got leadership in a dramatic way by stabbing Bakili muluzi from the back, for me I know for sure that with DPP government we’ll never go forward.

  16. Bandasiime says:

    Indeed, chicken-brains if not grasshopper-brains!! Flabbergasting PK. Not a ministerial material at all. Should have been left teaching kids at Chonde Primary School!!!!!!!!!!

  17. Shimwitwa says:

    Well spoken Pat!

  18. John says:

    Now wait a sec. Its really unfortunate that Malawi does not have smart and creative stand up comedians like South Africa or the rest of the world. This gvt could have provided them with enough content daily for their shows. The likes of South AfricanTrevor Noah would kill to have funny content that our gvt provides. So ridiculous, it hurts to even laugh. And our president is said to be a lawyer. Phew…leme go pee. Yhoo!

  19. Desire says:

    Is this a government or a Lomwe dramma group?

  20. Peter Nthalika says:

    Patricia! Amakowo analuza Ali pampando ndipo its true pipo lost trust in women leadership coz of her stupidity!

  21. Alungwana says:

    Lawyer by papers. A theoretical lawyer who never practices. A bad brother to Daniel Phiri.

  22. Wokhudzidwla says:

    I really like this article. Go on Patricia. Such constructive critique is what is lacking in Malawi.

  23. Thoko says:

    Really enjoyed this piece

  24. North Pride says:

    Pat, you always make my day! Tiye nawo a nguru wa, akuyesa iwo wokha ndiye amatha kuyankhula!

  25. KUKHALA says:

    CHIMDALA CHI APM BOZA LOKHA

  26. Mamamia says:

    Koma Ntata wasowatu pa Nyasatimes. Phd yavuta mwina.

  27. Danny says:

    Zowona mayiwanga,auzeni zoona a maliwongo amenewa oganiza ngati nkhuku za chitopa zakwa nkando

  28. chiduma says:

    Yespls school your namesake and her foul-mouthed president

  29. ujeni says:

    Malawi surely is a laughing stock. Our currently leadership is so incompetent such that they are floating from a pedulumn left to right not knowing how and when to stop the swing. Clueless leadership

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