May the Gay perverts tear each other apart!

Our rich cultural heritage endured a massive knock when some Malawians decided to get out of the closet to announce the formation of a Gay Movement Grouping that has been meeting in Blantyre for the past six years.  

The masters of corrosive anal invasion decided to declare their intent to force fellow Malawians to dine on acts of invasive sexual trauma.  Yuk!  

While we cannot confirm the eccentric claims made by McLeod, the Leader of the Movement, that there are well over 89,000 gay persons in Malawi, it is a foregone conclusion that there are indeed some Malawians who in their sober state enjoy brutally rimming and tearing each other’s rectoral orifices assander with their super "Big Willies".  

Please recall that McLeod did not proffer his surname and it would be fair to speculate that he is operating under an alias knowing that his queer sexual orientation is alien to our culture that is largely grounded in a widely accepted decency and a strong belief in good health.    

This culture has many origins but in many cases, it is associated with intellectually and morally challenged DPP goons like "the hottest tongue and Blow Jobber in town", Chiku Mtumodzi, the terrorist bisexual, Rikki Kimani Shayo and the self certified transgender surgeon, Chernobyl Ntaba.  

By the way, Dausi tried it once in a toilet with an MYP recruit while at Amarika Training Base, but vowed never to do it again after a horrible infestation of loin lice ensued and ultimately invaded his chest hairs.  

That is possibly, why even the leader of the movement is still getting his rear torn apart in a closet for he knows how disgusting that kind of moral turpitude is. Did I hear male groans of pain mixed with pleasure? Alternatively, did I miss the sonorous chorus of wails of a lesbian in ecstasy?  

This is the beginning of the demise of the once great nation called Malawi.  I can see Sodom and Gomorrah in the making!  

This movement has been around for a long time in truth and some members of the business community in Malawi promote it, and some lecturers too at the University Colleges of Malawi have been involved in bisexuality incognito.  

That this is accurate is exhibited by the actions of one female Lecturer, Jessie, in particular who left a squalid legend in Canada, where she dominated the gay community with her gripping and cameo displays of cunnilingus [Kudya Mango Kapena Gulugufe] and fellatio [Kuyamwa Nthochi] since she is bisexual.  

This brilliant lady from Mulanje is renowned for her long-lasting sexual solos that have made her so popular amongst her kind, so that every time a Malawian strays to the University she attended in Canada he or she is hounded by gay admirers of this woman.  

Jessie only just embarked on what was a largely shocking sexual odyssey, at Chancellor College. And in keeping with the times, the trickles spiraled around campus; that she was of strange sexual orientation; by that time she was already able to ensnare her quarry, with remarkable skill, to the extent that both males and females were so attracted to her hairy body and the head spinning and adrenaline pumping sexual prowess.  

McLeod’s Press Release through which he meant to deliver a statement of intent that him and his friends were fit for purpose public displays of homosexuality was a sham.  Instead, the Gay Movement Leader just gave us a montage of his own cowardice and immorality by refusing to reveal his surname.  

Certainly there is nothing like accommodation for our communities to happily embrace people that have chosen to equal themselves to dogs. We mourn such unnecessary loses of morality and humanity. This is not the best bet for sanity- anyway. Neither is it the all things to all men impersonation of morality, which seems to soar over many heads in our culture.  

Finally, as if to outdo their male counterparts, the lesbian movement in the same sexual stroke, decided to tell the nation, Mutharika inclusive, that they will advocate the use of condoms. Of course, this also caused a lot of bafflement because we know better that lesbians are famous for their love for inserting inhuman objects into their beautifully guarded caverns.