Dzuka Malawi: Jappie Mhango, the most intelligent northerner today?

Dear Northern Region, please elect Jappie Mhango, the Minister of Transport as your official spokesperson and negotiator pronto, he is the most intelligent Northerner I have come across.

The highest ranking politician in corridors of power was Khumbo Kachali, had Joyce Banda kicked the bucket (God forbid), Khumbo that duntu from Edingeni who spoke like spoilt child could have become our President. Yes according to the constitution of the Republic. Thanks heaven it did not happen.

Then second was Chakufwa Chihana, yes that “wabefu” confessor, twice not once, became the only Malawian to hold the position of the Second Vice President, specifically created for him and reserved for other party in Government. We know what happened to the end- he spoke inaudible voices, praise singing president Bakili Muluzi, selling out our democracy for third term coins and died a very miserable man from the freedom fighter we all sang of in 1992.

Back to modern day politicians from the North. No back to back first. Orton Chirwa was betrayed by fellow Tongas and a Tumbuka. Aleke Banda was a powerful politician when Manoah Chirwa was arrested- everyone from Kande to Chintheche blamed him for the misery of fellow Tonga’s.

Kanyama Chiume was the composer of “zonse zimene nza Kamuzu Banda” before Ngwazi the original booted him out into misery in Tanzania.

An academic Khwauli Msiska was the one that moved the third term in Parliament on July 4, 2002 again for a few pieces of silver and deputy Minister post. That’s how much democracy the North has contributed to Malawi.

Harry Mkandawire has been there, UDF, DPP and now Peoples Party. Together with Reverend Christopher Mzomera Ngwira, Catherine Gotani Hara and Frank Mwenefumbo they fought tooth an nail Khumbo Kachali in Peoples Party. They are very good Northerners at pulling each other down.

In the North, either you are eating with them or you become the loudest crier of them all. Look at Frank Mwenefumbo, asking what is wrong with being a Northerner- no sir, nothing is wrong with being a Northerner, actually we have married and inter-married that its no longer normal to find a family whose members don’t come from all the regions. Its useless to talk of Northerners anymore. Lets talk and think like Malawians.

The problem is politicians based in the North. They only cry louder, fight and beat each other when they are not the ones eating at that particular moment. Northerners rarely support or listen to each other. The story of politicians betraying the region are plenty, the story of greed and praise singing by Northerners is well documented from Inkosi Mbelwa who crowned Kamuzu the Ngwazi to the other Mbelwa who gave Bingu the same accolade yet the road to his village remains undone. Stupid.

The loudest analysts on social media or Lazarous Chakwera backers are Northerners- interestingly very few cannot even join a proper party and choose to disparage others online. Hey wenna, come down and run for councillor or parliament of presidency if you want change like Chihana.

Out of the 53 registered parties-if the number has not grown up, almost half are chaired or headed by Northerners. Actually its like every constituency has its own political party and you want to convince me to vote for you? No in a hundred years!

Off my head if they cant agree and unite in the North, how do they convince me to vote for their own chaos!

That’s why in keeping with tradition of Northern Region, Jappie Mhango, my cartoon of the month is very right. He is intelligent and strategic and might have read the political history of the North, boot licking and praise singing and betraying your own works. Don’t  listen to criers crying for positions pretending they love the region more.

After all, real businessman knows that only reality matters in business. In political business- the reality is eat and eat, praise and praise and forget about some Chinese presidency the North will never had.

Dzuka Malawi, before stoning me- tell me if you believe Kamlepo Kalua or Frank Mwenefumbo or Harry Mkandawire would turn down Ministerial position from DPP if appointed in the interest of developing the North! Be a fool and believe them, I endorse Jappie Mhango as rightful heir of Chakufwa Chihanas empty seat-it has been vacant for long.

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34 thoughts on “Dzuka Malawi: Jappie Mhango, the most intelligent northerner today?”

  1. Fact says:

    Iam pure Tumbuka,Northerner,Malawian,African and aboveall,a Human Being.I strongly feel pity for my fellow Northerners who have fallen prey to Kamlepo’s and Jappie’s untruthfullness,both these people are uneducated and die-hard opportunists and their livelihood entirely relies on lies and pretences,they are not the people to rely upon and expect that they will liberate the North from its predicaments for instance,Kamlepo’s Constituency,is lagging behind all national Constituences in the counrty and when you gauge Jappie’s performance in his own Constituency,he is the most unpopular and incredibly disliked by even his own members of his family and to have these two crooked and semi-educated liars in the highest house in the land,is a mockery of democracy and development.With such poor education,how do we expect to achieve real development for the North and indeed,in the entire country.Kamlepo was living in South Africa and working as a waiter for the boers in one of the Hotels in J’bork and after the coming of multiparty,as an avowed opportunist,he jumped on it,mind you,he was not living in exile as he claims,he went to the racist South Africa for green pastures because with his poor education,he could not land on job at home.Malawians,wakeup!!!!!!!

  2. winston msowoya says:

    Whether somebody likes it or not,Jappie Mhango is the most simpleton Northerner I have come across in morden days.I have seen simpletons,but Jappie has amazed me.Has he so soon forgotten the names: Kanyama Chiume,Orton Chirwa,Yatuta Chisiza,Dunduzu Chisiza,Rose Chiwambo,Matupi Mkandawire,Mundo Mwabetanya,Lutengano Mwahimba,John Nyondo the list is long.Jappie does not no that the Chawas,Lomwes and the likes,are using him to their advantage,as soon as his services with these brutes come to an end,that would be his end too.Let him be reminded that the names juxtaposed,others brought independence for Nyasaland while the majority of people in the South and Central Malawi,were still in their slumber,but now they have forgotten who saved them.Not only that,the Northerners brought the awareness of the multiparty struggle,under the brave and wise leadership of Chakufwa Thom Chihana while our brothers in Central and Southern Malawi were busy dancing GULE WA NKULU and HUNTING FOR MBEWA.Right now,you have been in power for 52 years,but melancholy, you have undisputedly,destroyed our beloved mother Malawi economically and politically through unprecedented corruption.In recent International corruption Index,Malawi is the most corrupt nation on the planet and also the poorest in Africa.Brothers and Sisters,you have to admit that you have COMPLETELY FAILED to run the country.SHAME ON YOU AND YOUR TRIBALISM WOULD NOT TAKE YOU ANYWHERE YOU MORONS!!!!!!!

  3. sukulu says:

    Absolute nosense. Please go back to school. It’s a shame!

  4. koma abale inu eeh says:

    Not a deep dive analysis of Northern politics, by any means; but accurate, and very interesting, nevertheless. Younger Northerners should learn from this.
    It should be pointed out, however, that this political posturing and behavior is NOT confined to Northern political elites. It is all over the country.
    But what makes the Northern politicians different is that they claim superiority, as a people; but exhibit inferiority complexes all the time. Like claiming tribal victim hood where there is none.
    Northern politicians, and by extension their people, always take credit for good things, like achievements. But blame others when things don’t turn out well. Yet the outcomes are from their own actions. Blatant hypocrisy.
    Bite me.

  5. Chalume says:

    My gut seems to stomach one truth: this writer bears less grey matter than I thought! Be a little more constructive than (1) perpetuating hate language; (2) contradicting yourself by pointing at people from the North while declaring that we are all Malawians; (3) Using messages of error of a few, disregarding the many accomplishments people from all over Malawi have made in our political history, including Northerners; (4) parading yourself as a master of history when the best you did was selectively choose isolated incidents; and (5) failing to balance your argument by demonstrating that the clowns we have elected to office since 1994 have done proper.

    I thought I would encourage you to go back to study your History. But I will say this to you, “Go to school” altogether.

  6. Satyagraha Reichstag says:

    Malawians wake up. Tribal war cannot solve our problems. Forget this article, your region and your religious background. It is empty and useless. When dealing with humanity, let us focus on the positive side of others and not negative. Bwinotubwino muzabweretsa genocide mmalo mwa chitukuko. Ine ndakana kusapota zogawanitsa mtundu wochepa kale wa Amalawi. I am proud to be a Malawian. Ziphunzitseni kumanga Dziko lanu. Zitithandiza chiyani kunyoza abale athu, abwezi athu, atsogoleri athu ndi alaliki athu ndi mafumu athu. Izi ndi zomwe zikudanitsa anthu mumaofesi, mmiseu ndi kumunda komwe.

  7. thinktank says:

    Atumbuka… call this useless article? All the calls for rotational presidency…or federation is about positions not development of the north.Come on,dont be stupid,this is good article worthy arousing soul searching with sober minds…..mukuti useless article because it has pointed out the role short comings of people you historically hold so dearly…..

  8. Steve says:

    I wish I had used my time to read other things instead I wasted my precious time reading this useless, unethical, unrealistic, nonsense article. My friend you have all your facts wrong

  9. stan says:

    these aren’t facts,their just your opinions ,the only fact in this story is that we haven’t seen any strong politician from that side since the earth

  10. Harawara says:

    In my mighty language we say “wamsokosera walinga utava”. History does not have to be necessarily positive and sweet. It often hates like in this case when we were reminded that northerners have been out smarting each other from colonial to present times. Now it is just repeating itself because that’s history does. it goes in a circle. Now it is Jappie vs others.

    For those of you who are not happy with what your accessetors did and say learn from their failures and do things right. Dont harm the messenger or hack his account!!!!

  11. Fisoe says:

    No substance in the article. useless with lots of untruth e.g. ‘out of all political parties in Malawi half are led by Northerners???” in media, once you commit just one untruth everything else is taken to be untrue.

  12. Chayankhu says:

    I do salute whoever wrote this story except for few ideas of praising Jappie – he’ s useless as well. .

  13. Kanthu nkhavumbo says:

    Mtumbuka will be on the driving seat for ever be it on Government , private , non governmental or Government NGOs Even in Government companies whether you like it or not because Tumbukas take education as our culture , You can stay with your presidency but come to heading institutions it is Northerners

  14. jamie says:

    wasted my time reading this useless article, will never waste my time again reading dzuka Malawi. I vote for somebody based on merit like manifesto and patriotism not tribalism or regionalism. This country will remain poor with this mindset and useless articles like gonani a Malawi, instead of promoting good governance and development we choose to vote just for the sake of tribe and region. This article is just a reflection that we have a lot of people still in stone age not yet civilized including the dumb author.

  15. Mphondo Zagadabuka says:


  16. Independent Diplomat says:

    My fellow Tumbukas. These are brutal fact. Let’s contemplate with a sober mind.

  17. Wanzeru wa kumpoto says:

    Out of all the Mayorial elections its only Blantyre which has removed a lawyer, very progressive man, ndikuyikapo Mbuzi, ndiye with this kind of thinking Mbuzi ndi ndani? Yankhani anthu aku South including Mbuzi Rudo. We can count how many Mbuzis we have from the South who are pulling this country down. Tiyambe ndi Mbuzi yayikulu kwambili Peter, a very useless Professor with no clue in this world, seconded by Mbuzi Chaponda ntchito kumetela ma lezala basi ndikuba ndalama zaboma kuti ayendesele chipani, Mbuzi Bakili Muluzi ndi Atupele Muluzi – these guys onse matelala koma ati nawonson amatha kuyendesa boma, Mbuzi yina ndi Mulumbe who has just been sent on forced leave. Mbuzi zakumwela zomwe zakhala zikulamula since 1994 ndizomwe zapangisa kuti dziko likhale pompaja pomwe munalipezela in 1994. No wonder mumasankha kugwila ntchito ndi anthu omwe kumpoto timawatenga kuti ndi Mbuzi zokhazokha ngati Jappie, Obama Chiumia ndi anzake chifukwa Mbuzi zimakhala bwino ndi Mbuzi zinzake. You make sick people from the south and it looks like God created you with no brains.


    Author, my good author! What is it that you’re on about? Seems like you are making a feeble attempt to pick a fight with Northerners for no reason. Is that it?
    Mhango has previously declared that no Northerner will ever become president; surely, that cannot be intelligent.
    Well, author, the country has more pressing issues to write about. Let me suggest that in your next article, write about how MPICO (OML) & NBS Bank (NICO) have swindled their minority shareholders through their “rights issue”.
    I seriously doubt you knew this. At any rate, what MPICO & NBS have done will almost certainly KILL the Malawi Stock Exchange. Keep watching!

  19. M'PHOKA ORIGINAL says:

    Mmmmmmmm! what???????? Rudo with your Dzuka Malawi, If he has given you something please just eat and keep quiet. Jappie Mhango with his brothers certificate is the one who has spoiled the DPP political environment in the North. He has dismantled the Unity that was there by bringing mabodza and cheap politics strategies he was using in PP before settling for independent after losing in PP Primaries. He has turned into a Mafia hunting for other peoples lives physically and superstitiously. He can’t be a spokesperson nor negotiator. He is very crooked.
    Eti Hon Jappie, which secondary did you attend to acquire your certificate? Who was your head teacher? Kabwezeni Certificate but you will still maintain your Ministerial position.

  20. Charombanthu says:

    Conclusion: The writer has no clue about what he is writing about.

  21. santana says:

    Let us not use God in these silly discussions. Do you think the whole Almighty God can be used to choose a northerner for presidency? Zakukanikani mwayambano kutchula Mulungu. God can not help rude people. Just ask your Kamlepo and Francis Mkandawire to contest on the presidential ticket and all northerners should come out from their mud houses and overwhelmingly vote for these two dunderheads. Don’t waste time calling for God’s intervention on this. The writer is just being true with you tumbukas. You are too vocal but nothing in the talk. You are making useless groups posing as developmental groups yet the aim is to pull govt down. How can the whole group with wise people chose Kamlepo to lead them and be convinced they will achieve their goals? Rudo Tariro is just very open and true in his article but the problem is that the message is going to blind people who will never see the truth. Or they can see the truth but choose to look the other side. Shame on you.

  22. pitalamutharika says:

    the article is useless and the writer is stupid, if you are dpp supporter just eat what you are getting from your government thieves. the one who say atumbuka mu ma office ndinu nokha if lomwe , yawo and chewa are not working hard to school you think kuti atumbuka asiya kugwira ntchito muma office, ngati simukulimbikira ziwani kuti mudakakhala ma cleaners in this country and tumbukas will be in the office, look at quarter system most of the Tumbuka are surviving with their studies koma alomwe ambiri akulephera kumaliza school chifukwa anapita kumeneko ku university chifukwa akuti ndi alomwe pano sakukhozaso akulephera ask kamuzu analephera with quarter system atumbuka ambiri anaphunzira thawi ya kamuzuyo so who is lomwe tribe yomwe siimaziiwka ndi komwe stupid

  23. #TOTB# says:

    To the author of this article, you do not know what you are talking about, I conclude to say you are simply Jappie Mhango’s bootlicker. I agree northern politicians may be greedy, selfish and vetted into self enrichment motives, but its a matter of time before our cry as northerners gets a nod from the Almighty one!!

  24. Mwinithako says:

    Koma nde Mathumbuka athumbukadi ndi article iyi!!Thumbukaz are very stupid indeed.Good at power hungry.Crying for positions.Crying for Nepotistic ideology where ever they are.Being at colleges,at workplaces,elsewhere ,they try as much as possible to heave the place.They bring dogs from kukaya only to feature them for better positions which they actually fail.Mzuze zawaka pera akeee!!This analyst has really described them indeed.They are idiots”Thumbukaz”

  25. Wild Ndipo says:

    Lets leave everything to God. He will one day choose a president from the north, as he did with Barack Obama in the USA. Despising northerners like this article has done is unchristian and very uncivilised. The interesting thing is that the more the northerners are being despised, the more elevated they are becoming. Lets face it, northerners are doing well pa town pano! Alibe pulobulemu! good education, good jobs, good cars, real professionals! Ife yathu ndiyomweyi yoyitanira maminibus, kupemphetsa mu tawuni, ndikuberekana.

  26. Wild Ndipo says:

    just wasted my time reading this article. it is useless

  27. Mlaliki says:

    Akunena zoona koma. Wakumva wamva, whether you cry the loudest kikikiki!!!!!!!!!!

  28. Weluzani says:

    Ka njaniso aka ka Dzuka Malawi writer? Uzeleza pela basi.

  29. Mpoto says:

    Jappie ndi Mbuzi basi

  30. Chaponda says:

    Jappie Mhango as a bootlicker did great job of self-destruction. King makers like him including Grace Chiumia and others will have more pain in the latter days..

  31. Chaponda says:

    There is nothing Jappie Mhango has impacted on Malawians not even northerners. Nothing. All other great politicians you blame did great works of some sort before they made the mentioned mistakes. Jappie has NOTHING. He will just live miserable life after getting out of all what he enjoys now. His statements just brought him more anger and rejection than he thought. It was better to keep quiet and be respected. Vuwa was once a Minister of Information like Jappie but where is his name today with all those foolish talks? One day am saying one day a real leader shall rise from the north…..God is not man.

  32. hoza john says:

    Japie Mhango has no MSCE. He is using his brother;s certificated. Shame.

  33. kasaila says:


  34. hoza john says:

    No sense in the article. Look at the mayor elections. Shame you boot liker

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