THE DAY BINGU WILL DANCE ONE BIG BREAK DANCE

Every dog has its day- even the lowliest will sometimes come to fore, as in ‘they may not listen to me now but just wait’; every dog has its day. This English saying is used to talk about how every person has time in their life when they are successful and in good state.

This idiom must be lingering in the minds of Avram Grant and Bingu Mutharika.

Avram is a football Manager. He is in-charge of Chelsea football club an English premiership outfit.

Mutharika is the President of the republic of Malawi a landlocked African country.

To compare the two men makes little sense and can provoke suspicion from the public on the writers credibility but to compare the troubled waters the two have sailed through makes a dog wag its tail in appreciation.

However, to compile and appraise their achievements makes even the dullest boy in school look clever.

BORING.

The word boring features heavily on the lips of the two men’s critics. People blame Avram Grant for Chelsea’s lack of flawlessness in its style of football, they claim that it is not sexy and lacks flavour.

On the other hand, Bingu’s critics purport that he is a boring dictator whose speeches lack humour and he is also at the centre of frustrating the opposition. They say that he has a finger in every pie.

Inspite of all these deficits as per critics say it becomes very easy to match up one thing in the two men and that is their achievements.

To borrow an African expression ‘jealous Down’ they have both achieved.

This column will always give to Cesar what belongs to Cesar.

The boring Avram Grant is now in the UEFA champions league finals slated for May 21, in Moscow.

His club is level in points with Manchester United. A slip against Wigan in their next game can cost ManU the premiership tittle and a win by Avram Grants men will make them champions.

The tide has changed from a boring Grant to a winning Manager.

Every dog has its day.

For the first time in ten years Malawi fed itself and exported some maize.

The cities of the country look clean. Roads have been rehabilitated and many more developmental projects are coming up.

The Life President I beg your pardon the President sourced funding from China, the first of its kind in the living memory of Malawians, so he (Bingu) boasts.

Again, the boring Bingu at work.

The man, Bingu, has been given a headache by the opposition. This writer knows every nook and cranny of Malawian politics. If this man, Bingu were a weak personality at heart he could have sought asylum from Sekuru long time ago.

He has survived the rudest shake-ups of government- from impeachment to boycotts of parliament, from section 65 to the rejection of passing of the Budget and yet government continues with its programs to the extent that some soul gave an entire region to Bingu’s DPP- chitsulo cha Njanje bambo! as claimed by his fanatics, Mose wa lero as his idols call him.

He is facing yet another mêlée, the opposition want the speaker to heave his (Bingus) MPs out of parliament.

Every dog has its day, this expression is also used when a person has been unsuccessful or a failure at something for a long time and then suddenly prosper and overcome this previously negative situation.

May, 2009 is Malawi’s election period. Malawi’s parliament has got about 193 seats.

Assuming Bingu’s DPP uses every trick in the book and win half or better still 143 seats in Malawi’s parliament only this Chichewa saying will befit President Bingu Mutharika, "adzadya nsima nkulowa m’mimba".. (he will enjoy his food).

THE BIG DANCE

With the election victory oozing in his body and knowing fully that all his opponents will either be very old or too frustrated to continue with politics and Hence their parties will be going through a renaissance process, Bingu will have the last laugh.

A celebration Malawi has never seen will be held at the new State house.

Bingu will dance kwasakwasa, reggae,Tchopa, malipenga all in one big break dance.

The old statesman will throw his legs to the right in a reggae style and his hands to the left waving in the tchopa way while wriggling his waist provocatively in a kwasakwasa mood and bending his back in a malipenga jive.

Patricia Kaliati and company will be ululating while chanting Lyo! Lyo! Lyo! Lyo!...

Heatherwick Ntaba, Goodall Gondwe, Dama Phoya, Henry Mussa and the entire men in the DPP politiburo including the new MPs will be on the other side of the stage religiously following the great dance by their leader while clapping hands and shouting, Wa! Wa! Wa ! Wa! ARIDZIIII!!!!

Bingu inspired by the chants will go mad, thumbs up screaming , and ‘mundimva aphwanga chaka chake ndichino 2009 wina ageya mtima pamodzi ndi chifu’.

The word ruling with majority will be written all over his face.

We now ask Chiku Mtumodzi the presidential press officer, to kindly send invitation cards for the function to the Timau crew, we do not want to miss this grand day, the day Bingu will dance kwasakwasa, reggae, malipenga, tchopa all in one big break dance.

Every dog has its day!!

Sembegondwe@yahoo.co.uk