Firsts and the valley of varying outcomes

Who said silence is always golden? Why can.t it for once be diamond, or indeed cray, if you like?Masinga HA  HA HA

Lately I am seeing a variety of shades at the end of that old adage, especially that in today’s Malawi taboo and the way of life, modern or traditional, suave or damn local, does not mean much of a difference anyway.

Being a lady of curiousity, I have had an opportunity, or call it forced chance, to hear and learn more from both the so-called serious male and believed gossipy female counterparts.

The silence noise about firsts if something should happen. For instance the game women play against husbands, boyfriend, and sex starved bosses and neighbours.

‘Siupaona pokhapokha undipangile…’ could be a salon fund, a procurement of some stylish little Toyota Jazz, a fund to the womens day out, could be a promotion at work, or indeed just to prove important to the man with a growing protruding and ready problem in his pants.

Does that sound ‘la familia’, male colleagues? And men are known to do the silliest things when a woman of their conquest plays that game at the door of pleasure.

This happens even away from the male-female horizontal relations aboard.

Parents also use the ‘this first or nothing…’ demands against their children. Things like eat your porridge first or no kukunyamura for toddlers. Clean your room first or no pocket money. Pass your exams first or no bicycle for you, and indeed help me clean the house or no new underwear/ bra/ socks for you, etc.

Often the trick tends to work. With a few exceptions where the rowdy child or pot smocking teenager is the one calling the shots – give me K5000 for the weekend or I will shit in the relish pot… Eish, stuff happens.

And yet again, where the boss has the tide on his side and tells the she married or indeed ‘singular’ junior staff member, ‘its your leg or no promotion…’

Like I said earlier, again shit happens.

Thats reminds me of how Hon. (is he still honourable?) John Zenus Ungapake Tembo, he of the MCP and decades long leader of opposition in the House, missed the bus to State House for that other elective year.

Yes, though demanding for Section 65 first over passing of the budget at that time seemed the best the opposition could muster in parliament, guess the timing was so strategically lacking in many spheres.

To start with, then president late Bingu wa Mutharika had just recently scored a national point. Divorcing himself from the corrupt and savage politics of his mentor, on Bakili Muluzi of the UDF.

With his new political vehicle, the DPP, blue eyed Bingu played the victim in power. His struggle which seemed so honest in the eyes of many Malawians bought him so much sympathy.

For the first time in the history of Malawi, the loud civil society groups sided a government in power and abandoned the careless balling by Tembo led opposition. Malawians also en masse resonated with poor old limping Bingu.

They gave him a resounding win came the elections. Bingu wasny popular or a great enviable leader at all؛ the vote was a simple show of the electorate at that point putting it in black and white that you cannot play with peoples lives at the heck of Section 65, with such wreckless abandon health facilities had no medicines and teachers were not being paid for the better part.

But that was way before late Bingu discovered Malawians were headless chickens and that he, his brother APM were the best God sent to poor uneducated Malawian lot. Before he discovered Peter Mukhito was the best ever top cop in the republic since independence, and that name sake Patricia Kaliati reflected our views through her bossy rantings.


Soon the tables changed, and with July 21 tragedy, poof we lost our man to cardiac arrest. His very not providing adequate medication or quality health service delivery demands backfire on his very lifeline.

We know the rest.

So when opposition today says K92 billion audit report first, budget later, Malawians should not be fooled events of Section 65 first and budget later will bear same outcomes.

I am afraid that APM, despite his seeming humbleness though we can all clearly see big traits of his late brother’s adamancy freely ooze chocking our nostrils, the man will and cannot buffer this onslaught.

First, he doesn’t have a true majority support politically. He stole the vote, millions say, and he is a stranger in his own land. He cannot connect with the Malawian way of life, the majority poor peoples aspirations, and is a blind man being led his late brother’s failed political footpath.

Mistakes are his daily bread and rules by trial and error, thus if he rules at all. He mumbles to himself and expects the people to google that out for understanding.

The shortfalls far outweigh any milestones. MSB sale, crazy ministers provoking Malawians, siphoning of govt coffers, First Lady jittery with AIDS funds,

This K92bn first will work!

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“Siupaona” hahahahahaha tikaona pena yaaaaaa

George Lihoma.

Uli bwanji Patricia. Hahahahaha.


Well, that’s for sure.
I’m surprised that a good author like her has never written anything on how a post-federal Malawi will look like; or even a post-secession Nyika Republic.With TRIBALISM and NEPOTISM on the rise, there is no hope in our politics. Prof D Chirwa has ominously called the DPP-UDF alliance a “tribal pact”. You can candy-coat TRIBALISM/NEPOTISM, but hell, no, it’s a huge problem which could ultimately prove fatal to Malawi’s cause as a country.
Again, Siupaona?? Sounds like escort service language.

White Rabbit



I’m not convinced that the author is a female.Full of obsene vocabulary. I can’t imagine how her siblings can talk. Ali ndi apongozi?


Let’s sit back and see what works and what will work in 2019. MCP can rest be assured of having sunshine in the parliament till 2019 but that doesn’t translate into an automated votes. politics is dirty and rough go and ask Chihana and Mapopa chipeta

English Guru
I like the way you put it ‘he mumbles to himself and expects the people to google that out for understanding…’ may I add that he then puts tax on internet services so that no-one can afford to google his mumbling! We’ve never seen the most clueless leader in this country! A friend of mine voted for this mtchona and always tries to defend this leadership style of trial and error even in the face of so many cringe worthy blunders! I guess he is in denial and that exemplifies the feeling of most DPP supporters right now, and that… Read more »



I think I like the style this article took… I am really encouraged to look out for the next…


We are talking about 577 billion pano bwana. Don’t even compare sec 65 with this. Malawians would like to know what happened to their money. Opposition this time is really doing a good job.

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