Hail DPP govt, full of fluff… Welcome to ‘War and Peace’

It seems, by and large, the Democratic Progressive Party (DPP) has finally started getting everything wrong. Which, of course, is not surprising. Except for some wise talk here and there on his commitment towards making our civil service tick– thanks to afana Saulos Klaus Chilima who is chairman there – the good’ol professor should seriously consider swallowing some bitter healing tablets to keep himself and his buddies to sustain their shadowy political futures.

DPP cheer leaders

DPP cheer leaders

In fact, there is so much need for a therapist in the DPP camp that if we were to place an advert in The Nation or The Daily Times – beside some ‘manhood enlarger’ or ‘breast firming’ drug ad – we would in large, bold letters write: ‘URGENTLY WANTED: THERAPIST TO SAVE DPP FROM AN EARLY GRAVE.’

Within a space of not more than eight days, the DPP has staged some spasmodic Level 1 drama which has left most of us very afraid at, to use one Billy Mayaya’s very unfair description, how the “headless chicken” that has become our leadership will takes us through to the next polls in 2019 – if there will be any, that is.

It is unfortunate, dangerous rather, that instead of disciplining his parliamentarians who have resorted to beating staff at our New Parliament Building while parliament is in session, ankolo Kudontoni – who appeared from nowhere to steer the ruling DPP – was in town telling our good statutory corporations chief executive officers (CEOs) to play the bootlicker side if they wanted to continue eating from the party’s garden of prestige and opportunities.

Well, some of us thought that maybe ankolo Kudontoni had squeezed some sachets of our kill-me-quick liquor we banned the other day, which was being manufactured in huge amounts and is still available in large quantities at the warehouses in Luwinga.

We thought DPP’s nonsense would end there, but hell no. There was more drama coming along the way.

DPP’s president, and CEO of Malawi Inc. surprised, no, shocked all of us, when – instead of pensively attending to some matters of national importance such as plight of albinos, shoddy economy and looming strikes everywhere, currently eating Malawi up like cancer – like a brainless herder led a horde of his boys and girls to scribble some ‘Prof. Peter Mutharika Was Here’ graffiti at some police cell in Lumbadzi.

Of course, as usual Kondwani Nankhumwa was in town justifying Mutharika’s jamboree as some symbolic affair to show that no arrests will be made to settle political scores… blah… blah… blah …

But were their arrests in any way doctored political overtures? Didn’t they, after all, try to circumvent constitutional order after Pres Bingu died suddenly – we really are not sure what date – in April, 2012? Wasn’t the whole affair, even in layman’s language, treasonous after all?

Well, we were not surprised with Nankhumwa’s shallow defense though, which also included some cheap talk about everyone using their personal money on the day in question… blah…blah…blah …But to be gospel truthful,  the whole commemoration of the so-called ‘Liberation Day’ was a shame, and it should not happen again.

If the DPP government wants to erase its nasty legacy – of bludgeoning economic times, deplorable security lapses and a nauseating sort of political instability which we witnessed, not only once but countless times, prior and after the death of Bingu – then it must sweep its yard from inside before it clocks some good twelve months in office not so long from now.

The team at DPP must put its house in order. Ankolo Kudontoni must clean his foul mouth, because, to sound a bit prophetic here, it might cost the party a whole lifetime. It cannot be brushed aside that, much as everyone wants to sound as if these too are not related, a ruling party’s way of looking and doing things has serious repercussions on every government’s performance.

The DPP, for that is where most, if not all, of the president’s chief and junior advisors come from, must also make sure they advise their boss aptly on making plausible diaries regarding his functions. Surely, some trip to some cell for some nonsensical purpose is not the best thing our president should be having in his diary on a Wednesday. It is sheer unthoughtful, and laughable. Such things must stop.

For now, until these things are scraped off, it is Hail DPP, full of fluff…

  • Welcome to ‘War and Peace.’ Don’t miss on Tuesday.


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45 thoughts on “Hail DPP govt, full of fluff… Welcome to ‘War and Peace’”

  1. dee kay says:

    If no Tumbuka can writing anything positive, is there any southerner who knows how to run a government?

  2. Kenkkk says:

    Some comments here show some people filming Tribalism at its best. Just because Nyondo is from the North, explosives and guns are drawn by stupid tribalists from The South attacking him. Yet not much ferocity is shown when journalists from the centre and South say the same things about Peter and his dirty dpp cohorts.

    There is no Need for insulting each other using tribalism as an excuse. Just criticise someone based on facts or what he says not on tribalism. There are northerners who support dpp, so what message are you sending to these faithfuls of yours who happen to be northerners?

    My advice to the people of the North is again we should seriously consider seceding from these lunatics from the south.

    They will Never change. For me personally the change from these people that will convince me to stick with a unified Malawi is when they will elect a northerner to lead dpp or udf. Only then will the beginning of the death of tribalism start. But you know what they will do instead, form another party led by themselves so that they can perpetuate tribalism and divisions in the country because of their numbers. Dpp and udf exploit and use tribalism to the full paying only lip service to a peaceful and unified Malawi. They want Southern domination of Malawi political scene until Jesus comes back. But we will not wait long, sooner or later the secession of the north will be done!! Take my word.

  3. Steve Chikapa says:

    Young Moya & his marhuchanjara guru atikwana onsewa mbuzi zokha x2!

  4. ukoswe says:

    You work for MCP and you don’t appriciate the good our gvt is doing,fuck all Nyasa crew members.

  5. Truth says:

    Expected writings from a crying Tumbuka. They will finish acres and acres but this will not give them the presidency. whether you call Peter names but you will not change the fact that he is HE president of the Republic Of Malawi duly elected by the people of Malawi

    1. Real Truth says:

      Govt is made of 3 arms – the execitive, the legislator, the judiciary; therefore…….Please finish the sentence.

  6. kamps says:

    Atumbuka musatinyase,dziko ilo likulephera kupita patsogolo chifukwa cha atumbuka kuyankhula zinthu zopanda pake.

  7. Mr.Phiri says:

    Comment plot 4 sale888650333

  8. GAYS IN MALAWI says:

    It’s business UNUSUAL in Malawi, Boma lalowa zibwana, izi ndiye masanje eni-eni

  9. xxxxxx says:

    No Mtumbuka can write anything positive about Muthalikas the achievers after their Hill Chakufwa Chihanna died IMFA YOWAWA without testing presidency yet he was one of the early advocates for multiparty. Mtumbuka will never rule this country. But will die just like a barking dog that does not bite and only barks when it is inside its master’s fenced house. Of course sometimes some Tumbukas do reason and call a spade by its real name, but that can not be done with the Tumbukas of NYONDO caliber. If all the Nyondos can write their names and do jolly walk amongest the Lomwe belt, these guys wana see boko haramming them. Nyondo family is made up of thoughtless hybrid dogs mutated from human beings.Sure the nyondos are stupid and kwakwalistic.They are fighting the Lomwes all over. But no matter what, whether you are educated or not you will never rule Malawi yet we the Lomwe ruling Malawi its just by choice not by coicedence or by inherintance as what the female Mtumbuka did in 2012 to 2014. If you were to be polite and remorseful we could have tried to throw the highets post in the land to you, but yayayayayayay we can not dare.

    Dont every ruling party do have power. I was listening to president of Namibia NBC1. He was narrating his leadership and the good governance award he has made. It was very intersting and he was mentioning SWAPO frequently. So no party no president. Even listen to Zuma and his NAC. What more with DPP and its members. Members have to be pompus with their political party. Thats very good.

    1. Jihadi John says:

      A mulakho nonse know that your era is coming to an end and it in very sudden manner…again!!! You think you will rule forever yet your heroes combined can’t even finish 10 yrs!! Fact!! After the death of this old laggard man which is very soon, you will relegated to third class….very soon!!!

    2. collins says:

      Comment democracy and it’s rules must apply.u seem to have attended an msce recently

  10. Andrew says:

    I dnt understand what are you tryng to say mmmmh paja ife amalawi ndichocho kumangonena zolakwika zabwino ayi

  11. apundi says says:


  12. KabilaKabuka says:

    Wise talk! Looking forwatd to more analysis next week.

  13. Abiti Sipoko says:

    Abale the truth is that story iyi ilibe mutu weniweni kweni kweni mukufuna kunena chani! DPP woyeee

  14. Wakulu Wapakati says:

    Mtumbuka angalembenji chabwino cha DPP

  15. Bologo says:

    Anthu samadziwa kuchita zinthu mu nthawi yake chifukwa nkutheka Mr kudontha? Kudonto Ai, KUDONTHA akutengela zomwe kachimbwinda anachita zaka makumi awili zapizo ndie nkumaona ngati zingagwile 2015. Akuona ngati a Malawi adakali nthawi ija yomwe Rev kaswaya ankadzudzula Muluzi kuti achepetse kuenda-enda ndipo Muluzi nkuyankha kuti; “ndimaenda kukhomo kwa manu”? Anthu anvekele,Lyo..Lyo..Lyo,Malawi akutsekuka maso,sakulola kuti wina poti amakhala m’manja mwa police masiku atatu pa zifukwa zomwe ndi zonveka kenako atinyanse ndi kutisokosa ndiphokoso pomwe iye ndi nkulu wake anamanga anthu ambiri osati masiku atatu koma zaka nfunseni luscious Banda,Atupele ndi Ena ngati Obaba omwe ankafuna kuwamanga . A DPP mukuwelenga makubu a kale ndipo sizikuthandizani,komano tikudziwa sidala komano kuti poti boma munatenga mwachinyengo ndi bodza ndipo muenela kuchita chinyengo kuti muphimbe chinyengo china

  16. jj says:


  17. midnight 6 says:

    The rise and fall of a foreigner by the name Peter Mutharika

  18. Sub.T/A says:

    The real advice from the real pius advisor will they take it or leave it but I would like to see the president reshuffle the cabinet ministers fire this Nankhumwa guy and also dpp must fire Kudontoni they are disgrace to the nation the leaders must be the role model to the youth not writing graffiti on the wall if the youth do the same you say they are drunk

  19. matako m'mwamba says:

    This shows how childish Nyapapi is. Pipo are suffering over there but this idott is busy writing on the wall. Its true you wrote on the wall. I can interprate the writing: Tekel, tekel ufara see.

  20. chim says:

    regme ya mbava ma thugs nthawi yanu.

  21. Antobwito says:

    What a shame to the whole Prof. and the whole rigged Government

  22. Gilbert anussa says:

    Malawians we are de problem we encourter problemz wth the same pple bt we dont get areson anymore,we hav pple who can run de count bt we egnal dem

  23. njolomachipilingu says:

    Malawians worry not God will fight for us and very soon we will have Chilima at the helmtrust me.

  24. wanda says:

    When that other man from PP made his remarks that Malawi is better under One Party system, the whole nation went crazy about him to the extent that the man had to step down as PP’s what position I don’t remember. But he resigned from his position nonetheless. What about zombie Kudontoni, why not resign and bring sanity in scumbag DPP? Why not forcing him to resign and put this issue to an end. I pity my beloved Malawi.

  25. Kaidi says:

    Chairman……Wisconsin State University Gay Club!…..ikhale achievement imeneyo?

  26. mazo says:

    Nice peace dude. DPP is full of dunderheads

  27. Ineyo says:

    Koma ma cheer leaders ake

  28. Mwama Du says:

    Koma anthuwa akanakhala ndi nzeru akanayamikira upangiriwu.

  29. Achimidzimidzi says:

    Come next elections don’t vote for DPP. We have seen how childish they are.

    MCP will have landslide victory if this continues and if MCP don’t use these issues as their stepping stones then Dr. Chakwera and Richard Msowoya must resign.

    UDF Ali kofunsa beta Ku DPP.

  30. Mufungwe says:

    Nyondo your writing reflects your personal grudges towards DPP and its entire leadership. The blind cannot lead the blind otherwise you end both into the danger. I don’t think such writing can take Malawi to better heights. We need unbiased and visionary writing.

  31. GUANTANAMO says:

    APM and his DPP cohorts were celebrating the treasonous machinations committed on the 3 mad days of April. This case must restart and shud end in acquittal or conviction. Only then can they start celbrating. All Malawian know what happened on those days and no one can be cheated on the so called ‘Liberation Day’. Yu liberated us from what? Trying to grab power from JB is liberation? Don’t remind Malawians about what yu did on those 3 mad days. Yu reengaged our bitterness

  32. kwake nkuluma says:

    an article lacking in objectivity. it is obvious that pius hate southerners. evidence can be found in his mediocre novella LIONS FROM THE SOUTH. the problem with this lad is that some pple cheated him that he knows how to write. you have a lot to learn, and greatness in writing cannot be achieved by dispaying a phobia for a certain tribe

  33. mbwaxe says:

    Chipani cha angulu chimenechi!!!!! Kwawo ndi kuchinda basi

  34. nkunthamasese says:

    Abathwa wa si anamasempwani a mphiri la Mulanje omwe amasowesa ma tourists okacheza mphirimo? Iwe Kalindo mbeu imeneyi ya tianthu isafike kuno.

  35. Munyalika says:

    kubwera kumeneko

  36. Fathara says:


  37. chisoti says:

    What is the substance in this story if I may ask

    1. Jelbin mk says:

      U can’t see substance simply because you don’t have substance in your head or because the article is not in your mother’s tongue.

      1. Teacher says:

        Eeeeeee koma yaaaaa!

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