Light talk on Monday: ‘We really need prayers to scrap off mediocrity in Masiteni’s government’

My good friend Zikomo Matope is in jail – imprisoned with hard labour at some maximum security prison in Malawi’s eastern city of Zomba in connection to the cash-gate scandal at the capital that will remain in the annals of Malawi’s history as Masiteni’s great ‘achievement.’

You see, had it not been for Diehard Pakwawo – Zikomo’s workmate who is becoming my best pal in beerscapading – I wouldn’t have known what a great thief Zikomo Matope was.

According to Diehard, Zikomo was not a teacher at all but part of Masiteni’s Chipani Cha Anthu personnel who have been placed all over the country to keep gauging the party’s popularity ahead of the forthcoming tripartite elections.

He was getting good money directly from a minister, Diehard told me. But after the minister was apprehended and relieved of his duties for financial maladministration, Zikomo too was arrested.pius-logo lighttalk

Unfortunately for Zikomo, it is only him who is facing the wrath of government’s system of justice as the minister is simply basking in glory after the innumerable service of squandering government’s resources.

While Diehard does not tolerate the nonsense that Zikomo found himself in, he told me that he does not like the shit that seems to characterize Masiteni’s judicial system.

Diehard, a man Zikomo would have been described as meatless, tells without mincing words what a hell the year 2013 has been under the ‘visionary and dynamic’ leadership of Masiteni.

“Masiteni is the worst leader Malawi has ever had,” he told me on Saturday as we emptied the new Carlsberg brand Chill at Mzuzu’s Villa Kagwentha which – though expensive – is selling like prostitutes in the infamous rubber plantations of Viphya.

There, a good fifty men queue to satisfy their sexual starvations via a sweat-armpit stinking girl as a result of staying away from their matrimonial homes for weeks and weeks.

“But every leader has got highs and lows,” I tried to retaliate with neutrality, considering the fact that it seemed everyone had turned their heads towards us.

“But this one is the worst,” he returned. “The rest of her predecessors have only goofed in a few areas such as fighting corruption, governance, economy and leadership but she has failed in all the areas. During the Big Kahuna this was a failed state. That was better. Today, this is completely a dead state without life.”

I was listening in awe.

“We really need prayers as she is doing to scrap off the mediocrity that has characterized her leadership,” Diehard went on.  “Let her reflect on this country, and I hope if God asks her to step down she will do as God wants.”

I coughed, swallowed the remaining half of my Chill in a single gulp and asked: “Who should be our next leader then?”

He did not reply. Instead, he simply looked around and ordered for more beer. The beer silenced me.

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