Malawi running on a rumour!

This country is one funny pot where people walk and think with their tongues.

You can watch them wander about life like excited ions, pouncing at gossip like a starving lion jumping at a tired gazelle.

I don’t blame the people that much though. Perhaps they mostly have nothing better to do. You see, even bright sons and daughters are rotting at home.

They keep their heads up, in case there is good news—their job application receiving a ‘favourable response.’ But this is a lottery they never win. News always gets bad.

Unemployed graduates spend the day at shebeens, scorching their livers with obscenely high voltage rum.

When life is this hard, it becomes a dog eat dog world. People lose their dignity and social values fail.

So, when ‘news’ broke that a Man of God had turned into a snake in Lilongwe’s Area 25, what came next was no big surprise.

Half our Ntandire ghetto dumped pots on the boil and rushed to see things ‘with their own eyes.’

My neighbour caught wind of the ‘scandal’ from his bathroom and if it were not for the stern scold of his wife, he would even have dashed straight to Area 25 in his bathing towel!

Hours later, our neighbourhood had a hundred versions of the same incident. Today, almost a week later, truth remains it was all a hoax.

Our nation is too busy peddling rumour. We are dominos so eager to push gossip forward.

I once tried to help a friend off the rumour mill, but he justified how even the whole news of a leader’s death started as a gossip.

It is an old problem we have. Remember, scores of our celebrities have ever been ‘killed and buried’ by gossip before. Now, we have graduated to Pastors.

Run for cover!

  • The article first appeared in the Nation newspaper
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6 thoughts on “Malawi running on a rumour!”

  1. learnedmi says:

    PROBLEM IS THAT THERE IS NO NEWSWORTHY MATERIAL IN MALAWI. REMEMBER THE ATCHEYA ENGAGEMENT ISSUE WAS HEADLINE IN ONE RADIO STATION. BETTER BBC!

  2. Bingiza says:

    “The Analyst”, much as you would want to criticise the columnist, you end up agreeing with him. The silent parr of the column says that many Malawians have a lot of idle time. By extension, there are few jobs to accommodate all Malawians of age. Your contribution provides one proposal to address this very problem through job creation to keep people busy with productive activities.
    Short, yes, the story might be depending on where it was slotted in The Nation.

    1. The Analyst says:

      I see . . .
      Sometimes the more you think you are changing something, the more you make it remain the same.

  3. wai says:

    Amalwi mwafikapo kusowa zochita kokhakokhako koma yah pezani zochita osamangolimbana ndi azibusa chonde

  4. chigumu says:

    Nkhani zomapekazi abale zafika powonjeza.chodetsa nkhawa nchoti sitifuna kufufuza nkomwe.muzaziwona amend mukukhalira kuwononga mbiri za anzanu

  5. The Analyst says:

    O……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………O
    Are you sure that this article appeared in the Nation Newspaper, with this glaring “shallow depth and short length”? Anyway . . .
    Lets be honest selves and assume you are a neighbour to this snake pastor and the rumour reaches you while you are home. Are you sure you wouldn’t come out to see a neighbour-snake-pastor? You would coz its strange! So its unfair to blame the people who had the chance to flock to see the snake-man or man-snake.
    ……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….
    Also, if each one of us is to search their past selves, before starting to do something sensible in life, we would see ourselves
    . . . cheering and jeering at people fighting; or . . .
    . . . going to video shows; or . . .
    . . . face smudged in wonder at some piece of nothing called ndege ya afiti; or
    . . . Kupelekeza wakuba kupolisi or just looking at a body of wakuba atamuotcha . . .
    . . . e.t.c . . .
    We could spend hours and see nothing wrong doing these things. Do you know why? Because we had nothing sensible to do in life! If the same thing happens now, you wouldn’t dare go there to see ndege ya afiti coz you now have something to do in life.

    Now, you don’t curse others for having plenty of time to do a lot of nothing. I can bet you: nobody chooses to do nothing in life. Malawi as an economy is helping nobody but those in power or in control of national resources. Let’s create jobs or help each other or start up somethig, we shall automatically cease to be useless people. Simple!
    O…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….O

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