Adios Chilumpha! From “Big-Charlie” To “Sloppy-Joe?”

Chilumpha: On the move?

Once again, Nyasa Times with their investigative serene and impeccable pacing have settled for another blockbuster in their outing of the Chilumpha defection to the declining DPP. This is not so gentle a reminder to all dogs and donkeys of politics that they can both pull the same wagon.  Something must give. Likewise, it has in this instance. 

Doubtless, the DPP have acquired, for the last time and most likely, not further than May 2009, a man and personality who has become a home-grown pictogram of political inertia or idleness accompanied by the blizzard or whiteout of half-cooked DPP buddies who can never see anything beyond their nostrils. 

Chilumpha has also delivered a very unrestricted and possibly irritating raspberry in the bearing of the likes of Kennedy Makwangwala, who did everything to suggest it was purely a matter of time before Chilumpha lost his political petticoat after he was humiliated at the UDF convention. 

True, in simple yet eloquent style, Chilumpha through his giddy actions has been portrayed as the arc of complicated political romanticism, from infatuation by his UDF cohorts to betrayal of his underwriter, the hard-hitting Big Sam Mpasu who he has never visited at Prison where he is doing the beans for the Fieldyork “outrage”. 

What one can say about the Chilumpha defection to the DPP is that, it is a ridiculously, loosely woven scarecrow attempt, and judgment dysfunction that only confirms the speculation that the treason charges leveled against him might be true.  

It would not be off the beam to assume that Matumula went hunting for snipers, no?  Anyone who has spent their intellectual august trying to delve into the intrigue surrounding this case will agree that Chilumpha’s actions defy the laws of starched legal decorum. 

For in this sequel or development the accuser and the accused are trying desperately to position themselves strategically to look innocent while groaning under the weight of mountains of hypocrisy, innuendo and utter churlishness.  

Shall we say this is an unexpected but disgraceful twist of political allegiance revealed only in the shadows of vengeance as the protagonists return to familiar territory? Is this the politics of narcissism? Understandably, MCP’s MP Mbowani must be cursing his act of benevolence that made him advocate for the termination of the treason charges against Chilumpha in Parliament.  

Definitely, Chilumpha knows that the Opposition and not Lameck Nembo have been agitating for his release and for him to behave in this suicidal and ungrateful manner is perplexing.  The best Chilumpha can do for his followers and sympathizers, is to come in the open and declare his position before they put the soapbox away.   

What is more, his unpalatable tendency to use other people to push his envelope is outdated and counterproductive.  Since we live in a world of accountability and transparency it is only appropriate for our leaders for once to show some decency in the way they conduct political matters.  This is not the best behavior from a sitting Vice President.  Chilumpha is getting away with a fender bender!  To many people though, this looks like a thumping fall from a “Big Charlie” to a “Sloppy Joe”. 

Do we see a Dr. Jekyll and Dr. Hyde here?  Is it not comical and chimerical that Chilumpha, who happens to be a professional lawyer, finds it normal to fall from the Vice Presidency dais to being a mere Member of Parliament?  What ambition is that? 

 Well, in his usual reticent manner, Chilumpha has decided to mine the deviations of political suaveness and impiety again.  He may wish to abandon his shell and see if he can use his lyrical communication skills to bait us into the sultry air of multiparty democracy, the crystalline beauty of a politician who can engage with dexterity and construct his image through fragments of poetical moments as if we cannot see linear experience. 

 I still remember Chilumpha when he was at his peak as a UDF publicist who rendered great snapshots that described the unsavory reputation of the Banda regime in its proper perspective, and told the irksome and heart yanking stories about the seemingly impossible crimes that one dictator and his cronies could commit against his fellow human beings.  

He was masterfully drawn, and his interest in promoting the tenets of democracy in the then depraved country was outspoken considering all he endured as a freedom fighter. This is the man who always hit the mark dead on as he always moved the political mark quickly to the advantage of the Opposition then, through enthralling diction and ideological leaps forward in time.   

He couched everything brilliantly in his computer like mind as he prompted a political discussion group standard.  He did everything the way he did it best and that is why it is so devastating to his admirers to learn that he has decided to create a negative responsorial vignette to the good will people showed towards him in time of need.  

The truth is copyright: Chilumpha’s actions can be described in one line.  This is an illustration of his moral dissolution-the zenith of sublimated jealousies suddenly exploding into the open.  Of course, we will miss his masterful control of issues; particularly in the sure-handed and compassionate manner, he dismissed Mutharika’s defection from the UDF.  

Who is next?