Rapping the year 2015: Malawi stituation

Well, like my namesake Aunt Patricia Akweni Kaliati, I should agree I have been rather so ‘kusowa’ much of the last part of 2015. Not by design, but as the namadya bwino and top bosses of our world usually say, I  engageged with other things ‘equally important’. So there.Masinga HA  HA HA

2015, right? A good riddance or a must keep?

Perhaps we need to start with the most current itch itself, that Escom has received the nod from MERA to hike its tariffs.

Listen to this: “Electricity tariffs to go up from January 2016. The Malawi Energy Regulatory Authority (Mera) Board has resolved that ESCOM electricity tariffs be increased from an average of MK40.69/kWh to MK53.69/kWh (or US$0.08 per KWh), with effect from 1 January 2016.”

In a statement dated December 22 2015, Mera Board chairperson Dingiswayo Jere says the board made the decision on December 2.

Fine and good. We all live a life with progress in our minds. And we all also want to make a profit.

But hey, wasn’t it just very recently that we had blackouts day in and out some wise brain rebranded our core power supplier Boscom (Black Outs Supply Commission of Malawi)?

And we all know this no-black outs momentum we are enjoying right now is just a festive season bluff. Come 4th January 2016 we plunge back into an era of both God’s given and Boscom initiated darkness.

We know it will be risky to stock fresh foods for any month in our fridges. We know fresh food dealers will lose business in rotten merchandise.

We know late hour pub-revellers lives will be put at risk, first, tipped against possible thugs on the dark corners going back home and two, warm beers that have more powerful intoxicating tendencies than colder ones – just as Night Vigil and Night of Prayer women and girl pugilists will be put at risk of sexual attacks by night stalkers as well as libidinous pastors, church elders, and choir masters who have no humane powers to pull their zippers up and keep them there unlike they can easily maintain their Bibles and hymn songs up their armpits.

The scenario either way will see a Boscom induced baby boom. And our population strides are no figures to be proud of considering our land/ geographic and economic size!

Again, thugs will easily attack us in the dark just as investors will give us a colder shoulder. You can’t manufacture iron roofs, for instance, on a genset just as you can’t seriously extract uranium on bags of charcoal.

Speaking power generation, hydro for Malawi is being over exerted. Can we also explore geothermal and wind, solar energy?

“Chimutu! Barman, another glass of one, please. Make it red this time. You said I already had six of the white? Ndi khisimisitu iyi!”

Secondly, failure to table and pass the Access to Information (ATI) bill.

Did you say there are some inconsistencies in the bill or there are a lot of skeletons in government places? Hey, plain and simple, the leadership does not want to be transparent and accountable to it’s own people, its very employers.

And yet they claim the have engaged full gear in fighting corruption and massive theft of public resources.

Pass that bill, and we all get to enjoy its fruits. That bit is not for journalists. It’s neither Misa piece of legislation. Its for Malawians to participate in the running of affairs governing them. After all, er all pay tax and many of you up there are tax exempt.

Gays. For the first time in his life, maybe because the man just wants to wrap his year on a good note, dirty George Chaponda is right.

The US and UK have so much space within their countries where gays are prohibited. And why should the entire Malawi be infested by bent minds, gays!

I join him to say those powers, their money or not, can best live this issue to Malawians to decide. We aren’t South Africa. If their money is dirty, may they keep it.

There is cleaner money in the East. Like Comrade Mugabe, yes Uncle Bob, we can embrace the Yuen and let the Dollar wipe them gay bottoms.

An even better idea, please transfer all gays and lesbians to the US and UK, etc. Inform them it’s under the adjective *asylum. Yes, running away from ‘gay persecution and prosecution”.

Apparently, 14 years in jail is just too little a legal remedy. Give us LIFE!

Hunger. Most Malawians won’t afford their food this year. Bad rains, etc, Climate change, are all to blame. Also unharmonised policies around climate change, land, agriculture, etc.

We can do better.

Finally, the Road Traffic Directorate. Who or what, even which, do they think we are?

They introduce an extra card just for you to be able to get a service like COF or vehicle change of ownership. And again with their Interpol madness, they deliberately register your vehicle Chasis number erroneously, leaving out a few end digits, and asking you to pay K5,000 to have your blue book corrected.

This government is out to kill us. Next year 2016 let’s put it in serious check.

I wrap my year 2015 rap.

Happy New Year!

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7 thoughts on “Rapping the year 2015: Malawi stituation”

  1. Mapuya says:

    Patricia I wish you did a rather in depth analysis of the country’s woes the mess the economy is facing, the failure for government to take responsibility over the lack of drugs in hospitals and the order to stop patients from getting food as well as the appetite for luxury for the people in government at the expense of the suffering magnitudes.

  2. Sir Bentby says:

    the truth needs no cover, but lies do. and it takes 1000 lies to cover one lie.
    Patricia you have presented facts and every culprit is strained with it( Western donors and MW govt).

  3. Chidzukulu cha Akwitusya says:

    Patricia much us we know some people are benefiting from all these ill treatment that the country is facing they will not accept this article of yours totally…. but I say good analysis has been presented here…these are facts not opinions….Why because these are things on the ground…. amati chilungamo chomawawa…..awa akukamba za chisankho kodi sadamve of this guy who was one of the team that was employed pobela zisankho….some of us we are still waiting for the response….. isn’t it making sense the burning of the voting materials kkkkkk….anyway Patricia keep us updating the. things that are killing our country….

  4. Mapwevupwevu says:

    Useless writing from a weeping Joyce Banda supporter!

  5. levelheaded says:

    Patricia, the last time you posted one was when Joice Banda had her boggus researches of her winning the election. Let’s point it blank sisi you had eated your share from JB to the point of turning you lunatic at anything about the blues. Since her loss, you have all this time been nursing your open fractures,when are you joining your mistress in the asylum seeking madness?

    You caused me so much pain that time sisi, now dance to the blueprint tune till end of time.

  6. Liz says:

    Its “Wrapping” not Rapping.

  7. Anthu akuda says:

    Thanks Patricia for highlighting some ills ravaging our society. I liked going through the article. One thing I fail to agree with you, though, is the notion that there is cleaner money in the east(China). Do you think so? Don’t you realize that the so called Chinese non interference foreign policy provides a haven for tyranny, and makes their money equally dirty? Given the opportunity, I would advise China as a growing global leader to use its influence to censure opressive governments. Again, I often see many of us emitting our admiration of president Mugabe. How I wish some of us had a chance to live in Zimbabwe just perhaps for a month to appreciate the living conditions in that country. “Maso apatali amaongola mtengo opindika” Much as so many of take delight in Mugabe’s rhetoric, his style of leadership is an unbearable thorn in the flesh of those living in Zimbabwe. I don’t think Malawi would be happy to have a leader who clings to power even when his age visibly counts strongly against it.

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