This is Malawi, are you surprised? – Lawyer John Gift Makhwawa

I grew up reading magazines. Two if not three or four of them. But I liked one and only one. It was Moni monthly magazine. Moni my favourite because it had a competition in which I am told I won a paraffin cooker in those years. Imagine.

Former president Muluzi (right) with President Mutharika

Former president Muluzi (right) with President Mutharika

Then, I was only but just a baby, and the entry was made by divine parents for their lovely son. Yes, Moni magazine, my sister became a friend to a pen pal from Lirangwe and we could not figure out from Mzuzu what this Lirangwe was.

It must have been a mistake; it ought to have been Lilongwe? We thought. But there it was though, another Grace from Lirangwe and all because my sister Grace had also won with an entry on her behalf. Moni.

I also read other magazines such as POMA. This was a Police magazine. My dad was not a policeman but he had his networks, am told he almost had become one. Rest thee well Dad.

Now in this POMA magazine features were people urinating on handcuffs and handcuffs breaking; witchcraft was another big feature…flying humans, I have learnt they are now known as aliens.

And then, there was another periodical called ‘This is Malawi!’

This is Malawi was the mouthpiece of the powers that be. It only carried good sweet-sugar coated stories about the Mighty Ngwazi, Nkhoswe Number One, Destroyer of Stupid Federation and his henchmen and women.

I believed everything I read in ‘This is Malawi’ after all it was magazine ya boma!

Now I wonder, if Kamuzu had children known to us, these magazines may have been full of his wife and children.

For I have seen obsessions with children or siblings.

Muluzi and his son, Bingu and his brother, then came Joyce and her sons.

I am reminded of David Whitehead & Sons. Never seen, never known the sons. I only know Mapeto.

This is Malawi. It sums up everything, doesn’t it?

PP & Sons, UDF and sons, DPP and brothers, so and so forth.

Are you surprised? I am not astounded at all, because this Malawi.

Imagine your parents running fast and furious from their own house. As a child do you stick around or you just start running?

But then, this is Malawi, anything is possible and were it not scripted in the Police Magazine? Have we forgotten about them weird stories we used to read in Police magazine?

That tomorrow we all longed for has come…It is here. Tomorrow has come!

  • John Gift Mwakhwawa is a private practice lawyer and now a Nyasa Times columnist
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39 thoughts on “This is Malawi, are you surprised? – Lawyer John Gift Makhwawa”

  1. Bwana Lee says:

    If I am to read for pleasure I see a man who is trying to preach about his past but if I am to comprehend there is more to this article than simply the past. gentlemen this is Malawi

  2. Uta wa Leza says:

    Sounds like poetry, Mr John, with a little sprinkle of sarcasm to make the words go down like nsima ndi therere! There was another Malawi with Kapalepale and Nachathu struggling with life issues just like us!

  3. CHEKUCHEKU says:

    I Know Mwakhwawa As A Lawyer But I Also Know Him As A Chain Smoker. Maybe He Took Too Much Uyu Akuti Apange Legalise Chamba.

  4. jala says:

    waliyose na ntchito yake a lawyer mwalembachi apa nthena akiakiaki

  5. oh yes! this is malawi indeed. a country that belongs to politicians n their ego. this is indeed malawi abused by a few greedy n selfish nannies and he-goats. trained lawyers turn into mafia for fast cash! God is seeing all these things n he will surely deal with any one of u accordingly. foolish souls!

  6. Greese says:

    Kungodziwa kuchita quote constitution ndi malamulo analemba anzanu basi. imeneyo ndiye sukuluyo? A zitsiru inu. Muziwerenga literary works kuti mudziwe kulemba si zitosi ndi ndowe mwayika apayi.

  7. TK says:

    This piece is not for people who can only manage yo read a e I o u. It is a loaded item

  8. Ndirande Love says:

    Gift has selective remembering, he forget on purpose AFORD and Chihana and sons.

  9. cage mndala says:

    Kkkkkkkkkk my good people do we have an online news paper or publication !!! Koma ma school amasikwano !!!!!!! @ kufuna kukhala a critic ndiye nkungoziyikaso okha mmazi !! Shit !!! U just knw !!

  10. Lee Kachoka says:

    Kantini ya malume.Tidye zithe.

  11. GRM says:

    Wow! Feeling nostalgic. This is Malawi! What a powerfully written story combining history and present. Yes indeed it is from history that we can predict the future. Anganyawa nchimodzimodzi

  12. Tombolombo says:

    Literally a good piece. Takes out the steam in you.

  13. Zanga Phee! says:

    But when shall we have the proper President who shall focus on our problems at large?see my name.

  14. CHE ELIAS says:

    Gift,
    You are surely a good Lawyer but not a good writer.. I have read both your entries and they leave quite a lot to be desired. A column ought to present information in the most coherent way possible. much as this is your opinion but some of us expect experts analysis because usually columns present information that has already circulated in the media. Write Again!

  15. Mbanangwa says:

    Very interesting article. It is a shame hat some fellow on planet earth can not extract substance from it. Kikikikikiki. Different universities, some without logic and critical thinking.

  16. Mpoto says:

    Do not worry! This article is an eye opener. It is simply telling us that presidents mind more about their relations rather than the the country at large. They mind more about themselves, their children, their brothers and less about the citizens they lead.

  17. mbuzi says:

    Hie nyastimes. The my name the mbuzi. I am wants the becomes colums. How do you do? Help! Help!

  18. womenslib says:

    The article is pointless, ridiculous and badly written. What a a waste of two minutes of my time. This dude is a lawyer. Sometimes it’s more beneficial to just write simply and clearly instead of speaking in riddles. This is an online newspaper article, not an outline for an obscure short story.

  19. Bongozo says:

    This column is not for the slow learner. .. You need to read between lines to grasp the intent or to get the gist of the story. Simply put, he is telling us that political parties are just family business. So it’s up to you & me to embrace it or change the trend.

  20. kabira kabuka says:

    chamba kwabasi

  21. Menaille says:

    don’t force horse to drink water ngat u don’t kumva jst ask me l can…… ndiye

  22. Namukachapa says:

    This is written by a prominent lawyer? Heaven help us,

  23. i love prostitutes says:

    there’s no point to this article at all

  24. Mafia Jungumbawa says:

    I know JGM its just a starter. Keep it up my boy from Thengere

  25. stuart says:

    kodi that lady behind muluzi abale can u elaborate

  26. manunkha says:

    i cant understand this story and its intentions. All i see is that we are reading about the writters childhood which i dont think is necessary to us. Maybe nyasa times should look for better writters. Gift is a good lawyer but certainly not a good writter

  27. Gordon says:

    JGM please keep it up. So interesting.

  28. Ed_sheeran says:

    I have to admint with the way things are running nowdayz, with the issue of having more scholars in malawi and the way politics is being runned surely iam surprised and confused

  29. zoona says:

    Zinazi ikakhala kuti simbali yanu kungokhala chete basi. Mwalembapo chani pamenepa. JGM what do you wish for your children right now?

  30. Kafire says:

    Nobody is barred from contesting. Sizibwera on a silver platter izi

  31. chaiwone wawo says:

    What exactly is the essence of the post?

  32. Amon Chandi says:

    Beautiful! Well put together! And true and meaningful! I salute you JGM!

  33. Wa Nzeru Wa Kummawa says:

    So what??

  34. mbuzi says:

    Write stuff worth reading Please. No need to flow like a gangstar. You are a lawyer after all.

  35. Presidential Advisor says:

    …..that tomorrow we yearned for is here, and we have to deal with the painful truth, well put counsel

  36. CHEWA FEDERAL FRONT says:

    “…flying humans aliens”? Aliens are not human, but humanoid.
    At any rate, there is no other mind-bending a reality as that of the “earth-man” coming to discover that he is not alone in the universe. His Religion and much of his science immediately falls away as a pack of lies!!!
    But then, again, my good author, tell me you are kidding about the “Tomorrow we longed for has come!”. For all we know, SECESSION has not happened yet; well, not even Federalism. Nevertheless, are gonna wait for as long as it takes.

  37. Mmihavani says:

    This is Malawi indeed where lawyers think they can write. This is Malawi where the citizens don’t follow world affairs. Indeed this is Malawi where the citizens know that their country is on planet earth but assume that other countries like U.S.A, Kenya, France, UK etc are on another planet. If they knew that U.S.A, Kenya, France, UK etc are on planet earth they wouldn’t say that Malawi is exceptional. Who on earth doesn’t know about George Bush senior and junior, and now Jeb Bush? Even kids in Malawi know about Bill Clinton, and then there is her wife Hillary Clinton. That is U.S.A and not Malawi. Is it not in France where we have Le Pen the father and Marie Le Pen the daughter? How about Kenya where the name Kenyatta as a leader is spanning generations? I don’t need to mention of UK’s Millibands et al. These things are influenced in family set ups. We have seen children of judges becoming judges, of teachers becoming teachers, of soccer players becoming players. Yes it’s only in Malawi where we think and write under the influence of hatred and jealousy.

  38. crazy stuff says:

    a bloody senseless article. Come uo with some interesting stuff pleeeaasse

  39. Alfred Munduwabo says:

    To add to that ” TODAY’S MALAWI “

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