Watch out: Won’t be a JB surprise come 20 May

Been a long time. Yes, hibernated, but with a busy and wide eye watching. That’s right, following events unwind and as we come to 20 May 2014 in just about less 10 days or so, I think I have read, seen, heard, and of course, dreamed enough.

Was it not just in the near past when we were all yapping Cashgate, and then the other gates – Jet, Maize, and even ‘Orange Shoes’ graced our lips. Malawians have lips not for only the purpose God may have created them for, which for some romantics may think is for kissing places, but for also gesturing in all the ‘baddest’ manners at those who we may oppose.

And oppose we love to do. We are always at the other end of each and every other idea. When it looks good, it is wrong. When its all smart, we punch in some holes so it leaks. That is the lot that is Malawian.

Look. JB may not be the best that MKalawi can offer out of the 17 plus million people the national census wildly think may be populating Malawi at this time. She may not be the best woman ever, having failed a first marriage though doing fine in her second. And she may be the worst public speaker to many outside her camp, but the woman has with her words helped transform many.

Am thinking about the ongoing campaign, and am tempted to call it ‘Campaign-Gate’ just to please those who find anything that seems to say positive truth about Abiti Mtila.

SO here is Campaign-Gate for you:

1. From JB’s cleverly studded campaign trail, I think the woman is up for true first five years term as Malawi’s president. After the two year’s leftover from late Bingu wa Mutharika (MHSRIEP), JB might as well be geared and already steered for another stay at State House.

2. Here are my reasons. Her campaign gravy is targeting the poor rural masses. The people that, unfortunately again, suffer the most when leaders get into power and are just tools to stepping into presidency. What she is doing is somewhat unique. She has a herd of cattle, some goats, some bags of maize, and a few quick-build houses to dangle before their eyes.

Those poor masses are INSTANTLY getting results from her campaign. You don’t need to ‘cultivate’ a cow before giving it to someone. All JB is doing is just purchasing some Zebus and driving them where she strategically knows she will have transformed not only the poor from poverty to a better life, somewhats, but also transformed their minds from the ignorant bondage of believing they have no life beyond MCP’s tambala wakuda, UDF’s yellow clasped hands, and DPP’s feverish quadruplicated maize cobs, etc. That JB and PP ndi pompopompo!

With just a cow, a goat, a bag of maize, JB is got the people on her side. At least a good number to her side. Why, the people are experiencing her Midas tough outright.

3. Mudzi Transformation. Just travel along the M1 road, anywhere, in strategic roadside places, including in Mangochi, you will not be mistaken to think those uniform looking iron corrugated roofed house are her famous house for the vulnerable gifts to the poor. Yes, they are littered almost in every other district, and the old hardy women are there to propel her name for eternity. Those house, few and selective as they may seem, have added numbers to JB’s campaign trail.

4. NGOGCN: Hey, is that not the Emma Kalia and company toy? Of course yes it is, and am happy to say am also one great beneficiary from the 50:50 campaign as I have been afforded an opportunity to write about women standing up to make change – politically.

Guess what we hear on ZBS, that Gospel Kadzako voice, influencing a vote for women and touting women as best leaders can not be under-estimated. When Gospel says ‘voti yanuyo mupatse amayi’ he is not only talking about them dame Parliamentary and Councillor aspirants, he is, think me mad, also touting the JB woman power in better leadership over the blue, green, and yellow parties that boast the bearded.

The only other presidential aspirant that advert is promoting could be said to be the Mbatata-famous M’busa Hellen Singh. So we are somewhat, in the gospel of NGOGCN, through the appealing voice of one Gospel Kadzako, been asked to vote for a woman, because in them, there is committed, dedicated, and motherly leadership.

And do we know ZBS’ catchment area? National, and if you go to most rural areas, they think every journalist is Zodiak and they put their trust in what Zodiak ‘preaches’!

And unfortunately, JB is a woman. A woman leader at that! My fellow woman…

5. Hey, there are numerous other campaign adverts aside the NGOGCN that are pitching the gender bias towards women, and well, JB and Singh are the best of beneficiaries. Weigh the two, and JB is again tops.

Will you be surprised if she wins?

6. JB campaign team is also very creative and just a copy-cat, I dare say, of Hitler’s Goebbels strategies. Having pressure using public broadcaster MBC for their campaign ends, the PP party has swiftly moved to engage other media. And their choice of ZBS, again, is a killer punch, as it connects more with the majority rural people – somewhat a majority by population percentages and also the very people that vote more than townsfolk who waste ‘vote for so…’ on FB and other social media.

You should listen to the program Know about PP Manifesto or something on those lines. I am tempted to announce JB an automatic winner.

7. Learning from the Zimbabwe goof by estranged MMD leader, Morgan Tsvangirai, Robert Mugabe and his Zanu PF concentrated in rural areas during the campaign. That is where the votes reside, and anyone wanting to make a good fill of ones ballot box, better start looking rural. Clever enough, JB has done more good work in the rural areas, and is just filling in the potholes left in towns now.

Her campaign has been almost door to door. Sniffing out almost every eligible voter to come out and listen to the lot she has done in just 2 years, over what Bingu or Bakili or Kamuzu may have done in their accumulative years of leadership.

8. For the intellectually sane, the Cashgate matter is not a complete JB bad-air doing. Personally, my argument is if you have a father who is told by the wife that the children are misbehaving and he does nothing, such kind of a man should never have been married and sired at all in the first place.

So no matter the circumstances leading to Cashgate, at least JB has taken action. Arrested some, locked up some, is still sniffing up some, and will have made it a point that Malawians and Malawi are tired of long wrong fingers in the national kitty.

Bingu and Muluzi did nothing when told of the iceberg that today is Cashgate. And Dr. Laz, as they are starting to call that ‘run-away’ ex-man of God, is also said to have benefited more from Cashgate proceeds than any other presidential aspirant.

All this put together, am sure that JB will carry the day. And all this does not allude or point to any rigging. It is the oppositions own making and fault that they are unfortunately going to fail the test.

They have failed to work together because each one of them has personal interstes and not Malawians’ interests at heart. Some dream of jumping on helicopters to go opening stalled inland ponds. Some are busy with no-good American slang throwing with an unfortunate empty fill of endearing or attractive policy promises that will translate Malawi.

Going on the podium and telling masses ‘MCP shall translate Malawi politics or business’ is not what Malawians are looking for. Malawians want to understand how that will be done – with clearly laid down policies.

And just been ‘Ung’onoung’ono’ is just damn crazy that one will slide into State House corridors. Give us mfundo, chonde.

Than we have brothers who cannot work together, each a president of some own party, I fail to see any reason any sane person will be respected if they came to power failing to agree within their family confines.

Lastly, akuti achimwene anakana kuti akhale pulezidenti. So why is anyone apart from Dr. Chiona’s ten paged document bothering about APM?

Do not be surprised, the opposition has divided their own chances at getting to State House by being greedy, self-centered, and failing to pass home policy issues despite good platforms (debates) being offered to them.

NOTE: The only thing all presidential aspirants have in common is their inability to voice out on what will happen to homosexuality calls once they are in power. All of them.

The opposition has dwelt in town and like Tsvangirai that is not a good card. Finally, the opposition has opposed itself in this May 20 showdown. So I haven’t just been missing in action for nothing… hate or love my written madness here.

Any surprises that JB may win?