Wise One: Mr President, in Malawi, hyenas exist in both high and low places, arrest them all

In Malawi, just in the past two weeks forty eight people have been arrested.

President Mutharika has directed  Police chief Lexten Kachama to arrest sex predators

President Mutharika has directed Police chief Lexten Kachama to arrest sex predators

Sixteen were students from the Chancellor College, the Polytechnic contributed fourteen, and the Kamuzu College of Nursing’s quota was seventeen, all for protesting the thoughtless and cruel fee hike which anyone who enjoyed free or heavily subsidised university education has no moral high ground from which to defend such a burden on other generations.

Unique among the forty eight, sort of the icing on the cake if you want, is the ‘hyena’ man from Nsanje who has shot to overnight fame, or rather to infamy, thanks to an interview he granted the British Broadcasting Corporation (BBC).

One does not have to be a wise man from the east to connect the dots and unearth the overwhelming evidence that all these arrests share a common denominator.

And this is the fact that in all these arrests – under someone’s wise and pragmatic leadership now duly enhanced with a honorary degree; the inept but overzealous Malawi Police have been merely arresting symptoms instead of the leadership grappling with the underlying causes.

Since the question of University Fees is so obvious, and I am hopeful sanity and unselfishness will soon prevail among our pharaohs whose children are mostly educated abroad with our taxes, my focus is on other things cultural and criminal yet to be arrested.

My cultural entry point is the ‘hyena’ man who has been de-virginising our girls under the archaic and disgusting tradition of kuchotsa fumbi.

Talking to the BBC…. sorry, scrap that; gloating to the BBC, he claimed to have had 279 virgins at his disposal, without any protection whatsoever, all in the name of ‘preserving our culture and traditions’.

He even went further to insult all of humanity that all the girls that suffered this indignity were grateful; congratulating him the morning after, because he had taken them to ‘heaven and back’ with his wizardry.

What a psychopath!

Custodians, the supposed custodians of our culture are traditional chiefs. And chiefs, whenever a president or any political leader comes calling in their yards, always have long wish lists for the general public plus a deep begging bowl for their greedy selves.

The last recorded and televised interaction between a president of the Republic and a chief, was at TA Kabudula’s elevation. The Chief made a speech, and the president also had his turn.

I do not want to bore you to death with the mundane stuff that passed for ‘speeches’, I will just get straight to the point.

Anyone who has watched the BBC Video clip featuring the ‘hyena’, and happened to listen to President Arthur Peter Mutharika’s advice for the newly elevated chief, now understands the folly of electing, with all due respect, matchona – never mind how seemingly educated – to govern Malawi.

The president’s crucial advice to the new Chief, to deliver which costed us tax-payers millions ferrying him and his hangers-on to Kabudula’s headquarters for the function, was that the new chief should bar the opposition from conducting rallies in his area.

That was all. Yes, that was the developmental advice that his emptiness delivered to the newly elevated chief.

That nonsense Ladies and Gentlemen, was what our esteemed citizen number one considered presidential advice.

Come on Mr President, you can’t be serious!

You mean, someone from London comes to Malawi, tracks down an HIV positive fella having raw sex with maidens, manages to interview him, and identifies our culture as the culprit; and you Sir, leave the State House – surrounded by thousands of security agents who should be safeguarding albinos, us and our property – arrive at Kabudula Headquarters to elevate yet another custodian of our culture, and all you are worried about is the opposition coming to conduct a rally after your departure?

Is everything fine upstairs Sir?

This may sound rude, but I have to ask: apart from what this President may have read on Wikipedia, how much does he really know about us?

The point being, with that clip making rounds on mainstream and social media, with that hyena man making us all look like the fools we are to all English-speaking people in world, with you Sir having your respect dented because some people out there are not ruling out the distant possibility that at some point or another, you too may have happily “served” as a hyena; all you can advise a Chief is to chase away the opposition?

Let’s face it my colleagues, if his excellency really knew us, he would have known that Chiefs – with respect to:

• challenges like abuse of girls and women,

• the many instances of girls dropping out of school to get married to older men,

• issues of girls becoming mothers at the age of twelve,

• the sick practice of property grabbing,

• the ordeal of rape victims being afraid to come out; and

• other archaic customs and traditions they lord over,

are the biggest part of the problem.

Therefore granted an opportunity to address a chief, any one who really knows Malawians, would worry about the real issues above, and not an opposition rally happening in his wake.

Lest I too be accused of arresting the symptom of a more deep-rooted ailment rather than the cause, I will go on to add that the underlying cause of where we are, lies in the way we choose leaders from councillors to parliamentarians to presidents, who then have the prerogative of appointing a whole lot of incompetents as ministers, heads of parastatals including the university council – the manufacturers of the current university fees crisis.

The day we learn and start thinking more patriotically, as opposed to nepotistically in our choices, is the day Malawi will shift from that grouping of poorest countries, which – apart from Malawi- the rest have been under civil strife or some other calamity.

To conclude, arresting the students will not make them afford the university fees. No.

Locking up the one ‘hyena’ will not protect our maidens from HIV and other STIs the hyenas carry and spread. Nope.

Our problems, shame and disgrace will only end the day we begin separating the sheep from the hyenas in our midst when electing leaders, at all levels.

And lest we forget, the cashgate ‘hyenas’ being shielded by His Excellency ought to have been the ones arrested in these past two weeks, and not the students.

Fact is: as opposed to the wild hyena-men hunt which his excellency has commissioned, to be complimented soon with legislation, for the cashgate “hyenas” that he is feeding, we already have laws in place that make stealing from the public purse a crime.

We have an institution- the ACB – that is supposed to quickly bring the cash gate hyenas to book, but yet, but yet, the Auditor General’s MK236 million report is now gathering dust.

My parting question therefore is: with respect to this new piece of legislation that the president is talking about, what purpose is it going to serve when the MK236 billion Cashgate has proved that the president lacks the backbone to tackle law breakers?

I rest my case.

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14 thoughts on “Wise One: Mr President, in Malawi, hyenas exist in both high and low places, arrest them all”

  1. Fanny says:

    Hey “Wise One” ulipo kodi? Wasowa mzanga iwe. PP ilibwanji? Undiperekere moni kwa a former caretaker of the republic of Malawi, Dr. professor Mrs. Abiti JB Ntila. Tell her I am missing her “brackets 2”.

  2. Issa says:

    SO HE KNOWS ABOUT THE LOWER SHIRE HYENA BUT HE DOESN’T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT THE SEVEN MINISTERS? AND HE DOESN’T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT THE ONGOING STRIKE IN OUR UNIVERSITIES. SHAME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! KUKONDA KUDYA MAKOSWE MUNTHU UMAGANIDZA MOPEREWERA. IF THIS MORON WINS AGAIN 2019 WE SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF OURSELVES.

  3. Nyasas says:

    We have a joker as president and ours is cartoon republic. Pathetic

  4. The author believes : “Anyone who ….. happened to listen to President Arthur Peter Mutharika’s advice for the newly elevated chief, now understands the folly of electing, with all due respect, matchona – never mind how seemingly educated – to govern Malawi.”

    This has nothing to do with Peter Mutharika spending a long time abroad. It is very sad to note that commentators lose the plot when they attribute mishaps in governance and development to a leader having spent many years abroad. Malawi has had four presidents before APM; two were the so-called “Matchona”; namely Hastings kamuzu Banda and Bingu Wa Mutharika. The other two were home-grown (non-Matchona); namely Bakili Muluzi and Joyce Banda. They all had their own different shades of contributions to our country.

    Movers and shakers on the ground, please Tear Down This Rift that has been erected between you and your own brothers and sisters who are or have been abroad. Malawi needs “Malawian Solutions” which will require us to leverage on contributions from all of us no matter where we are. However, the mindset of those who are the ground is the key catalyst to the success of such. So please stop this “them-against-us” mindset. That is just another form of the big elephant in our midst, Tribalism. The rifts are getting us nowhere as a nation.

    From regime to regime, we and our general mindset make our leaders. They are are elected from among us the people and their actions are cheered on by the people. The mindset of a society seers its leadership.

    By the way, what percentage of cashgate suspects and/or convicts are Machonas or returnees?

    #MicDrop

  5. Chimunthu says:

    ‘Wise One’ I applaud your plain speaking, no-holes-barred approach to the problems facing poor Malawi under the benighted leadership of His Excellency Dr. Professor Peter A Mutharika. It reminds me of the lyrics of a Beatles song of the 60’s which refer to God as ‘a nowhere man sitting in his nowhere land making up his nowhere plans for nobody’. For ‘God’ substitute ‘the President of Malawi’.

  6. Aubrey and Gloria says:

    I can’t really agree more Mr. Wiseman from the East. The article explains it all. Sometimes I say to myself that JB was a very strong woman who said publicly times without number that she would not shield anyone found to be among the Cashgaters. Look, she was only a woman. Very courageous indeed. Here we have another “male” President also publicly declaring that he won’t arrest any Cabine Minister in the famous K577 Billion. Here is the President who is also the Chancellor of the University of Malawi and is mum on all the impasse in all the constituent colleges of the UNIMA. In my laymans view I thot he could have been the first one to bring all involved to a round table discussion to sort out this impasse once and for all to avoid further damage. After all these innocent students are marching for the right cause. Right now the economy is in bad shape. This is why recently some students couldn’t continue with their education due to fees problems. They were bailed out of the situation by the same President. I therefore, wonder as to how the same students will afford a hiked fees this time around. Masankhasankha a Malawi, siiiiizo tinasankha chilomboooooo!

  7. Maunisi says:

    Useless government. KKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK

  8. Mzala says:

    There is lot of wisdom in this piece of writing

  9. MISUKU BOY says:

    The hyna is not at fault but the tradition. Look he was doing after being consulted to carry out duty of chewing goats/lamps to strengthen them. He is but a scapegoat. Can u please release him unconditionally and erase this dirty tradition once and for all

  10. bigd says:

    mpaka cash-gate hyena haahaa mwana wanzako????

  11. Trendex says:

    EVEN IF YOU ARREST ALL SEXUAL PREDATORS IN MALAWI, PEOPLE ARE ALREADY INFECTED WITH HUNGER AND WILL DIE IN LARGE NUMBERS AS COMPARED TO HIV/AIDS PEOPLE. THE UNFORTUNATE PART OF IT IS THAT HUNGER HAS NO TABLETS. A KACHAMA NANUNSO MUFERA ZA ENI. ANA ANU ALI KUTI? ALI KUNJA MWINA? SHAME NDI MA HONORARY DEGREES KUNGOTHA NDALAMA ZA BOMA. ZA ZIIIIIIIIII BASI. KAGWERENI NDI AMBUYE ANUWO. IYAAAAAH

  12. peter says:

    Of 7 cashgate ‘hynas’ being shielded by the president! Tough talk from the wise one from the east!

  13. Chopwicho says:

    The president has stopped thinking: instead of arresting the cashgaters, he is busy arresting a hyna..Really? a bonya like him? Just to divert the really ressing issues…Shame

  14. Mgonapamhanya says:

    Your article is not too long yet not captivating, how do you expect me to read all of it? I and a lot more Malawians don’t have such kind of time.

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