Dzuka Malawi: How to spot an illuminati, ndondocha-thinline between witches and Christians

There is a thin-line between being a Christian and a witch. The levels of superstition in Christians of today borders on superstition or witchcraft. They carry anointing this, special handkerchiefs and we have heard of fake profits oops Prophets raping women simply to exorcize them of their demons.Dzuka Malawi

The script of modern day preachers is not far from what we read in Police Magazine of yesterday. A sing’anga of elsewhere raping and stealing from poor superstitious people. If your Bishop, Pastor or Prophet spends time on creating superstition and fear of demonic world, not preaching salvation, love and forgiveness of sin by our Lord Jesus Christ, he is a witchdoctor-they prey on fear of unknown.

Witch doctors or charlatans as Jesus called them, have made people do the unimaginable. Run naked around your house, drink blood of chicken, sleep at grave yard, sleep with your mother or child and even kill your relation. The embarrassment and the mental trauma injected by such ludicrous prescriptions have seen people go mad, hang themselves or die of shame after nothing happened.

Now, if you were among the people sharing the theory of illuminati over the death of gospel singer Grace Chinga, just go to National Library and read the witchcraft stories in Malawi Police Magazine. If you can’t see the similarity of the stories, you are definitely an illuminati- or simply nfiti ya chizungu. Ufiti ndi Ufiti, wachizungu or called any other name.

That’s why I love Islam doctrine on death. If I die at 10am, by 2pm I will be buried. They accept that for every life it will come to an end. My Christian pretenders drag funerals, add controversies and finally they use to catch “witches” now its some sort of obscure society of Bavarian Illuminati that ended in 1700’s.

There is a thin line between witchcraft, illuminati and nowadays Christianity. In Malawi, only in Malawi if you are rich you are satanic. If you are poor you are a witch who ate all your kids. If you are a Prophet you are satanic, you either turn into a snake or drink blood or oops are illuminati trying to kill everyone. Let’s start from our past.

If you went to a boarding secondary school I am sure you remember among the many things one was expected to see at night, were either ndondocha (don’t read in English), I mean those simply alleged short ghosts that were only met by drunks or people trying to scare you from going to night study. So only two prerequisites were required, be drunk or run away from prep, voila! You are a ndondocha spotter.

The tragic comedy that played itself as we celebrated the life of Grace Chinga is unbelievable. Unbelievable, because the alleged God-Fearing, Witch-burning and porn-sharing Malawians have decided to add another one to their titles- illuminati spotting.

The volume of pages  of social media generated indicate the dangerous amount of idle time we have as a nation. The sad part is that there is very little difference between the educated and the villagers, our love of gossip and superstition is heading to dangerous level.

Tell me what is the difference between those villagers in Neno suspecting death by lightening to have been caused by those poor old people and killing them, and people from the commercial city of Blantyre and online sharing alleged cause of death by Late Grace Chinga as somehow mysterious and came from an organisation called illuminati.

Suddenly the iProphet who captures and walks in the air is a member of the occult and out of all the millions of musicians, Facebook and other social media attacks, he wanted to take someone for a song they did in January. See how pathetic educated graduates from University of Malawi writing on social media “somehow after listening to Ndiulura something is in this song.” Dude that song, for people that really followed her music came out in January not after she died. Between January and now where were you?

The most dangerous cap of it all is that just like those mob justice meters of Nsanje, we had a very rowdy crowd at Robins Park, some singing anti-iProphet songs, others refusing to hear messages from the Music Association, while others went to hear who between Peter Mutharika, Joyce Banda, Bakili Muluzi and Lazarus Chakwera had put enough money for the funeral.

The disregard of the pain and suffering of Chinga’s son and daughter and mother and her dignity at the last mile indicated that hypocrites, yes, hypocrites we are. We are more of those that killed her last memory by creating our fantasies for ndondocha or illuminati.

The problem as I said, too much idle time, too much social media and too much superstition. In Malawi when I die, everyone wants to have a scapegoat. Even the Pastors who preach every day, they will still tell you about something.

So from Neno and Nsanje murders,  we have upgraded our witch hunting skills to include successful Malawians and Prophets. This is a national shame and tragedy. Unfortunately our children will start believing our stupidity and gullibility.

To the end, everyone who becomes successful in our eyes is a “nfiti”. Forget the sugar coating English words like satanic or illuminati. Lets call it the way we know it from our society. “Adakhwimira”. Amamwa magazi, amafuna ampatse mimba mwamwa tsenga or ndalama zawo zachitaka.” We all come from communities so jealous of rich people and we used to brand them “okhwima.”

Up to this day many areas have no maize mills simply because if I invest in one, my relation dies days later, definitely I have put him or her there. Forget how sickly or weak they were. Shame.

Unfortunately, there is very little difference between our fore fathers in Nyasaland in 1900 who called rich people okhwimira  or ali ndi sendamwana,  imamwa magazi or njoka imayamwa maliseke akazi awo to 2016 generation believing in “blood draining, mysterious pregnant and mysterious money” illimunati.

Dzuka Malawi, don’t be stupid enough to live in 1700 in 2016. Only death comes after birth. We will all die, I would rather prepare for my departure than fantasise with witchcraft- eeetue eeh, kaya wachikuda kaya wachizungu.

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Silly, naive, ignorant people, secret societies have ruled even in Jesus times.
You have secret dark societies in malawi. In business making connections.
They rule us,uk, and the whole world is almost under their rule.
Only two roads leading to God or Devil.

A Gonapamhanya u guessed rightly that this writer went thru university corridors.
That’s y it seems somehow difficult to understand him.
He could b a big time practicing philosopher.
Cummon, digest his core objective – a thin line btwin illuminat / satanism on one hand & kukhwima / ufiti on the other.
They are all satanic practices.
Where d’u belong urself?
The writer ends by saying he would rather commit his life into preparing for his death than bubble about others.
In the end God iz the Judge of everything.

I am tempted to believe that the author of this shallow write-up has some kind of university education. If I am correct on that one then it is very shocking to have someone who went thru university and has no clue of the existence of secret societies in the world such as Illuminati. A good number of secret societies’ members have and keep on coming in the open about their membership. The author has also goofed big time to suggest that to Malawians every rich man is a witch. That is ridiculous. Mr Khondowe of Kangombe Building in Lilongwe is… Read more »
cheng woo

and what’s your point …you seem to have no basic knowledge of what you are saying


Writer of this article , go and research on the Illuminati and its operatives..your knowledge is to shallow about this dark world…when you do that, come and write something sensible..what you have written here is absolute nosense..and you call it Dzuka Malawi???


Uzayakhula mopusa,zikazachitika kwa iwe


Can somebody plz summarize the article, I do not have idle time to read all of it!

Thitherward 'wendo
Over the past 400 years or so, people have been repeating Francis Bacon’s aphorism: ‘Knowledge is power’. However, it is worth noting that power can also be gained by manipulating other peoples’ ignorance. When people are denied access to the usual political, social and economic power structures, they will adopt and develop alternative structures, such as those provided by religious and traditional belief systems. That people do this is not so much a symptom of our stupidity as of the frustration we feel because we are denied access to other power structures by those powerful people who control them, and… Read more »
Kunayeneratu choipacho kudza kwa inu koma tsoka ochibweretsayo I do indeed believe about witchcraft’s existance but Iam not a witch and that theres satanism but not a satanist also that theres a group called illuminat but neither am I a member These foolish assumptions are full of wisdom to the wise but are a total nonsense to the fools because God uses the foolishness of the world inorder to shame the intelligent of the world You article is one of those so many called intelligent of the world and you are wrong Lastly dont forget that kunayenera choipa kudza kwa… Read more »

mulungu ndiwamkulu azaweluza sikale ndithu

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