Unidentified literary genre takes the Facebook (Malawi) by storm. What is it really and who is behind it. Nyasa Times’ Akuwulane Mwanache explores.
READ THIS! It is a posting updating a timeline of a subscriber on the Facebook to mark the Breast Cancer Day.
“Breast cancer weak, I write these for everyone. breast cancer is disease that die many woman guys in this underground world and Malawi too.I get education at Bilira that cancer have no medicine.even when is like these,when breast cancer can be notice in good time it has medicine. So woman reading these you has to look at breast today, tomorrow, another day, another week, daily to see if there is some change in breast.
Marriage man you help your woman too.when breast are touch by hands danger of breast cancer is reduce.so marriage man touch breast of your woman okay. I say touch not squeeze.
Woman you can reduce danger of breast cancer again by breast feed baby for 2 years as baby will touch and touch breast okay.
Another thing,I know some woman smoke cigarette,another woman apologise themselves with beer.it is cool but beer,smoke add danger of breast cancer so you will stop it do you good.
You see I know many woman read this has houseboy who do every job around house,but this cannot be enough because of not doing some of the job.because if you are physically active in jobs at home,you subtract danger of breast cancer.
Something stop my head my head guys.breast are good thing on woman body.of all areas of cancer could attack, why breast.”
The message, in this posting on the Facebook, claims to commemorate the Breast Cancer Day in Malawi. With full of tips to women and their husbands alike to reduce breast cancer, the author wonders why of all organs on human body why cancer has to attack the breast.
Such verses have catapulted the author, a subscriber on the social media, the Facebook, to an overnight celebrity writer. The sophisms, in the calculated apparently failed attempt to write in fluent English, send the readers in pained helplessness with laughter. Love or hate the verses; the author is the darling of the subscribers who include a fair share of the literati now. He goes by the name of Wonderfold Bengo.
Who is Wonderfold Bengo? No one really knows. But what is true is that this is a pen-name, nom de plume as the literati would say.
Bengo seems to have been born and raised in Ntcheu and claims to have attended Bilira Correspondence School. He claims he lives in Ntcheu and is self-employed. The profile picture appended there reminds you of typical faces you see as you drive by the M1 in Ntcheu District.
It seems the author had carefully planned his project. He has two other two pages on the Facebook on Wonderfold Bengo, one on “like this page” and the other the “Friends of Wonderfold Bengo”, enjoy a growing following in several hundreds and counting.
A literal idiot village would not stage his take-off this purposeful and meticulous. Bilira was one of the favourite schools among the second-class distance learning schools in Malawi in the 70s, 80s and 90s. It has produced a lot of notable people in high places in the country. These are people who defied all odds, subjected to subsisting on insufficient teaching and learning equipment to make it into university colleges or other tertiary institutions.
“I must confess the cartoonism in the verses is just superb. He is struck a chord with me. He’s won me with his caricature in the axe-murdering of the Queen’s language as well as the logic of Plato and Aristotle” Vynn Phiri commented on hid Facebook timeline.
In the lump sum, Bengo is the one village idiot that has got it right. The literati can only admire his sophistry and ungainliness in grammar.Follow and Subscribe Nyasa TV :