Bishop Sitima gives tips to enjoying married life

A lot of the problems that couples face can be fixed if both people can just change the things that they focus on in their marriage, His Grace Bishop Montfort Stima of Mangochi Diocese of the Roman Catholic Church has said.

Bishop Stima: Torelance is key

Bishop Stima: Torelance is key

Bishop Sitima said this when he led 30th anniversary celebrations of a christian movement, Worldwide Marriage Encounter-Malawi of the Catholic church.

“Instead of focusing on what your partner does that annoys you, remind yourself of the things that you enjoy about him or her. So many people look for negatives even when surrounded by positives,” observed Sitima.

He also said marriage is a basic foundation of any society that requires tolerance and understanding.

“Always remember that what God has joined together, no human being must separate,” he emphasized, adding that couples should be taking time to appreciate each other.

On his part, Mayor for Blantyre City, Noel Chalamanda, who was the guest of honour, said the sacrament of marriage is of great importance to the church and the society for it is through this sacrament that families are built and are leaven to society.

He also said marriage is still necessary in today’s modern society and best form of unit for bringing up children.

“We cannot talk of a church and society without families.  The church is there because of families, as such our lives should be in tandem with the scriptures,” said Chalamanda.

The Christian movement has existed in the country for the last 30 years and it is aimed at giving spouses the opportunity to examine their life together and help them refresh and renew their marriage and take their marriage to an even deeper and more satisfying level.

It also focus on the development of an open and honest relationship within marriage, and learning to live out a sacramental relationship in the service of others.

In Malawi, the Worldwide Marriage Encounter Movement came in 1985 through the instrumentality of His Lordship, the late Bishop Matthias Chimole, who sponsored some couples and priests to do their first Original Weekend in Zambia, and came back to start it in Lilongwe, the same year,1985.

Under the late Bishop Chiona’s patronage the movement was introduced to Blantyre, southern region in 1992 and Mzuzu in 1990.

The Movement is open to couples in stable family relationship, Catholic priests, sisters and brothers, and Christian couples from other churches.

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37 thoughts on “Bishop Sitima gives tips to enjoying married life”

  1. Jimbo says:

    If marriage is such a wonderful institution, why is the Bishop not married? The Catholic Church should allow its priests and bishops to marry so that they can give a good example of what marriage should be. A celibate priest/bishop can only theorise about marriage; he is preaching from a vacuum, he is not of the real world.

  2. Boma says:

    Advisers do no need to have experience but analytical minds. Why do politicians go to the church for advice as if the PAC members have been politicians before? Oftentimes a person who is outside the problem can see better than the one who is involved in the problem. If a married person advises another, it will be from his experience and bad experience negatively can influence your outlook. A divorced woman will not side with a cheating husband unless if she has bad intentions against the fellow woman.

  3. Mr Khombe says:

    Iwe TT, ndiwe wopusa kwambiri, ndiwe chitsiru chofunika operation ya m’mutu kuti udziganiza molongosoka, ndiwe ndani iwe? Ngati watumidwa angokunyozetsa chifukwa akuyankhulawa ndi anthu a nzeru zawo. Umfiti eti? Kudana ndi chilichonse chabwino bwanji?

  4. kwakawale says:

    Only God knows.

  5. Mirella K says:

    Akatolika ndie mwajijilikatu…Defending what you shouldn’t even defend at all! Honestly speaking it is silly on your part too to argue kuti the bishop is knowledgeable about marriages simply because he grew in a family! Very silly! Accept that what he has advised are nothing but theories he has memorized when he was at school and what he has heard in radios and read from books n newspapers. He has NO experience on it (serve for…….) and he is not morally justified to sound so angelic on a social issue he has despised in life!

  6. Iwe Mai Mai ndi mbuli zizako zonse ndi agalu. Or mutayankhula zoipa zotani za church chakatolika simungathe kuchiphwasura ndipo chikulira kulira dziko lonse lapansi ndipo Yesu mwini wake ndiye founder. Ona encyclopedia ya katolika pa internate. Ndipo ndi mpingo okhawo umene umakhala serious pa nkhani ya banja ndipo siunyengera kuti aaa timanga ukwati wachiwiri. Maziko abanja agona kukatolika , usiye abishop alankhule kwa mpingo.Iwe ngati siukonda mpongowo nkhala sitipakampeni Ife akatolika.ndipo ndati siulitha mpang’ono pomwe or utatemetsa nkhwangwa pa mwala. Utaya nthawi yako pachabe. Halve yanthu padziko lapasi la mkatolika. Bravo a Bishop. Wakula ekelezia wakula. Mai Mai ndi azako kakolopeni lake Malawi.

  7. TT says:

    A Catholic priest giving tips on how to enjoy married life, sounds silly. It’s like a virgin giving sex tips. What the hell does he know about marriage?

  8. Tina says:

    Wa BBC
    Stupid iweyoo, ndiponso idiot. Catholic Priest and so as other Church Elders. You think they go to school to read Bible. Your comment already they know how goat you are in the head because they have studied all about Vocations in life and your goat head. They are equipped with all answers of marriage and any work you name it. So don’t write because you can. Sleep now

  9. Zagwa says:

    Good call Bishop. I only hope you have the means to read my comment about the attitude in the Catholic Church of turning a blind eye to sins detailed in the Holy Bible. This is contributing a lot to marriages breaking in my view. It is now common to see separated or divorced congregants not being helped through biblical teaching and continuing to live in sin in the Catholic Church these days. Similar misconduct is not tolerated in other reputable churches including ku Chisilamu. And Please discipline your clergy. It is embarrassing for a Catholic priest to be apprehended by the Police as a rogue/vagabond with a woman.

  10. Mnzwanya says:

    Enanu mungoonetsa umbuli wanu when you say an unmarried Bishop can not give advice on marriage! Do you think ku ma Theological College amangophunzitsa Bible basi? It’s better to shut up if you don’t have anything to comment!!

  11. Magaseni says:

    Guys, koma ndiye chikhalidwedi chinatha pa Malawi, inu ngati malangizowo mukuona kuti ndiopanda pake khalani pheee ndibwino osakomenta, ngati mukufuna a munthu okwatira awa asiyeni apite dikirani a munthu okwatira. komanso samauza inuyo ai, inu akuuzani ndi a Nyasatimes ndiye next time muzaauze a Nyasa wo kuti muziika malangizo a munthu okwatira.komanso kodi chibaluwacho amachita kuuzidwa kuti pano lembani? amadziwatu okha kapena munaachita kuwauza poyamba paja?

  12. redeemed says:

    Marriage is a life journey and not a destiny. Therefore one needs to perpetuate the sparkle. The biggest mistake married couples tend to make is to envy that of others without realizing that better is the devil you know. When ever my hubby utters something I do not like, I prefer to pretend as if I heard not.

  13. Wa BB says:

    Apa nde kulakwitsa siyani za maukwatizi kwa iwo analilawa banja. Tizibwenzi mumapangato sitikufanana ndi ukwati. Ine palibe ndingamvere kwa munthu woti sanakwatilepo SHUPIT!!!

    1. I believe that being apologetic wont help anybody but you seem to be biased. Priests come from families and you might be a vacuum. May be u are a form 4 duddy! But learn to respect. Child of a bitch

  14. Mlauzi says:

    One does not have to be a mechanic to be an engineer. Marriage has its foundations in the bible. Read Genesis, Matthew, Luke. Proverbs, etc. These books were not always written by married men, yet the authors were able to competently comment about the institution of marriage.

    Through their training in Philosophy, Sociology, Psychology, Theology etc. priests, bishops and other elders are competent to guide Christian marriages. We are not talking about ma ukwati achikunja here, we are talking about marriages blessed through the sacrament of holy matrimony.

  15. Kharupa says:

    Banja amamanga ndi mamuna. Women have too much problems such that if the husband is not strong and perseverant enough, the family can not stand. A woman only knows about herself and her relatives, leaving the husband a wounded soldier in this family business thing. Are you not surprised that all property is owned by women cos amuna awo anafa kalekaaale? Do you think men die early because they are all careless?

  16. MaiMai says:

    I agree with the rest that this Bishop is giving advice on something he doesn’t even know. You can’t advise someone if you have no idea about something. Why don’t you advise your fellow bachelors to stop womanising? At least we can listen to you on this NOT marriage issues just SHUT UP! Dirty church like Catholic? ?? Eiiiiish!

  17. wiveee says:

    anyapapi inu, mukutsutsa chilichonse!whats wrong with the Bishops advice? mmene timabanja tanu tikuthela.

  18. RSA commentetor Mac says:

    U can’t read a letter before u experience v former.mabishop alerowo. Amufunse kambalazaza.

  19. aishoshe says:

    how can a bishop give marital tips when he has never been married before?kapena mukukamba zomwe munawerenga a bishop?hahahahahahaha

  20. Vincent a Prophet in the making says:

    There are several letters written by apostles in the Bible teaching about marriage and yet the apostles and Jesus himself were not married and yet we don’t attack their teachings. Those who are faulting the Bishop for his piece of advice are not catholics and do not fully understand the sanctity of marriage. You are used to hearing false teachings which are not based on scriptures
    2Timothy 4 v 3 the bible says: for the time is coming when people will not endure sound teaching, but having itching ears they will accumulate to themselves teachers to suit their own passions.

    Brethren, the Bishops will not give you supernatural marriege books captured in the spirit for you to listen to them but will give you the inspired word of God.
    Paul the apostle was not married and yet in Hebrews 13v 4 he is saying ” Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous”
    Now tell me why don’t you attack the teachings of men of God in New Testament who did not test a married life?
    Let those with ears hear.

  21. Only the Truth says:

    One does not need to be married to offer advice to married couples. Jesus never married but his teachings touched on marriage, and even divorce, several times. Apostle Paul never married but he offered various pieces of advice to married people: Children, obey your parents; husbands, love your wives; wives, obey your husbands. He even went further and offered advice on sexual relationship among married couples; 1 Corinthians 7: 3-5.

  22. ENOCH says:

    ndipotu nzovuta kulolera munthu osakwatira kumakudalitsira ukwati chifukwa sadziwa kuti banja ndi chani, ine nkudabwa kodi nzeru za ukwati zikuchokera kuti?

  23. Noxy says:

    Other comments please don’t despise our Bishops they give guidance to our beloved Catholic Church and are Holy in nature.

  24. Vizara says:

    True marriage encounters do reach the finishing line but fake ones/pretenders never finish even the first lap. Put God’s Love first not material Love. Be faithful to your partner and respect the sanctity of the sacrament of marriage. How I wish I was Catholic! I envy you guys on this marriage encounter thing.

  25. Nedi says:

    Anaziwa kale kuti azayang’ana Munthu amene akupereka uthenga, osati uthengawo. Friends, this is how they conduct business in the Catholic Church. It is their practice. In fact, before the Bishop gave his word, he must have began with the celebration of the Eucharist. For some it is enough to say”Misa”. The bishop grew up in a marriage unit. He saw his mother and father grow as human beings in LOVE. Yes, he studied it too. The Catholic Church requires that their ministers should not marry. They should be celibate. This gives them time to give selves time for their work etc. So, that is the discipline and tradition of the Roman Catholic Church. Those who are married are advised by the unmarried. Full stop! It is a choice to be a Catholic priest and what they call a “vocation…calling”, it is a choice to be a married person and yet another choice to belong to the Catholic Church. Therefore, do not mix up issues, bwanas and donas!

  26. Kalungusese says:

    More teachings from Jesus in the Bible. Was he married?

  27. c ngoleka says:

    Munalawa za nchere kapena ankuuzani angaliba KIKIKI

  28. matako a pusi says:

    I.m waiting for a pastoral letter ituluka liti kodi there are so many social economic political and cultural injustices lucius banda waimbapo now catholics tikuti bwanji ndikufuna ka pastoral letter kachanguchangu abale like the revolutionary one in 1992 (3,4)

  29. philosopher says:

    It’s quite funny to see a bishop giving marital advice to married couples when he himself has never been married.

  30. philosopher says:

    It’s quite funny to see a bishop giving advice to married couples when he himself has never been married.

  31. Tili Chenene says:

    Poti makutu amamva zili zonse. Experience is a good teacher especially on issues of marriage

  32. Patriot says:

    Kodi nanunso mwangoti ziiiii.
    Akudyetsani chi banzi?
    Kalata yanu yozuzula mtsogoleri wolepherayu ilikuti?

  33. nam'bwibwi says:

    Ya kumafunika kupilila ndi kudzipeleka chifukwa nthawi zina kuyesetsa kumusangalatsa nzako komano nzako osakuona kuyesetsa kwako. Amadzangokuna ukangosuntha pang’ono.

  34. Vwapuvwapu says:

    A Bishop mukazi mumamziwa inu? Bwanji mukuyankhula zam’banja ngati munakwatila. Where do you practice this theory. Bwino tu bwino. Kkkkkk ngati za m’buku ok.

  35. Kamganje Mchiduli says:

    Has he ever tested married life himself, or his tips are just hearsays?

  36. Mbolo Sidwala says:

    mmh! A bishop giving tips about marriage? Zamkutu basi! Zikanakhala zomveka zikanachokera kwa munthu wokwatira, koma apa, mmmh, ndakayika. Zimafunika anthu woti ndiwokwatira izi (ngati a Chalamandawo) chifukwa ali ndi experience, malangizo anuwo ndi a m’bukhu (theory). What happens on the ground and theory are totally different.

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