Off the wall of Charles Simango: CDH Investment Bank

Nyasa Times is introducing a new column called ‘Off the Wall Of …’  We will be taking a Malawi Facebook Post of the Day and republish on Nyasa Times. This article is reposted with permission from the Facebook wall of the author.

I called CDH Investment Bank, Lilongwe, this morning, to inquire about a certain, unique facility they have. I clearly explained to the operator that I needed to talk to someone who is familiar with all the products and services – in other words, someone who can sale CDH Investment Bank to me.

Reserve Bank of Malawi governor Charles Chuka shakes hands with CDH Investment bank board chair Franklin Kennedy

Reserve Bank of Malawi governor Charles Chuka shakes hands with CDH Investment bank board chair Franklin Kennedy

In his wisdom, the operator decided to transfer me to, of all places, the inquiries desk, where a lady responded with a very unconvincing ‘hullo’, did not give her name, let alone ask me ‘how can I help you today’.

I asked her if she was sure she was the right person to sell CDH to me and she said she would try or else she would take my details and arrange for a meeting. Then, as expected, she put me on hold, and went on to attend to someone who wanted two copies of something, ‘one for us and one for you’.

She then came back online, hulloed me once and – cut the line. And now I have to start looking for another bank with that particular type of product because, now, I know, that if they cannot smell a sell and run after it with all they have, how much less attention will they give me once they get my money?

I may not be worth millions, let alone a million, but every inquiry in a business needs to be handled with extra attention by professional customer acquisition personnel because every inquiry is a potential customer, and who knows, he may be that one customer who brings you 80% of your revenue.

I may not be that person today, or ever, and that is fine with me. BUT do not dare calling me when you start seeing my embarrassing blessings on this wall! You are just starting and already you are behaving like National Bank of Malawi where the sole purpose of the bank is to treat bank customers as mere statistics and nothing more.

The only time you get good service, there, is when you are assisted by someone you know or someone who knows you. Nanji ukakumana ndi customer service officer wa chikazi, amayo, you are dead in the water. Umangosuzumila ndi kubwelera. Amakhala nthawi zonse ali ndungundu, kuoneka okwiya, kwinaku akumanamizira kukhala busy. (worse still when you come across a female customer services officer, just know you are dead in the water. You just peep and turn back. They are wearing angry faces all the time, pretending to be busy) I thought you are supposed to be busy with me?

I cry for the days of Patricia Mwase (she was Nee Dinala , at that time, I think) when she was serving ar Chichiri Branch and Mercy Chibwana who was then at Haile Selassie Branch. I remember, people actually used to refuse to be assisted by anyone, preferring Mercy even when the other officers were free. We were like, ‘no, I will wait for her, its personal’.

Anyway, I digress, this was about CDH. I think Esau and team have a fantastic vision as far as investment banking in Malawi is concerned. I have a lot of respect for people who are onto something new and Esau and his team make me proud.

Unfortunately, if what I encountered today is a representation of how their sales funnel works, then I am very disappointed. So for now, just know that when mdalitso wanga wonyazitsa (my embarrassing blessing) arrives and you send your officers to come sell me CDH services I will turn you down, and I will say unto you: I came knocking and you did not open. I will then proceed to toss your officers through the window of MY posh office which will be located on the 21ST FLOOR of MY towering office complex (yeah, how about that for a very tall blessing? Never limit your vision, people!). Until then, cry my beloved country. Eish!

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National bank is another boring bank too old people with very little technology and not ready to learn. THe forex dept. Manager is also a disgrace at Mzuzu branch . I had a trip to south africa and i applied for forex . He said I should wait for two weeks. I ask why?.he couldn’t give an answer. Put appropriate people with good customer service


Very mature and pertinent article, written by a very mature and “relevant” author . Is this a sign of “things to come” on Nyasatimes? We are tired of reading shallow and pointless articles on this forum . By the way, charles umatichotsa manyazi ife ma contemporaries ako apa Chanco . Keep up the good work my brother .


Of banks and customer care, There’s a lady secretary at Indebank headquarters kaya ndi was CEO kaya but she seats close to their boardroom, I have never seen rudeness the way this lady behaves, she could not even assist the senior managers that I was meeting, in-fact I got an impression that they all feared her and yet she is only a secretary! …kaya mwina abwana amadya mmenemo kaya koma noooo the lady is rude!

Invisible Hand of Adam Smith

Or banks are a shame despite having among the highest interest rates and service charges in the region. When treating customers its like they are doing you a favor otherwise they expect customers to plead for a service which in turn benefits them more than us customers, what a shame!

In Malawi long queues are a measure of business success not transaction volumes per day. They enjoy when they see those queues. They feel important and relevant. Unfortunately, this has given room for corruption (bribes) at offices such as Road Traffic, Immigration, DCs, Admarc, MRA, etc. They like to maintain it that way yet there are so many modern solutions to deal with these inefficiencies. On the other hand it is ourselves sometimes to blame. We tolerate mediocrity. We give them the impression that we are there to beg. Call a spade a spade and shout at these bastards. They… Read more »

Mwaiwala ma Insurance mabwana. One day i was told to close my policy by one Bwana at NICo in Mzuzu just because she could not explain some other issues ikakhala PRIME ndiye mwanu wokhawokha. Musayesere dala kugula mapolicy Ku NICO ndi anthu amwano zedi makaka ku mzuzu kuno sayankha phone nkhope zawo nthawi zonse ndi ndwiiiiiiiiiii ngati afiti


Mwaiwala ma Insurance mabwana. One ay i was told to close my account by one Bwana at NICo in Mzuzu just because she could not explain some other issues ikakhala PRIME ndiye mwanu wokhawokha. Musayesere dala kugula mapolicy Ku NICO ndi anthu amwano zedi makaka ku mzuzu kuno sayankha phone nkhope zawo nthawi zonse ndi ndwiiiiiiiiiii ngati afiti


I agree with Matewere that NBM will only like you when you have money but once you don’t have any they don’t want even to look at you. Imagine they have a special room for what they call platinum customers who are very special because they have money. Their banking is done by special assistants while they enjoy coffee.


Well national bank with their stupid system of numbers where people would just come get the number and sit as if they are waiting for service while they are observing who is cashing big money and they will then send text to their friend outside giving your description and once you are out those outside will trail you until they rob you.


Female tellers are a disgrace. Banks now employ more female tellers in a way of fashion. They are a headache to most customers. I will never forgive a “waiter” at NedBank Chichiri Shoprite. The lady behaves as if you are bothering her when u ask her qtions. Although its my branch I prefer Nedbank Bt branch. If she is still there she is doing a disservice to the bank

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