Malawi courts to handle sex-withholding cases

Malawi courts will start hearing cases of sexual denial in marriage whereby husbands or wives,  who have been victims of sex intimacy denial from their marriage homes will now have opportunity to seek legal remedies.

Justice Kamanga : Chairperson of Law

Justice Kamanga : Chairperson of  the  special law commission

In Malawi sex-withholding is so widespread arising from family disputes.

A special law commission has recommended to government that victims of sex-refusal in marriage should seek legal redress.

Delivering a report by the Special law commission on technical review of Prevention of Domestic Violence Act (PDVA) , Chairperson of the commission, High Court Judge Ivy Kamanga said prior to enactment of PVDA, the only redress for victims of domestic violence was through the mechanism of criminal law especially offences provided for under the penal code.

Justice Kamanga said  when she shared the findings and recommendations at Sunbird Capital in Lilongwe on Friday  that the penal code was inadequate because criminal law as provided for under the penal code could only be invoked where domestic violence resulted into serious physical injury to the victim.

In the commission’s report, the definition of domestic violence has been reviewed.

The newly recommended definition of domestic violence  has been devised as engaging of  economic, emotional, financial, physical and sexual abuse.

“We feel that we have tried our best to ensure that the law which was there and was having some challenges in implementation has been simplified so that each and every person can use it to reduce on issues of domestic violence in our society,” said Kamanga.

Law experts argue that withholding sex in marriage relationship is “emotional abuse.”

“ Sex is the glue which holds a relationship/marriage together. It is supposed to be the one thing which separates a couple from just being friends or just being roommates.

“Denying one’s partner sex and sexual intimacy is abuse because it makes their partner feel unwanted, undesired, unworthy, unattractive, unhappy and unfulfilled,” observed one lawyer after reading the Law Commission report.

Sexless marriage truly sucks.  The emotional abuse truly hurts.

The new report also recommend that a person can seek court redress if a partner is making persistent phone calls or following the wife or husband at working place.

Some of the members in the commission include; Mr Chrispine Sibande, Joseph Kazima from Ministry of Gender, Disability and child development, Ms Getrude Hiwa S.C, from Law Commission, Ms Fiona Kalemba from the Ministry of Justice, Tinyade Kachika from Civil Society.

The findings and recommendations will soon be presented to Minister of Justice and Constitutional Affairs Samuel Tembenu who, in turn, will present them to Cabinet for discussions and possible amendment law

Nyasa Times will give full details regarding the report on new recommendations in subsequent versions.

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43 thoughts on “Malawi courts to handle sex-withholding cases”

  1. DNA Test says:

    What about a wife that gets impregnated by someone (outside marriage), gives birth, husband and wife raise the child and later through DNA test he discovers its not his?

  2. Kholowa mkabudula says:

    Ndimafeteleza tikudyawa mkuthiranso ngati umuna okhathamila ngati kale? Mavuto tilimawo ndithu,naye gondolosi watha mnthengomu. Tingopewa kukwatila it’s not easy men! Kale timasya utukutu wachimanga nde umati ukakwela kamodzi mkazi amaumva kununkhila mphunomo umuna,akatero ndi timasiku ndithu asakukufunanso, lero ayi ndithi madzi awotabodi enieni. Boma litiganizele mwina kuyambisa uli wagondolosi kuti mabanja alimbe!

  3. levelheaded says:

    Penatu azimayiwa amakana pachiwone. Kulitu abambo oti akakadawira ndimpakana mbembembe. Mkazi kumakanika kuthirako madzi posamba kuli tsoo kuwawa.

  4. george says:

    am happy now bcoz domestic violence caused by sex denial will reduced

  5. zebron henry banda says:

    People should be taught what defines marriiage and what is in it ,ie,Terms and conditions governing such.It is only after such will people know they are entering a legal agreement that might come to bite them if conditions ain’t adhered to.

  6. guguh says:

    Legal remedy to an emotional and psychological issue???. Doubtful there will be fair resolutions.

    I have learnt from experience that sex is all about the mind. If it’s not in it then zimavuta.

    Also, COMMUNICATION!!! It’s important to be a friend to your partner so that it’s easy to discuss these things. But if there is just the husband/ wife situation without the friendship part then mavuto ndithu. If there’s enough communication on the onset and something changes along the way you can address it. But as someone already said… Kufera ma title and marrying for the wrong reasons or staying for the wrong reasons . Nzimenezi mukufuna khoti imupangitse munthu kutota

    @ntata

    Iwe nde wanena zoona

  7. redeemed says:

    In as much as I feel inclined to the topic, may I also shade some lights on other fundamental issues that seem to be undermined but have a strong effect in the marital affair. Apparently a vast majority of people enter into marriage for all the selfish reasons. People need to know that a beautiful woman or a handsome guy is not necessarily those a perfect candidate for marriage material. Some people are women are just suitable for exclusively dating. I also feel that people tend to neglect the ultimate Motive for entering into the union. A daunting question how ever is why do people enter into something they aren’t prepared to adhere to it’s key rules? For example you know you are a complete flop in bed? Why waste time and energy of your poor spouse when you aren’t committed to a healthy marriage? Believe me or not but some married people out there don’t deserve a husband or a wife title. In conclusion if you can’t stand the heat then get out of the kitchen and leave those who know their way around the pot do their thing
    It is undisputed fact that a large number of Malawian men are poor in bed activities but too proud to seek help and in the end poor daughters of men suffer in silence.

  8. Mac Hende says:

    Izi ndiye zopoila khoti likhala chida chosokonezera mabanja komanso chozunzira azibambo.

  9. Mbuya says:

    Mkazi apelekere basi dats her responsibility kugona pansi akunyekhulira mwamuna ali pamwamba kkkkk

  10. Mungete says:

    Muzikambirana zimenezi in an open court. Mkazi: ‘mwamunayu akhala akusandikwera chaka chonsechi’. Mwamuna: ‘akunama. Ndimamkwera daily’. Who will provide evidence to prove the one speaking the truth? Will there be evidence? Can our health delivery services provide evidence if there is consummation in a particular couple?

  11. Nyeks says:

    Basi ulendo pa khothi “sakundichindatu ine/akana kunchindatu”atayambe kukuchinda ndi oweruza omwewo.Mmalo moweruza a Cashgate tidzinva za nyerezo ife.OYALUKA KALE APANGE ZIMENEZO.NDI ANA OMWE KUDZIWA KUTI AMAYI AKANA KUCHINDIDWA.zausili eti.

  12. Mungete says:

    Am coming again. Malawi courts, lawyers, human rights defenders leave the marriage institution alone. Simungazikwanise. Ukwati unalipo malamulo aziko lapansi kulibe. Do not appear intelligent coz u studied some law. Ukwati ndichikhalidwe. Nchifukwa chake osauka ndi “opanda” nzeru ali ndi mabanja olongosoka koposa ma Lawyer nu

  13. Mungete says:

    Trying to regulate love and sex? Waste of time. Let them go back to who sanctioned the marriage: makolo, ankhoswe, mpingo. Lack of interest in sex from your husband/ wife/ partner is a big sign of underlying problems

  14. Koma yes, apa ndiye zafikapo, kulibwino to be a bachelor. Inu amene simunakwatire think twice, mavutotu awa

  15. Man says:

    Tamva nawo !

  16. kellyKMK says:

    Good idea.We shall meet in court.It becomes too much for us women begging for sex as if its got a price tag on it in these marriages.Yet u fellas are busy getting serviced out there.eish!

  17. nachisale says:

    STUPID proposal and I can’t believe Tinyade, Fiona Kalemba and Gertrude Hiwa could be part of such a proposal that is going to victimise women. At the moment men still control sexual life in marriage as well as affairs and to suggest that sex should not be denied (if one does not want to have sex) is simply going against the freedom and liberties of especially women. The reasons why a woman might deny their husband sex range from fearing to catch HIV or STDs because the man is going out with other partners and as the woman is waiting for divorce she does not want to be infected; monthly period and after birth (there are cruel men who still want to have sex when a woman has a wound and stitches after child-birth) ; stress is another problem that make women not want to have sex. I find it appalling that women who are actually lawyers and gender activists can even dare suggest such repressive proposal/legislation. It seems men using some misguided women who are enslaved under our patriarchal culture are trying to nullify and negate the strides that the marriage bill has made. Let women and gender activists speak out against this stupid proposal from these women who pretend to be working for the good of women and society but actually they are naïve and bigoted. They want to take us back to the dark ages. We need to be moving forward instead of allowing patriarchy to be entrenched through liberal laws which are enshrined in our democratic constitution.

  18. ntata says:

    Practical thought: A husband is supposed to make his wife’s panties wet, not her eyes. A wife is supposed to make her husband’s dick hard, not his life..! There is a formula

  19. mahope mahope says:

    Koma mkazi akamakana amaziputira masoka. Mwamuna amakatenga zimatenda uko ndikufaka zazo. Ndiposo ndalama pakhomo siiwonaka mwamuna amathera zibwenzi to satisfy his desires pakhomo ana kumangokhalira beans mwamuna akunya nyuma sausage mpunga mang’ina ndi zibwenzi ndipo mipando ya mgalimoto kuchinda kung’ambika ndikukweza mahule pamene mkazi wokanayo wosakweramo

    Ndiponso mwamuna akamenya mkazi oro kumdula manja akhoti azifufuza chachitika ndi chani nthawi zambiri zimakhala kuti mkayo amakuna ku bed

  20. Foreman says:

    Mkazi akangoyamba kunyengetsa kwina sasowa. Akangochindidwa ndi wina basi chikoka pa mwamuna wake chimatheratu and amayamba kukana ngakhale kugona atavula pamene mwamuna ngakhale atachinda kunja amafikiranso kutikita katundu wa panyumba mwakathithi. Mkazi sachedwa kukopeka ndi chibwenzi and can do everything chomwe wauzidwa ndi chibwenzi even kupha mwamuna wake chifukwa chofuna zanyuwani osaganizira kuti within a year azakhala watopa nazonso nkumafuna zakale zija. Nthawi zonse amaganiza za Divorce and sachita manyazi posuma milandu pa khoti. Amachita regret later ataziyalutsa kale…kuganiza mopelewera mtundu uwu kwambiri.

  21. Zokana sex sizachilendo munthu WA mkazi amakhala ndi stress or zitatani akukanirani sex mosatengera kuti stress yo yavhokera kuti. Ma hormones azimayi amawapangitsa ma mood swings kapena kuti changes zimenezi zimapangitsanso kuti akane. Zizikana nyama zopanda nzeru kulili munthu. Ndi job description ya akhoswe osati a khoti. Ndipo kugona naye mkazi hour iliyonse mpaka kucha kuswera pamwamba ndi pamunda kuti ufuna ndime iyende.

  22. Zambulo says:

    Idiots!!! You think sex is someting mechanical like a switch? You need to adress the underlying problem of sex denial to effectively tackle this issue. Otherwise the courts will end up compounding an otherwise easier issue.

  23. nyankhuleke says:

    refusing ex is the worst domestic violence being experience which trigger other bad habits and activities that bring in diseases in the family, retard development in the family, contribute to suicide cases in the homes, cause unexplained heart attacks . if this affects a husband he may end up being involved in so many bad had habits such drinking, start coming late at home because he sees no reason to go home as he is not welcome in the bedroom as expected of a married man and woman, He may end up having other women friends which under normal circumstances one can not have for example having sex ndi mahule is not something that pleases those indulging in that act. no wonder they a man can not share with pride kuti agona ndi hule. This means he does such things because he is forced to do it after being frustrated at home. This is same to ladies/wives. Wives end up having sex with house boys, charcoal sellers and such degrading personalities because they are deprived of sex in their matrimonial homes.

    unfortunately the perpetrator of such violence in the homes do not realize this. Mzawo akayamba kuyang’ana kwina nagona ndi anth ngati amenewo if discovered such a person is labeled hule, wopanda ulemu osazilemekeza. Osadziwa kuti mzanu wavutika sizinaoneke. Uwona ndi hug yemwe kuchita kuyisowa. or kiss amene kuchita kuyiwala kuti paja kiss amamveka bwanji? A slave in your own house. Mzako kukugwila umvekele aaaah osandigwila. Ndiye ufuna akagwile ndani mzakoyo. amuwuzatu wamakala kuti amugwire. kamena hule kuti ndingohaga kapena kiss yokha. kenako wakazitenga zotengatenga. Ichi sichifukwa choti munthuyo samadziletsa ayi koma zikusowa kapena zikuchepa koyenela kuzipezako (ku matrimonial bed room)

  24. Tengupenya says:

    Nanga anthu akatopetsana osafunana mpakana azithetsa banja? Kumananatu kumakhala ndi zifukwa zake. Pakapita nthawi atha kufunananso..

  25. Daniel Phiri says:

    Some women behave moyelekedwa m’mabanjamu, but for men the best advice I ever heard goes as follows “mkazi wapa khomo kumanchinda ngati hule…”

    The advice may seem crude, but it is spot on. I was lucky in that I heard it BEFORE I got married. It saved me a lot of heartache. Going to court is a non-starter: She is your wife, sort her out yourself! No beating, and no marital rape please. Romance her, but when she says “yes” make sure she sees stars – even it means you have to take viagra variants, do it. She must perform her wifely duties to the full. Akapitiliza kuyelekedwa, leave her and marry someone else…

  26. Yamwe ake Chibisa says:

    A Fisi inu banja mungalowetsemo zopusa ngati izi kaqfunseni a gogo agogoanu ngati zotelezi zinaliko kalero, Munthu wa nzeru zake mkaziyo zoonandi ku pita ku mabungwe ndi nkhani ngati izi m’zimaiyo umunthuulimo kapena ai, kuno ndiku Africa za ungaluzanuzo komweko ku ulaya wosati kuno.

  27. Doctor says:

    As an after thought the commission should rather have included into their recommendations passing laws punishing a spouse that deliberately infects the other with HIV purposely

  28. wise says:

    Inumwangosowa zochita kuboma koochepa ckochedwa malawi komamalamlokuchuluka, ukukupangisakuti anthufe tizidana…ngatimwasowachochitammaofesimu ingathandizanipo kuongolaboma positha enconomy sikuyendabino anthutikuzunzika zinthukukwelamitengo sikundisiku inu muli busy kupanga malamlo azigololo.

  29. chatonda says:

    Refusing sex with your partner is encouraging the HIV transmission. Ladies must know this. They will eventually catch the same virus from whoever gets it from outside because someone was stupid refusing sex to the other partner.

  30. Doctor says:

    While the recommendations are noble and probably well intended. The challenge will lay in the burden of Proof of the accuser.

  31. Isaac chagwa mzuzu says:

    I suggest this will fight respect of marriages however, reminds church to arrange more marriage seminars.

  32. Kakha uErutu says:

    Ma loya a pa Nyasaland mwasowa chochita eti?

    Many Malawians are economically and emotionally by the so called ‘foreign direct investors (FDI)’ who come to displace the struggling and resource impoverished Malawians. Foreigners like the Chinese do petty businesses which Should otherwise be done by indigenous Malawians. Amwenye angobela anthu malo mmidzi mu and government is just sitting phwii watching.

    Malawians, why don’t we focus our energies and resources on things that have direct impact on making Malawi competitive globally.

  33. Umbuli ndi matenda says:

    Why are we trying to cure the symptoms not the route cause of the problem. surely one cnt be unwanted out of no where? How do u regulate feelings? what if sukutota? how do u regulate that? What happened to discuss issue kwa akhoswe? Whay should i take my sexual issues to the media? Lastly, how do u regulate love?

  34. becks says:

    Zachibwana basi

  35. The Analyst says:

    To those who are married, ngati mwayambana m’banja n are not talking to each other, let this fight not concern the dick and his friend coz they are innocent n more often than not, still long for, n want to be friends with each other.

    Otherwise since lust is madness, people find it to be an excuse for cheating. After all, most of these people are already cheaters n are therefore always ready to cheat but only lack opportunity or justification.

    Ngati mwayambana, you can still play the game but under protest. Kungokhala ngati wafa basi osasuntha not even a centimetre (if you are a lady), and osadzuka ai or kungopanga ka half basi (if you are the man). As days go by, njala izakula, then tizaona kuti zayambanso kutheka.

    Otherwise going to courts on these matters is utter nonsense n very unwise! You lose dignity, if you have some; (ofcoz everybody has some. Only few realise it)! But our ears can still hear the stories from Grace Chinga Moffat. Disgusting they simply are! The scars live with you forever!

  36. Zonse says:

    Nkhani zokwatana ndi zopanda umboni

  37. Ndavwa says:

    these are the practical lawyers we needed from many years ago

  38. Funzo says:

    Simplistic headline. Recognition of emotional abuse commendable.

  39. Phinifolo says:

    Malamulo abwino ndi amenewo. Oati za marriage zija zinakambidwa posachedwapa ku parliament.

  40. Issa Kabudula says:

    I am supporting the law, there is a lot of happening in our homes, sex being one item which in too private and not easy to be discussed especially in African cultures and so bring a lot of problems in the ranges of disease, un planned pregnancies, infighting, divorces, rape and killing.

  41. omar khaliffa says:

    Very good

  42. john says:

    This is very true and happy that Govt is addressing it.Once addressed,issues of gender based violence will reduce

  43. Apao Kugola says:

    We have so many laws in Malawi that do not operationalize. Why should couples deny sex to each other in a marriage relationship that is healthy. Sexual denial is a true sign that intimacy and passion have gone out of the marriage. And there are so many factors leading to sex denial by partners. Ma lawyer musanduka ankhoswe a mmabanja. Tiye nazoni.

    Apao

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