Dzuka Malawi: Excellency of Manthanyula, the fall and Eritrea

In Malawi, all you need is pray a lot, stay on Facebook a lot, read Nyasa Times and comments on thei stories and hate gays to shit, everything will sort itself out. The Minister of Finance has left everything to God. Anything about sex excites everyone, look at the buzz the Eretria order to marry two wives has caused.

All roads for men leads to Eritrea

All roads for men leads to Eritrea

Nobody has even guts to remember that Eritreans are running away and dying at sea that sex really is out of questions. You need peace to enjoy sex. Malawi has known perhaps too much peace that anything about sex stirs up debate of wide proportions. Unfortunately the reality in Eretria is different, no peace, no sex and of course no next wife, try to please those you have.

You see the sex obsession is making our headlines that the United States Government represented by Ambassador Virginia Palmer and our Kenyan descendant Barack Obama decided, there was an urgent need to send an envoy for a fact finding mission. Forget hunger, forget medicine, in Malawi sex, specifically gay sex is a matter of urgency. The world will never cease to amaze us.

Malawi is living in awkward days. Thanks to the sort of Chinese Human Rights activists now compared to the days of Ollen Mwalubunju, Shylely Kondowe, Unandi Banda, Undule Mwakasungula, Rafik Hajat, Emmie Chanika, Faustace Chirwa, Reen Kachere, George Clever and Alfred Banda of Odep who were really men and women of integrity. They stood up for the Malawian and demanded full rights to all Malawians. They also knew priorities of the poor.

I remember a particular event during the run up to 1999 general elections, the three ladies Chanika, Chirwa and Kachere ganged up against Reverend Inglis of BT Synod Church and Society for being colonialist, after the Church had raised money and thought of engaging CSOs without consulting them. It was at Hotel Chisakalime (now a madrass) the poor Reverend apologised, that’s how Civil Society worked, real issues-nothing for us without us! Women of substance. The last one Martha Kwataine disappeared to a better job, so too Dorothy Ngoma. Emma Kaliya is quite. No more women activists.

Of course Agama, mwini multiparty Bakili Muluzi assembled his arsenal too, the current Kyungu, Late Nyandovi Kerr, Timpuza Mvula, Al Osman and Phillip Banda were not walk over presidential assistants when they faced the tough political landscape. They were creative lot backed on stage by late Dumbo Lemani, late Davies Kapito and even His Worship Councillor John Ng’ambazikopa Chikakwiya. Kale lokoma. Look at our assistants, busy gossiping and attacking each other!

Look at our Civil Society today, they can’t challenge Government to meet them, they rush to call for demonstration on every petty issue, that they have trivialised demonstrations as nobody take them serious.

Then there is CEDEP and CHRR, the two multipurpose NGOs who can’t resists commenting on everything from rains to gay sex. They even sue people with different view but fail to sue rapists for getting lenient sentences. They simply live in the world of their own not realities of Malawi.

The Neno murdered four suspected witches will die a natural death with a statement one or two but the two NGOs will not dare to even offer representation. They are busy with sex.

My few lessons on advocacy does not mean militancy, normally we start with civic education, engagement with the people and sometimes find entry points to convince opinion makers to start changing public opinion. The adversarial strategy attacking Lucius Banda, Churches which many hold dear to despite Sodom-and-Gomorrah happening right there, is not going to work.

I am scared at the rate these two NGOs are inflaming Malawians after staging four gay-episodes and not being beaten, one day might kill someone just to raise more money from their donors. No bwana Trapence and Bwana Mtambo, no Malawian gay has been or will ever be killed for being gay, shut up start addressing real fundamental rights, educate and train people to demand rights and learn skills of advocacy you visibly lack.

I am not sex-phobic (You see I might be accused of being sex-phobic by rights groups). I mean it is an enjoyable act of nature despite that the real pleasure only lasts the last 15 seconds of the act. But who cares, families have been killed, husbands have chopped off hands of their wives and of course people are in jail for finding that their preserved and duly lobola currency paid for place is being chewed by unauthorised man or woman. Angry wives have exposed pictures of “naughty MG2” right from Palace corridors to church elders. The place command terror, love, abduction and all things in life.

What reminded me all this was the recent outbursts from our colleagues from the diplomatic community namely US Ambassador Virginia Palmer, UK High Commissioner Micheal Nevin and the German Envoy Mr. Wofste. Their reaction to the arrests of two gay young men was that of alarmists, it looked like there was genocide being planned against men who simply love behind of a fellow man or a woman who likes tangling another’s equipment.

What was more shocking is the unionism of these diplomats, calling for urgent respect of “human rights” by Malawi Government, and expressing their anger at angry Malawians writing on social media. The German Ambassador tried to invoke our God fearing mantra.

But these diplomats are a joke. I looked at the figures, in UK where Micheal Nevin comes from there 5,529 homophobic attacks by 2015, up by 29.9 percent. A report by Amnesty International reports the rise of anti-gay attacks across Germany. US Ambassador might need to do a research of the same in New York which registered an increase. The diplomats were screaming about two guys not harmed by anybody.

Diplomacy, from my little knowledge, means representation of your state. Now asking Malawians to deal with a perk when figures in UK, US and Germany are pointing south is not the best of a diplomat to be remembered for. It seems UK envoys would like to leave a strange legacy. Remember another one gave out his confidential cable to London to the media.

To the UK Government it seems homophobic cases in UK are ok but the two guys in Malawi. The UK Government has been silent while Saudi Arabia which is buying billions of pounds worth of armoury is busy slaughtering 47 people some for having sex, some for free speech. I hope that these diplomats realise that Malawians are not as dull as they want us to believe.

My six year old son was the one that made me remember all this. He asked me what “gay envoy” meant after seeing a Daily Times headline last week that a US gay envoy was on an urgent mission. His exact question was “kodi gay envoy muchichewa ndi chani.” Now I have a principle of training my child in the way of the Lord but also telling him facts of life.

I have told him I need to research the appropriate Chichewa word for “gay envoy”. I hope my friends here will help not to sound like “Excellency of Mathanyula” or “Kazembe wa Manthanyula”. But anyway as I say we are living in strange days.

Imagine deep economic crisis, extreme food shortage and no jobs for the youth ones, Ambassadors of UK, USA and Germany are obsessed with sexual rights than fundamental rights to food, good health and education. They do not speak when children die of malnutrition but scream wildly joined by pathetically money driven civil society, which cannot mobilise resources for the poor, poverty and hunger stricken Malawians.

The right to life is basic, food is a basic right. Nobody will die if they don’t have sex, whether mathanyula or missionary the so called biblically approved sex. But if people have no access to food and healthcare they die, their right to life is paramount and fundamental according to all instruments of human rights.

A dead gay won’t enjoy sex Madame Palmer, Mr. Nevin and Herr Woeftse. The urgent need now is food, sort out the economy by providing support to make sure Government provide services that provides enjoyment to right to education, health and food.

Sex while hungry is not the best option, one can faint, listen to nkhani za mmaboma once in a while.

So Centre for the Development of the Peoples and its vocal counterpart CHRR, lets start speaking about first things first, before mathanyula Malawians need food, quality healthcare and good education. We can’t have sex when we are hungry. Its just misplaced priority, start the fight to guarantee enjoyment of basic human rights. No one in Malawi is discriminated based on sex, there are a few Holy men, politicians, Prophets, Musicians, Business gurus suspected to like that, nobody really cares. Just like the US Army until recently-don’t ask, don’t tell.

I hope I won’t be termed homophobic, facts are facts, and fundamental rights like right to life are more pertinent than right to have sex. Dead or hungry people don’t enjoy sex whether missionary biblically approved or gay sex. Of course quite many married couples enjoy “yakumbuyo” once in a while. The Dwangwa prostitute is a case in reference.

So your excellences remember Malawians are waking up, lets hear USA, UK and Germany talking the real rights and support the poorest of the poor. When we are full, healthy and educated enough we will start talking of rights of luxury, which are choice rights, whether I was to have sex with fellow man or even with my beloved pet. You don’t have a choice and sex is not a priority when you have an empty stomach. I hope I make sense to these extravagant diplomats who eat at most expensive hotels in the land purporting to share the pain and needs of Malawians. Well Malawians need food, drugs and a stable economy to create jobs, nobody is in short of sex or being killed for sex choice.

However, I was quite impressed by the Youth Conference Government hosted this other day at the Bingu Conference Centre. All the main speakers at the press briefing and at the opening were grannies and adults. It sounded rather strange to see old people addressing young people on their aspirations. No you got it wrong, it should have been young people driving the programme from the start-next time call it Silver Grey Conference unless you leave youth to do it. The Minister of Youth not Minister of Labour should run the show also!

Of course a President falling is news, people who surround him, protect him are supposed to check all slippery places. If it was a big hole he could fractured a bone. Of course a caption picture would have sufficed not a whole front page lead when the guy woke up and continued the programme. Remember man bite dog, the unusual element was the fall.

  • My Malawians of the week are Mwai Kumwenda lets vote for her, Pisky formely Nthumwi Pisky for the Kora Award and Joyce Mhango Chavula for her LILONGWE movie being nominated for Africa Magic Viewers Choice Awards. LETS VOTE AND PUT MALAWI ON MAP!
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Masozi Mwenifumbo
This world of today has quite so often misinterpreted the love of God to mean “compromise with evil”; whilst the famous Love Chapter in the Holy Bible, 1 Corinthians 13:6, says “LOVE DOES NOT REJOICE IN EVIL (WRONGDOING) BUT REJOICES IN THE TRUTH!!!” We all know that the world would to confuse this LOVE OF GOD WITH THE LOVE OF THE WORLD AND THE THINGS THEREIN LIKE GAYISM/SEXUAL IMMORALITY AND ALL SINFUL ACTS THEREIN, being preached by these antichrists of our time. For 1 John 2:15-18 Commands and warns us, “Do not LOVE THE WORLD OR THE THINGS IN THE… Read more »
Elder sage IV

Quite a good and flowing treatise at the start, but it lost the plot when it juxtaposed four topical issues. Malawi’s preoccupation with sex is a topic on its own, Homosexuality as presented here warrants a separate outing, The analysis and role of Malawi CSOs and activists is a thought provoking well researched subject, and of course in between the lines you touched tongue-in-cheek the issue of the West’s hypocrisy. Because you wanted all these topics in a single article, you were going back and forth, dragging significantly in some paragraphs…..
Otherwise choice of content and language very good.

zika virus

I agree with your analysis


Well argued but I would not agree with you that “no gay Malawian will ever be killed” in Malawi at the pace we are going. There is need for us to keep a degree of level headedness when discussing these issues. Let’s vote for Mwabi.

Mbangi Johnson

Docile country with docile people, shame. A country which depend on hand-outs. Why do you want US, UK and Germany to support you on health and education issues? Why can’t you guys do it yourself?

Issa Kabudula
Mr Tariro – you have written mosabisa kachigamba. There is a big need of education programmes, I got confidence that when people are informed they make informed decisions. The issue of Gays is some thing we need to be open to discuss – for me I don’t accept that there people who are born gays. The other problem is that of twisting the natural law (God Laws) to human laws, where we even go extra mile in enforcing other nations to follow suit. The same issue of gay/lesbianism is not force in Israel, I never red any paper of gays… Read more »
His Excellence the Life President Mkango Lion Chivomerezi Chisokonezo Manthakanjenjemereza
His Excellence the Life President Mkango Lion Chivomerezi Chisokonezo Manthakanjenjemereza

I am for Charlie Msonda, Kodi anthu amathanyulawa chimawasangalatsa ndi chiyani kumakomba nsete kuthako kwa mwamuna nzawo. Atembereredwe, afe ndi moto ngati wa ku Sodom ndo Gomorrah.


Splendid writing,nothing more to say.

mwetanilhapo nginere

A good read. Keep it up. How I wish the Gay Envoys took time to read this article.

Nikita Beza

I have been following your articles since they were first introduced. They’re nice ones and you address topical issues, however you need to learn to be straight to the facts without putting too much similes as they make your story unnecessarily long and boring to read, although they add beauty to your writing.


Fantastic writing skills, keep it up! Malawi first!

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