Letter from Lusaka: Muckraking Xtra

Late Sata with Malawi's former president Bakili Muluzi
Late Sata with Malawi’s former president Bakili Muluzi

Dear Malawians,

I greet you, good neighbours, with hot tears in my eyes.

Although our government initially tried to hide the illness of His Excellency the President Michael Chilufya Sata, when Lusaka realised the inevitable may happen, it quickly owned up and announced that our dear leader was under the weather and was  being evacuated abroad for medical attention.

 When King Cobra, as the abrasive guy was fondly known, breathed his last in London, Lusaka promptly made an official announcement. The Cabinet did not only stop at that; it made sure there was smooth transfer of power and the Vice President, Guy Scott, was immediately sworn-in as  President.

 Of course there are constitutional issues to contend with but at least we did not have any ‘Mid Night Six’ crooks trying to circumvent the Constitution.

 But rewind to April 5, 2012. When you guys were visited by a similar misfortune, you not only tried to hide the obvious; you, like comedians, tried to beat life back into your president. You only succeeded in breaking the poor guy’s ribs! How callous!

 That you desecrated the cadaver of the poor guy was not enough for you; you even post-humously assigned a pseudonym to your dear leader and  flew his  decomposing cadaver  to a military hospital in South Africa to give yourselves room to massage your Constitution to frustrate the smooth transfer of power.

 Your machinations never worked, of course, but you only ended up confusing your historians from recording properly when exactly your dear leader died. No one, even Jesus of Nazareth, dies on more than one date. But your guy, according to the cynical folks that you are, died not on one, not on two but he died on three different dates! What nonsense is that!

 Please, do not do that again; it is not funny, trust me!

Tearfully concerned,

Wisi Boy,

Cairo Road,

Lusaka,

Zambia

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kholowa mkabudula
kholowa mkabudula
9 years ago

…..Bola anzathu aku Zambia mukulamulidwa ndi mzungu, ife tikungokhalila kulamulidwa ndi anthu, omwe ndi ozikonda adyela, oonela chuma ku ukulu, osowa chikondi kwa anthu amasiye ndi ovutika, ankhanza……….Hopefully he can understand english and communicate with his fellow whites and say no to arv’s so men shouldn’t emulate breasts, kuno athuwa ndi yes bwana basi while we are perishing!

In the eyes of the beholder
In the eyes of the beholder
9 years ago

Well here is another way of looking at what happened in Zambia vs what happened in Malawi. When Sata left Zambia, the cabinet chose the minister of justice as the acting president even though there was a vice-president. So this means that in Malawi (if we are to emulate Zambia as the author of the article wants us to), while the then vice-president was telling the nation that she wished Bingu quick recovery in RSA, our cabinet could have chosen anyone among them to serve as acting president. Secondly, upon the death of Sata, it was the Zambian cabinet which… Read more »

Greencardless Malawian
Greencardless Malawian
9 years ago

The difference us that the vice president is not Zambian born though a cutizen if Zambia while JB was and is a full cituzen of Malawi. The mistake Zambia may have made was electing a VP who is not eligible for presidency but what do i know about thw Zambian constitution. But whether you like it or not; the midnight crooks had ni right to grab the presidency from JB who is still making most of Muntharikas bootlikers spend sleepless nights. The devil will tirture you guys to your graves…

Winyo
9 years ago

Zambia 2-1 Malawi..Will Malawi equalise? Goalscorers For Zambia are Mwanawasa & Sata..For Malawi its Bingu! Will Malawi’s hottest hitman Pitala make it 2-2?

Peter chingwalu
9 years ago

i never forget ifaya agogo it seemz some one who lough wil never die bt know that sinje umaptakumusi kwasaratchire ndkume kumakamoto next its you amenewina azakuseke i dont have much to say i keep crying

Arthur G.M. Mtambo
9 years ago

IT IS BETTER TO CONFORT ALL CONCERNED AND WHAT IS COMING NOW IS SOUR TO OTHERS, THAT TIME WENT.

Jokeje
9 years ago

rest in peace Zambia and next is ndata boy kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk

M'Malawi weniweni
M'Malawi weniweni
9 years ago

Kaliati and midnight six company mwawerenga nkhaniyi? Shame on you all! Cheating Malawians Bingu was not dead when you had sinister motives? Actually people knew he was dead before he was being evacuated to RSA. What a shame!

Kanyimbi
Kanyimbi
9 years ago

Maliro athu chikukukhuza ndi chani? Anafawo ndi abambo ako? Kapena pamene anafa timazapempha kwanu? Iwe wopusa eti? Maliro a Bingu anali ako? Pamtu……………………

Njolinjo Mwana wa mama

Don’t carry out such stories for jokes, death is real. Today you are writing of others, tomorrow they will write of you. So be sober!

CHEWA FEDERAL FRONT
CHEWA FEDERAL FRONT
9 years ago

“hot tears…”
“you only succeeded in breaking the poor guy’s ribs”
“…his decomposing cadaver…”
In deep Chewa tradition, through their esoteric/mystery dance, Gulewamkulu, Mr Tenthani would have been censured.
“Wayani mwana oseka maliro?” OK OK; he is not Chewa, but then, even his Jando/Ngaliba masters would find his article abhorent.
Mr Tenthani, are you counting on DPP’s illiteracy? Surely now, they must be planning to get hold of you!!

Central
Central
9 years ago

Keep it up Tenthani, awa a DPP Youth morale palibe chao! Truth pains, and a Chewa ukuwathculawo ali ndi mwambi wakuti “mphini zobweleza ndi zimene zimacha” and without telling these nasty guys more than once, I do not think they can learn anything!! Iweyo oopsebzawe, Bingu anafa which date? Za chamba, musataye nthawi zenizeni zofunika kutanganidwa nazo ndi zimene the EU Ambassador and Thoko Banda have told APM in the face!! Work on all cashgate issues from 2005 and don’t be recruiting people without consulting them!! Muyaluka ndithudi ndi Boma lolowa mwakubaliiiiiii!!

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