Dzuka Malawi: Jappie Mhango, the most intelligent northerner today?

Dear Northern Region, please elect Jappie Mhango, the Minister of Transport as your official spokesperson and negotiator pronto, he is the most intelligent Northerner I have come across.

The highest ranking politician in corridors of power was Khumbo Kachali, had Joyce Banda kicked the bucket (God forbid), Khumbo that duntu from Edingeni who spoke like spoilt child could have become our President. Yes according to the constitution of the Republic. Thanks heaven it did not happen.

Then second was Chakufwa Chihana, yes that “wabefu” confessor, twice not once, became the only Malawian to hold the position of the Second Vice President, specifically created for him and reserved for other party in Government. We know what happened to the end- he spoke inaudible voices, praise singing president Bakili Muluzi, selling out our democracy for third term coins and died a very miserable man from the freedom fighter we all sang of in 1992.

Back to modern day politicians from the North. No back to back first. Orton Chirwa was betrayed by fellow Tongas and a Tumbuka. Aleke Banda was a powerful politician when Manoah Chirwa was arrested- everyone from Kande to Chintheche blamed him for the misery of fellow Tonga’s.

Kanyama Chiume was the composer of “zonse zimene nza Kamuzu Banda” before Ngwazi the original booted him out into misery in Tanzania.

An academic Khwauli Msiska was the one that moved the third term in Parliament on July 4, 2002 again for a few pieces of silver and deputy Minister post. That’s how much democracy the North has contributed to Malawi.

Harry Mkandawire has been there, UDF, DPP and now Peoples Party. Together with Reverend Christopher Mzomera Ngwira, Catherine Gotani Hara and Frank Mwenefumbo they fought tooth an nail Khumbo Kachali in Peoples Party. They are very good Northerners at pulling each other down.

In the North, either you are eating with them or you become the loudest crier of them all. Look at Frank Mwenefumbo, asking what is wrong with being a Northerner- no sir, nothing is wrong with being a Northerner, actually we have married and inter-married that its no longer normal to find a family whose members don’t come from all the regions. Its useless to talk of Northerners anymore. Lets talk and think like Malawians.

The problem is politicians based in the North. They only cry louder, fight and beat each other when they are not the ones eating at that particular moment. Northerners rarely support or listen to each other. The story of politicians betraying the region are plenty, the story of greed and praise singing by Northerners is well documented from Inkosi Mbelwa who crowned Kamuzu the Ngwazi to the other Mbelwa who gave Bingu the same accolade yet the road to his village remains undone. Stupid.

The loudest analysts on social media or Lazarous Chakwera backers are Northerners- interestingly very few cannot even join a proper party and choose to disparage others online. Hey wenna, come down and run for councillor or parliament of presidency if you want change like Chihana.

Out of the 53 registered parties-if the number has not grown up, almost half are chaired or headed by Northerners. Actually its like every constituency has its own political party and you want to convince me to vote for you? No in a hundred years!

Off my head if they cant agree and unite in the North, how do they convince me to vote for their own chaos!

That’s why in keeping with tradition of Northern Region, Jappie Mhango, my cartoon of the month is very right. He is intelligent and strategic and might have read the political history of the North, boot licking and praise singing and betraying your own works. Don’t  listen to criers crying for positions pretending they love the region more.

After all, real businessman knows that only reality matters in business. In political business- the reality is eat and eat, praise and praise and forget about some Chinese presidency the North will never had.

Dzuka Malawi, before stoning me- tell me if you believe Kamlepo Kalua or Frank Mwenefumbo or Harry Mkandawire would turn down Ministerial position from DPP if appointed in the interest of developing the North! Be a fool and believe them, I endorse Jappie Mhango as rightful heir of Chakufwa Chihanas empty seat-it has been vacant for long.