I always trusted… ha ha ha!

Damn right you are. I always trusted a number of this, right from my teeth growing ages to now my ripe age. I can give birth at my age – and that is something I truly trust now. Ha ha ha ha!

When late Bingu wa Mutharika forgot Kamuzu Central Hospital requires the best health service care equipment and medications in the cool years of his presidency, he did not know that this would, in one way or another, lead to his own demise. Did he always trust… that he would be treated or rushed to such a cheap medical centre in his newly found kingdom, nope I guess.

I never also trusted that would come to pass, and it did come to pass with nasty results on the part of our departed leader.

Now we have the likes of Mulli, who also always trusted that come rain or sunshine, his would be banknotes all over his accounts. He over trusted the deceased Kahuna (is this still a banned name?) would protect his economic and financial skeletons till death do him part with earth. Did that happen? Now the brother is in his own boots, kicking a dust that only the ‘stupid’ others did lick when he was in the cushy riches courtesy of State House.

Ahem, Noel Masangwi also always trusted he would outlive any ‘gangster’ during his frolicking blue days. He forgot, like Mulli, that God is a listening God and those that mess with God’s people surely pay somehow someday. And there he goes, a critical suspect in the Chasowa murder.

I do not want to ask if indeed its true, as has been purportedly alleged before, that a number of people have suffered, physically, at ‘His Gangster ship Masangwi’s hands or word. The future may wait to tell. But that is all for now about this politician and what have you. Ha ha ha ha!

Yes, Atupele Muluzi, so-called Arthur, never trusted the Mayi JB roller-coaster would soon start to call him names and questions his incapacitation on the mother tongue. The ‘toddler’ called it quits, so much for deep rooted trust, I may say.

And the world is truly round, did Cassim ‘Kaka’ Chilumpha really trust that he would sail through the corridors of cabinet in the heavily loaded PP boat, up his way to probable 2014 running mate position? Perhaps the pimps in Vice President Khumbo Kachali, his  own blood foe Brown Mpinganjira, and the old rusty hoodwinking politicians known for their tricks thought otherwise, and managed to convince Abiti Mtila to relieve the soloist of his cabinet position.

Kaka must have had so much trust in the lady at State House so much that he cannot, almost, let go of the Porsche government vehicle so am told. Ha ha ha! Shock can be a good excuse…

And who is that again, yes, Ken Kandodo, who so much trusted that the little school girl who played his wife’s spare wheel the other day would not seek for help when he collapsed over an overdose of those sex hyping pills. He should have trusted that like Hon. Lady Penemulungu who did not say what transpired for the Big Kahuna to hit the highway to heaven in April this year, the school girl would keep the ‘affair’ a tight lid no matter what happened.

But such is life, and well, the hotel says it cannot talk of their clients’ behest behaviour, ably suggesting that even if Kandodo collapsed dazed by the young lady’s bed antics, they would never say a word to even his next of kin if he went the ‘cardiac arrest’ way.

I wonder what his wife might be thinking, but as for all public figures – perhaps someone is really out to tarnish the excellent image of the hardworking man from Kasungu!

Damn, I almost forgot. Now that Christmas and should I say the festive season is just about the corner, Mama JB must also have trusted so much that people would not notice his learned nephew, Andy Chanthunya, full the television screen dancing drunk when she threw a party for so-called Blantyre youths.

Andy may be a lawyer, they say, but some overzealous cameraman at the Mama Broadcasting Corporation (MBC) must have realised he/she needed a bigger Christmas bonus and zoomed in on the unsuspecting young Chanthunya. My question is: Did Mama trust she would throw a party for her nephew and others licking her high heals, spending tax payers money in these hard days of devaluation effects, and Malawians would not realise this was just an old lady entertaining her young relations and sidekicks?

That question is going to me, not you. Ha ha ha!

Yes, I always trusted that come December my parents would by me new shoes, a little nice new dress complete with shiny lacing, some beautiful little white shoes of the likes from Cinderella the Hollywood spoof, and a little ribbon would grace my head in those two little puffs of hair she would manage on my almost balded head. I always trusted my uncles and aunts would buy and send me dolls carrying little babies and baskets and a tea set…

I always trusted that when I went to the kitchen at mama’s call I would always find good food on the table. Rice complete with toast chicken, soup of the highest aroma, ice cream as a finisher and of course, some cake to wallow it all up with…

I always trusted my little brother would accompany me to the photographers with the parents, take a family photo for grannies and a copy for our livi9ng room. That was what I trusted throughout out, until I had to walk out of my dear parents’ home, putrid with fear at responsibility and the world out there.

This time around am only hoping someone will pay me for my work, and on time. And that there will be a Christmas bonus added to that. I am only hoping that the next day, just before I can raise a little something to go to kaunjika to buy myself a pair of old jeans (a leftover probably from one street Hobo in South Africa or ex-serviceman from the USA), and  a pair of some plastic shoes (on the excuse its rainy season and some leather may not be just as suitable – am damn bloke), and plan some way of convincing some well-to-do young man who has had an eye for me for months to take me out for dinner and probably a night dance – and trick him into thinking I will end up in his bed, when of course, I will right after the dance be going to my sister’s party (which I have only made up and is far from true or happening in the next ten years, probably).

Truth is I will be home sleeping my hungry stomach off as the politicians will be enjoying themselves!

But hey, still here I am with all my hidden sins, feeling much-much better than the political uncertainties answering to the names of sexed-up Kandodo, gangster Masangwi, lonely Chilumpha, unsteady Mama JB, deceitful Penemulungu, baby Atupele, greedy Mulli, and all others missing from this list.

What more can I say apart from wish each one of us a wonderful and successful Merry Christmas and festive season?

Let’s be for Malawi and not “everyone for him/herself” Ha ha ha ha! We all deserve a better treat, scandalous politicians or otherwise…!

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