Satire: Goodbye 2011, welcome New Year 2012
Hallo friends, colleagues, everybody from the party and such. New Year’s Eve is supposed to be an event to celebrate. So let’s hear some of the good news from Kukaya and then we have reason to party!
Ken, why don’t you give me the good news first? How are things going?
Hm, yes, well, things are going fine. We’re doing absolutely great.
There’s this one trivial thing I need to mention. But it does not really matter. You see, we have no forex, and the Kwacha has become slippery as well. So we are broke. But apart from that things are going fine, we’re doing great!
Hm, Ken, that’s not really what I want to hear. Anyway let’s move on.
Goodall, why don’t you give me the good news next? How are things there?
Hm, yes, well, things are going fine. We’re doing great. But there’s this one trivial thing I need to mention. But it does not really matter. You see, we have no fuel. No diesel, no petrol. And some people with small minds have been saying Diesel, Petrol, Palibe meaning DPP. But apart from that things are quite fine, we’re doing incredibly great!
Hm, Goodall, that’s not really what I want to hear. Let’s move on.
Kingsley, why don’t you give me the good news next? How are things with you?
Hm, yes, well, things are going fine. We’re doing absolutely great.
There’s this one trivial thing I need to mention. But it does not really matter.
You see, we have no maize. The grain reserves are very low and the lean season as you know is just starting. But apart from that things are going fine, we’re doing absolutely great!
Hm, Kingsley, that’s not really what I want to hear. Let’s move on.
Kondwani, why don’t you give me the good news next? How are things going?
Hm, yes, well, things are going fine. We’re doing absolutely great too.
But there’s this one trivial thing I need to mention though it does really not matter. You see, some of our international friends like Mike in Rhodesia have been angry with us. But apart from that things are going fine, we’re doing absolutely great!
Hm, Kondwani, that’s not really what I want to hear from you. Let’s move on anyway.
Aunt Zomba, then tell us the good news from there, what do you have?
Hm, yes, well, things have been going fine. We have been doing quite OK until this trivial issue emerged. Though it does really not matter I still need to mention. You see, our classroom freedom was trampled upon. But apart from that things have been going on fine, we’re doing absolutely great!
Ah, so far it appears everybody says there is nothing. No money! No fuel! No maize! No classroom freedom! Anybody here! Do we have anything? What do we have?
Yes, Davie, what do we have?
Hm, you see, we have plenty of ammunition to take to the streets and petrol bombs. Things are going fine with us, we’re doing great!
Oh, Davie! That is the news we need to hear. Why are we all complaining then? That solves all our problems. Let’s party now.
I wish you all a happy, rewarding and safe New Year 2012, without ammunition and petrol bombs but of plenty international friends, forex, fuel, maize and classroom freedom!
Pop the champagne for the guests and bring in mores crates celebrate the New Year!
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