Sorry, Uladi your ‘change goal’ politics just don’t matter anymore

I  am yet to meet with politician Uladi Mussa to, perhaps, gauge and capture the shrewd politician I grew up to believe he is.

Uladi : Changing political goal posts

But I have read, heard and experienced, from far, the Uladi, the self-styled Chenji Golo, who, often, carries himself with the dense of political importance that eludes human comprehension.

Well, Uladi, at some epoch, must indeed have had the weight of a politician to reckon, to trust—somebody with a physical and vocal presence to mobilise and influence.

A descendant of Bakili Muluzi’s political engineering of outright dry lies and soothing jokes, Uladi read deep from Muluzi and, with years, he has, like a robot, chosen to stay true to that even when the games of political thrones under him kept changing fast for better for worse.

Over the years, Uladi—like that slain Zimbabwean writer Dambudzo Marechera who always packed his things and left—has shamelessly crisscrossed different parties under the banner of Chenji Golo.

Literally, Chenji Golo could be a character in a game of soccer who, even when the game is on, could ditch his own team and join the other because it is winning. That, true to his ways, is a mark of political greed that has been the philosophy at the heart of what is Uladi.

But in his relentless Chenji Golo antics, Uladi has lost so much political relevance that whenever he opens his mouth, what comes out is the stuff for Nickelodeon or Disney.

He has changed colours so much more than a chameleon would do in a lifetime. His political importance can hardly be found in any corners of national importance—if not just his constituency in Salima.

At the level he is, Uladi, if there was any justice in the world, would fairly compete better at a constituency level and the largest political office befitting who he has shrunk into is a district governor.

But this is Malawi.

In Malawi, politicians such as Uladi, against their visible dying influence, still walk tall in political streets, demanding respect and making strong but empty statements that only snooping journalists enjoy for sake of headlines. That’s all.

It is against this that I nearly choked to deletion when, last week, Uladi—in his wisdom, if wisdom—went to a radio to declare himself People’s Party (PP) new tsar. His argument was that Joyce Banda, PP leader, has her mandate expired—as such, he, as an acting leader, had the ‘mandate’ to take over.

I don’t know much about PP’s governing laws. But I am not so young to understand the need for Mr. Uladi to have consulted with fellow party gurus before making such a grievous decision. Well what resulted, and I enjoyed it, is William Shakespeare’s Comedy of Errors where this one fires that one, and that one fire that one—and so on.

PP has its own intra-party issues it must choose to address or not. But when you add political worn outs like Uladi, the sum becomes interesting because it reveals to all of us the rot in the head of politicians we vote to power.

Uladi, just many others of his average, have been in politics for so long waiting, unapologetically, for one office: the Presidency.

I don’t know where politicians such as Uladi buy this great expectation of thinking one day they will be at State House. But, as a country, we need to watch out politicians such as Uladi because they are so poised in their fear of not becoming presidents so much that, one day, they will turn into political suicide bombers.

Look at Uladi is doing to PP. He knows his political sun is setting but, look, he doesn’t want to go to sleep alone. He usurps PP to escort him to his final act of political deletion.
If you don’t know. Don’t trust politicians such as Uladi because, trust me, they have always been around and they have 99 dreams and developing this country is not one of them. As earlier pointed out, they are in their evening and all they want to eat, eat and eat to their end.

I know politicians such as Uladi have been to every Malawian, within and abroad, with a coercing tongue, begging financial assistance to support a good cause they so push yet, when all has been said and done, no coin will trickle to the poor out there.

Don’t say I didn’t warn you. Uladi has changed all the goal posts—he doesn’t have any remaining. It is time he substituted himself, or he should be substituted, from the political arena. He doesn’t matter anymore; he is a political liability both to the ear and eye. He must leave.

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