Too early: ‘April Fools Day’ game is helping nobody: Malawi strike

Most Malawians will tell you to go to hell about certain days ‘celebrated’ elsewhere across the globe. These may vary, but for sure Christmas is not one of them. I am talking about little known or little regarded April Fools Day!

For starters, I for one is not a great fun for holidays. I should agree most of us may not be, but again, it seems a majority of Malawians may be proving me wrong – they love holidays and would eagerly appreciate them throughout the year, as long as somebody gave them the money for which to help loaf on.

We damn seem to love holidays. Someone the other day told me, for civil servants, everyday can be a holiday – and no-one gets easily fired for doing nothing. And yet we expect government to provide the essential services for life to go on and on – that is ‘smoothly’.

That said, I think this is true, and again, there are a number of people one can call workaholics. And could we argue we have a great number of these in the civil service? The answer may be yes, depending on what you believe in, and of course no, depending on what you are.

It is, still April Fools Day that is sickening, at least for most of us.

From CAMA’s (Consumer Association of Malawi) 17th January 2013 strike (who cares if only a handful showed up) – a strike is a strike no matter the numbers. It is the impact that we should look at. John Kapito and two of his lady friends peacefully led those few Malawians to express the pains that the majority of Malawians are experiencing.

I know Jessie Kabwila-Kapasula (whatever she now calls herself) may seem to be overzealous about her being part of every voice that talks against political top tier leadership since ‘Academic Freedom’ was threatened years back, and that Seodi White seem to be taking more interest in the general poor Malawian populace other than representing women issues alone, this fem-dom duo plus Kapito told government enough is enough.

And some people laughed out their lungs. Thought these three ‘leaders’ were something close to insane. That is where my April Fools Day comes in, and it came in quite a bit too early, as April itself is far from events of January and of course, this February and probably March 2013 when the ‘jive’ will be too hot for Mama JB to handle.

Fools Day why? Because JB and her government spokesperson Moses Kunkuyu think we are playing games as Malawians. They think they can fool us and fool us all the time. They are playing to the white man’s tune and forsaking the indigenous voice.

Yes, Fools Day started when they lied or hyped through MBC radio and television that January 17th had failed. That no-one was on the streets protesting devaluation pains, corruption spikes, rising costs of basic needs, stinging fuel prices that were unstable (suck that floatation), and a lot more.

That small number of Malawians made a point and the 6 points were no joke at all. The 21 days ultimatum was again no Fools Day prank, people!

And yet JB and her administration continues to play with us, ignoring civil servants hitched at Capital Hill, grounding essential services. As they strike, of course, none may be there sitting behing their finance department desks to ‘effect’ their February salaries, but the point is clear – enough is enough and getting ‘enough-ier’!

Now they stretch on with their Fools Day assumptions by daring to lie again to Malawians that all civil servants were in their offices when they started the peaceful sit-in on around 8th February 2013. Kunkuyu is a sure brain-dead to think such ill-placed statements can make the rest of Malawians believe something had been struck as a go-back-to-work deal.

They forgot, in the same statement, that they were arousing more curiosity when they claimed MCTU (Malawi Congress of Trade Unions) leadership was no near for negotiations. That is the biggest fools assumption, really.

So civil servants came out in larger numbers to make sure there was that 65 or 67% salary increment deal reached between the administration and the likes of Kamphinda. The truth was different, another angle to a more frustrating Fools Day prank!

So the few overzealous police officers may have expressed a bit of their ill-training antics by throwing teargas on a peaceful gathering of fellow civil servants fighting for their ‘deserved’ livelihoods (including that of the ‘stupid’ – sorry – police guys that administered the stinky gas). And yes, JB and Kunkuyu perhaps thought that would resolve the matter.

But Malawians have known even live bullets do not stop innocent Malawians from standing up for their rights – constitutional rights. The DPP tried it and killed some, God in return took their leader? Forbid!

Now JB is slowly trying to do the same, and I can well say that is the BIGGEST FOOLS DAY prank she can ever play.


1. Civil servants ‘run’ government, not the sick-head politicians up there busy enriching themselves through undeserved allowances, salaries, and what have you…

2. Malawian citizens own this country and employ the leadership, and not the IMF or indeed the few political bums that keep changing from one political party to another in the jibe of serving the government of the day…

3. Civil servants are Malawians and are in majority and are the voters and indeed have the right to go out and express grievances when the leadership, their employees, are not living up to their hired billing. So when Capital Hill goes on strikes or demonstrations, the worst follows…

4. People will die, if not from careless police bullets, then from lack of essential health care service, and embarrassingly enough, from diseases that can be easily cured… because nurses will also strike and that will and is already KILLING THE MALAWIAN POPULATION AND ZEAL TO STAY THE PP ADMINISTRATION COME 2014…

5. There will be no development, as teachers will strike and children will miss classes and grow up education-less, leading to more empty-headed leaders holding top political positions and therefore more civil unrest and anarchy…

6. Hey, everyone will hence strike in demand for better perks, paralyzing this country and therefore making it prone to attacks (Tanzania might be well rehearsing for that starting with our Bonya aqua reserves up North). Imagine soldiers on strike? Imagine even the police going on strike? And then the politicians backtracking (they always do at the last pin point moment) with their support for the wise leadership…? Think, Mama JB, think… do not let Kunkuyu be your think-tank….

7. Finally, the world will collapse with laughter realizing Malawi, that milk and honey land of peaceful people, has finally collapsed, COURTESY OF MAMA JB TRYING TO GIVE MALAWIANS AN EARLIEST ‘FOOLS DAY’ TREAT….!

My advice, stop this nonsense as we do not need such jokes. We are no fools. We are Malawians and are tired.

Ha ha ha ha ha. Lady or not, enough is enough…

Just stop this TOO EARLY FOOLS DAY holiday for us… its so silly and dangerous. It can kill!ha ha ha---

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