Weekend euphoria – DStv and beer babies?

Of Multichoice Malawi, that solo tv-box company making moneys out of excited Malawians to view their choice-lot will not pay me a penny for this, but this weekend is worth mention for the lined live sporting events from June 2012 to July 1. Keep the calendar rolling. And neither will the ‘stupid’ Kalibu Entertainment Centre barman offer me a beer for free for this free promo.

Whatever the case, Friday Woza is no mean achievement for most people, much taking on new bank notes ringing bells in the bank accounts – less for United Nations (UN) local agency staff who are doing a naughty sit-in, or just call it a strike, to be more precise. Am told those working under the Brishit (sorry, British) Council are also turning the pockets inside out – asking for a ‘lift’ in their perks or to the bin be their Cameron wages this month!

That will, however, not keep fun loving Lilongwe fans in particular, OFF THEIR COLD ONES. I know for one Dunduzu Jnr, or whatever, will be both in Blantyre and Lilongwe doing GO TO HELL (is it?) or something on the drama stage, but that is for the comedy stands. For now, let the television sport watching and beer drinking rule the weekend!

Fun seekers having their beer in Malawi

Let’s start with an international friendly between Okocha’s (who cares if he aren’t playing no more) Nigeria against former apartheid South Africa of Bruce Grobelar, that goal-keeping crown of yester-soccer on Saturday 23 June. Yes, The green and white stripes will be facing the rainbow nation (you may also call it the Jacob Zuma Shower Nation – JZSN) from 16h55 on SS9. That’s Super Sport 9 for dead brains, just in case.

Kinnah of Flames, yes back here home in Malawi, will not be beaming on anything DStv, unless some miracle happens like did between 5th to 7th April. Ask Abiti JB for details!

Instead, lousy Malawians who prefer English or European soccer over local talent will enjoy some European Grand Prix: Qualifying on CAT 13h45 on channel SSHD/SS7/SS7N and Maximo, whatever be their remote control choice. They will have to look elsewhere for European, or Brazilian, or a’la Spaniolo, or indeed Portuguese soccer. Who really cares for Chinese soccer ever since!?

That goes for the screen-glued in sport world.

Locally, you will have to forgo making babies by attending to voluntary drinking sprees at your favourite drink joints. But at Kalibuin Area 23, you will need more than cash to enjoy your beer. You will also need a good temper not to pound on cheeky barman Innocent. Not to mention the bargirl-woman who exchanges his duty call often times. They are a complete opposite, not only by sex being male and female, but by behaviour too. Whilst Innocent is quiet, the chick is noisy, but it is the barman’s lack of manners that make the bargirl-woman an angel at serving customers at this great joint.

Not to forget that Robert’s Sun Set pub with its great tourism-notch outside roof will be showing sports all the way. Often a game of pool will also help you ease up on the bossy boss’ attitude levelled at you from Monday to late Friday. That is for Matchansi, but beware dropping a uniformed citizens’ beer bottle – that could call for drastic resolutions.

At Zero Degrees in Area 22 you will have to munch on those mang’ina pieces before you walk in to be disturbed with your boozing as it is often full of pool players that do not offer a good lady a beer, and loafers that waste the entire Euro-season watching games armed with a Fanta bottle. Life can be a heckle indeed.

Am told some little boys have had the courage to scream ‘Amayi ndikufuna mang’ina a pa mowa!!!’ when being dragged past such bottle stores. Time men thought of a take-home/away mang’ina weekend this month-end, perhaps, less the little ones raise hell through and through.

You may say what was a woman like me doing at this club? Well, women are now calling the shots. Look who is making make jump crazy at the helm? Woman!

Who is getting belts in boxing to new levels? Woman!

Who is ruling your house – more to say your bedroom? Women! So let women power be and enjoy a good time too. Just accept it, your domineering hours are slowing down, men.

This is Friday Woza, so get a life, watch that DStv at your favourite pub as you drown them beers – even if that will mean denying your cosy wife her nocturnal rights and the baby-making wee hours.

Men and television sport coupled with drinking joints will not stop to amaze me. Not only because I am a woman, but because men do stink often times – especially the weekend days they call FATHERS DAY!

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