Dzuka Malawi: Dear Nevin, advice from UK, thanks but no thanks

On July 6, 2016, Malawi will be celebrating its 50th Republican day. 52nd Independence day and of course with 50 percent of its citizens living in poverty, nearly 40 percent facing food shortages, 10 percent ravaged by HIV and Aids, uncontrollable malaria, joblessness and greedy politicians.Dzuka Malawi

That’s what we will be celebrating on July 6, 2016. A bit of headless and visionless politicians, thieving public service where doctors steal money and civil society out of touch with reality on the ground. That is a concoction which makes my Malawi today.

If we add mob justice, albino hunters, witches killers and stealing banks, tobacco companies and unstable kwacha, you really get a picture why even national team is a joke to be maintained by the poor tax payer whose cost of exercise books will go up, just because the Minister of Finance is out to get newspapers. We are a joke. A very sick joke.

As if this is not enough then we have Diplomats especially from the West. These they complete the joke of our nation. Specially not so Excellency Micheal Nevin, the know-it-all diplomat whose end of tour remembrance is hip hop song during Her Majesty’s 90th Birthday celebrations.

I know Malawians like freebies and when an invitation card from the British High Commission comes to the office, everyone makes sure they look great and attend every event at that plot in Area 10. The birthday of this Lady who refuses to retire despite her old age and the fact that the son has reached even the UK retirement age of 65 waiting for throne is a source of amusement for people like Robert Mugabe, Yoweri Museveni and others.

Hip hop is associated with streets and gangsters. I was happy that Her Majesty’s worst representative to Malawi since 1964 befittingly decided to leave Malawi with a memorable video of his tour of duty as a gangster, partisan and out of touch diplomat who saw UK assistance in real terms shrink and failed to even compete with Malawi’s neighbours in attracting UK new programmes.

Michael Nevin was obsessed with politics, gay rights and out rightly being undiplomatic that he decided to end his tour with misplaced advice that Malawi needs radicle change. Something close like change your Government and change yourselves.

No Micheal the hip hop gangster, UK needs radical change. Its influence among the former colonies is at its lowest. Its influence even on global matters has plummeted like old Ottoman empire. China carries more weight in Commonwealth countries than UK. Reality check with your visa regime that treats everyone as a suspect wanting to stay in UK, deny’s children to see dying mothers and your near Brexit for the sake that you hate foreigners, wow ask Vladmir Putin what he thinks of UK if you think your voice matters- he calls UK that Island that produces nothing. General Buhari of Nigeria thinks of it as stolen money heaven and Panama papers indicate what your elitist do not to pay tax!

It should never send diplomats like him in the next 50 years. The problem with diplomats like Nevin they always think they are brighter than the hosts and open their mouths to educate “these niggers” while failing to do basic analysis of Malawi of today.

I know beneficiaries of Micheal Nevins manipulated Chevening scholarships will scream not fair. I find that as a joke, from the British Federation of Rhodesia and Nyasaland, up today Malawi has least number of chevening scholars despite its population being equal to Zambia and bigger than Zimbabwe. Even last year when Micheal Nevin was busy sending Journalists and Lawyers and shunning those in Government agencies, Zambia and Zimbabwe sent 20 each, we sent around 8, up from four the other year. If Nevin had paid attention to Foreign and Commonwealth Office he could have managed to bargain for good numbers.

I have very little like of politicians, especially our politicians, they are the cause of our misery from Kamuzu Banda right to present administration. Our obsession with listening to donors, IMF and especially the UK has seen as fail develop to succeed.

Since 1964, the UK has controlled the narrative in Malawi. Kamuzu trusted them as he killed Malawians, oppressed Malawians and tortured Malawians in tea estates, the poor tax treaty and even sending lost of Brits as advisors while they drained what we clapped hands to be aid.

If we are poor today, countries like Britain, yes Britain of Micheal Nevin own 30 percent of contributing to our poverty. The looked aside while Kamuzu killed, they started supported institutions like ACB and Human Rights Commission briefly before leaving midway for cheap and less focused NGOs under guise of tilitonse, the UK protects the exploitative tea and tobacco companies who have enslaved millions of the poorest and the lasts Action Aid report indicates even perpetuate tax free bands for UK companies.

UK company was responsible for IFIMIS which resulted in scandalous cashgate, they quickly sent in their company Baker Tilly to cover up system deficiencies and insist we continue to use it when we all cases are rampant that this IMF and World Bank systems is useless to say the least.

After cashgate, Nevin’s reports and that of the DFID heads to London (By the way say hallo to the romantic DFID head-Norway Ambassador) indicate clearly that they are a reason why budget support has been withheld. DFID makes decision based on local reports. It is obvious Nevin loved Amayi JB and hates the DPP. I don’t care much about his love or his hate, I care about his ability to pretend to care for Malawians and fail to change basic things like the tax agreement, resumption of crucial budget support to balance the economy and get fair price and deal for tea which I understand the British Monarch gets something out of it.

Unfortunately the radical change Nevin wants Malawians to undertake should start with him. The UK launched a Prosperity programme for African countries, it was Tanzania, Angola and Mozambique in the SADC region that got included in the initial programme. Nevin failed to make a case for Malawi to his Government. No Nevin, Mozambique and Tanzania were late comers to UK colonialism. You are a let down rapper.

That’s why I love American diplomats. USA gives over USD300 million in various programmes in Education and Health and impact is seen from villages to Universities. UK loves governance and gay rights programmes. When the US Government launched the Millennium Challenge Account, US Embassy in Lilongwe worked hard to get the programme to Malawi and indeed USD350 million programme is up and running.

Mr. Nevin, if US Ambassador speaks, I listen. They have USD600 million dollars to show off with few technical advisers. MCA management is mainly Malawians. Look at your Tilitonse DFID fund, few pounds programmes run and dominated by UK expatriates.

We are poor 52 years later because we have been listening to UK. We need radical change to stop listening to you. You want use to legalise gay rights as a matter of urgency and shamelessly even tying it to aid. No, the British Council, your front for cultural diplomacy talks of recognising and promoting cultures between peoples, why cant you accept what Malawi culture is even if it seems backwards to you.

So gangster Nevin, please rap away in peace. You have become a joke of diplomacy. When you kept those beard after Tay Grin, the Nyau King had started rearing his, we could not relate them, but after that performance, we now can see what you spent time on during your tour of duty.

When you return to London, tell them candidly that the Chinese are investing in important sectors from hospitals to economic growth areas such as Tourism and manufacturing. They also offer us duty free access to markets for our products, their companies pay tax fairly unlike the UK and of course they send over 30 Malawians for training without entangling themselves with domestic politics or funny declarations that we need radical change.

The real change we need now, is to stop listening to Britain, IMF and World Bank, only then will Malawi start its own path for development. Dzuka Malawi, tell tea estates owners the landless might want their land soon if they don’t pay for years of neglect, abuse and low perks. Most of them are British owned with colonial mentality- that’s where radical change is needed Mr. Nevin.

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what is he talking about? I am a fierce critic of the UK and the USA but I really dont know what he is going on about!

Maggie Lucious

To be quite honest, I like this article. The British are selfish people who think they are better than the world. Snakes in the grass indeed.


A difficult to read article. It needs to be edited for sense.


I feel sorry for my country. Some commentators here claim that Rudo, in this article, is refuting that Malawi needs radical change. Which article are you responding to? Which article have you read? Definitely not this one. Read the whole article carefully before you comment. Do not make conclusions and interpretations based on one sentence. If you do so, you will never understand the message in this article. Hmmmmm ndamva chisoni kwambiri.

The Analyst
O……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..O It is clearly clear that you are Rudo Tariro him/herself responding to some of these comments. Truth is, no one needs to read the whole article to realise that you Rudo are disputing the message of change put forth by Nevin. . . . while Nevin suggested that Malawians, specifically, the leaders; need change in the way they do business; you (Rudo) are suggesting that the change which Malawi needs is stop listening to Nevin, Britain, the IMF and the World Bank; implicitly and squarely refuting what Nevin is suggesting. . . . However, any person with a reasonable… Read more »
Hahahaha …The Analyst thanks for reading and understanding Rudo’s article the way I do. By the way, I am NOT Rudo. I think Rudo cannot comment on his own article olo wodwala misala sangapange zimenezo. Both Rudo and Nevin are proposing a change but they differ on the specifics of that change. And I prefer Rudo’s proposed change probably because Nevin just said Malawi needs a radical change but he did not go further into specifics. By the way, how can Nevin know that Malawi needs a radical change when he fails to know that his own country, the UK,… Read more »
The Analyst

Kikiki, I see . . .

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What an utter load of C**P. The British government stood by Malawi when it sought assistance form an internationally blacklisted South Africa, because HKB knew it made economic sense for many workers to earn a living in a more affluent country and bring their earnings home. What has gone wrong in recent years is that most of Malawi’s top earners have sent their money off shore. This has destabilised the MK, deprived the MRA and the whole nation of a local economy. Who gets the profit when an MP buys new duty free cars for his or her family and… Read more »
Jelbin Makamo
While i agree with the writer on several points such as the UK and the whole west imposing policies on Africa through their professional economic thugs (IMF & World Bank) buy trying to convince us that our culture is primitive and that theirs is of superior nature at the same time i don’t agree with him that we don’t need a radical change. We needed that change long time ago and we seem to have missed the opportunity actually we need a total revolution because Malawi is rotten from head to toe yes i mean from the president to a… Read more »
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Wow! That’s why I call you the true patriot Rudo. I too, am very angry with this Mr. Nevin.

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