Esteemed dear lateral thinking readers, here we go again. First things first, without further ado, let us put things straight and in place, here and now. This column, I verily promise, will not be used to focus on people’s misfortunes or accidents. I swear!
We are not interested in foolish people’s self-constructed and somewhat stupidly self-dug pitfalls, legal or morally, rather our focus is to discuss and ponder on real issues. By and large, we will endeavour to engage into an intellectual intercourse and in the long run impregnate one another with nothing but pure wisdom.
I would like to religiously assure you, honourable dear readers that this column will not strive to thrive on using this cyber-space to vent about the injustices of those in politics or those pretending to be politicians or the cluelessness thereof.
The most startling thing about lateral thinking is how negative it isn’t.
The 2019 election campaigns seems to be underway, and it is very clear that doing or saying unintelligent things is no barrier to political success, but largely, it is very stupid.
Unfortunately, there are several psychological mechanisms that lead to apparent idiots, educated or not (by the way, education is overrated in Malawi) speak because only because they have a mouth.
Malawian politicians, their reputation oft so very poor.
In all fairness, this is largely their own fault and they have no one to blame for it. Utsilu sagawana. Chitsilu ndi chitsilu basi.
Nonetheless, it would be foolish to assume that every politician is an idiot. If they were, the whole infrastructure would collapse before you could that there are still a few good men and women out there who are only in politics to serve the interest of the people and their country.
Professor Thandika Mkandawire once said that there is something about politics. He aptly said, politics has a strange ability of turning intellectuals into qualified idiots. This cannot be further from the truth. Many professors have become so useless under our watch and some times we do wonder what is it that they are professors in, stupidity or witchcraft?
Such people give a bad name to both the professorship and politics. And the answer is very simple. Commonsense is not common and no school in the world teach anybody wisdom, because if wisdom was a taught subjects, these professors would be the ideal leaders. But nay, being a professor is just being an old grumpy old man or woman.
This is how people think about politicians:
They enact bad policies. They’re terrible people. They are thieves and greedy. They change their mind and reverse it. Politicians promise improvements. They promise heaven not hell. They are liars. They’re obviously lying. Politicians promise to do something unpopular.
To be honest and if brutal truth be told, many of our politicians are clearly in it for themselves. They are in it to win it for themselves and not for Mother Malawi and that is why thy do not give a hoot about the swamp. They don’t care.
But on the other side of the political coin, there surely are plenty (let us not call these politicians but men and women of goodwill) who really do want the best for the people and their service to mankind.
So, for the record, not all politicians are idiots (although your definition of idiot may vary). But plenty are. Malawi is an exceptional place and is blessed not with the men and women of good will but the political idiots. Malawi is particularly afflicted with old grumpy old people who do not want to let go. Why would Joyce Banda want to contend for presidency after running away from the people of Malawi for a good four years duckin into self-exile? What is it that Dr. Cassim Chilumpa and Khumbo Kachale want from the presidency?
And the archetype Professor Arthur Peter Mutharika, Dr. George Chaponda, Dr. Goodall Gondwe and Professor Chisi (whatever he calls himself or who the hell he thinks he is) The man whose idiotic musings does not make sense – the one who said Kamuzu was a bad leader because he was not married.
Seriously? Does he know that Jesus was never married? The irrefutable stupidity of this man of letters gets me wanking each time I hear his name. That’s is not the argument for today.
Its time to do away with idiocy in Malawi. Let the fresh minds take over. We do not want these old clueless people to lead us any more. The question is, where would the Professor Peter Mutharika’s, the Goodall Gondwe’s, the Dr. Chaponda’s, the Joyce Banda’s, the Uladi Mussa’s, the Professor Chisi’s take us to? The grave?
Some of these people are old enough to be in heaven and be our ancestors not leaders. They did their part and we appreciate but we refuse to have living ancestors for leaders for we have among us in large numbers able young and brilliant minds to take our beautiful country to the ‘Golan heights.
Plenty of people will argue that these very old educated human fossils are actually very visionary and intelligent and that they are only pretending to be political buffoons. But for me, as a lateral thinker, this only underscores the point; an intelligent person does not need to feign stupidity to achieve political success.
Growing old is mandatory and there is nothing one can do it. The best is to enjoy old age and not to continue giving onself stress trying to do things that your age cannot handle. There is time for everything, they say.
What a I saying here? Very Simple.
Clearly, I am not an ageist. Everyone grows old but very few grows up. Most of our politicians refuse to grow up. They want to be forever young even in their 80’s. What nonsense!
Logically, we want a young intelligent selfless leader, born and bred in the streets of Malawi, who understands the best approach and methods for running Malawi in the best possible way. We want a Malawian Malawian to lead Malawians to a better Malawi, a Malawi conducive and favourable for everyone not just the few.
Where do Malawi get these nutty professors? Is there’s many a slip between cup and lip?
Lord have mercy on us.
Once upon a time, the University of Malawi’s College of Medicine had a Professor of Experimental Pathology and his name was John Chisi. Unfortunately, the academic institution lost the professor to politics.
His activities and comments in the political hemisphere have reduced this Professor to unquestionable fool. If not a fool per se, then we must fear for his sanity. In his latest sponsored bantering, Professor Chisi says Vice President, Saulos Chilima, is driven by greed if he want to contest against the person who made him Vice President.
He was referring to the nonexistent presidential candidacy of Saulosi Chilima (at least for now) who will contest against Peter Mutharika among other Presidential aspirants come 2019. In the mind of this apparently confused Professor, it is President Mutharika who MADE Chilima Vice President. This is his first display of ignorance.
In truth, Chilima was not made Vice President of this country by President Mutharika. It is the electorate who made Chilima Vice President at the ballot. What Mutharika did was to choose him as his running mate. Nothing more. They could have lost. It was a gamble and risk Chilima took.
Chilima earned his position as a vice president. He owes it to the people of Malawi and not Peter Mutharika. Get this correctly into your professorial thick score, Mr John Chisi. I beg!
We can as well argue that without the Chilima combination, Peter Mutharika would, perhaps, have lost the presidency. The choice of his running-mate helped him become President and this is no brainer. Who would have voted the brother’s brother, Peter Mutharika (who, at that time, couldn’t even win as a ward councillor?)
In his meditation, Professor Chisi convinced himself that his future and meaningful contribution to this country is in politics. He formed his own tiny political party and named it Umodzi Party which entered the 2014 presidential race and managed to get 12, 048 votes throughout the country.
Was Professor Thandika Mkandawire had professor Chisi in mind when he said politics turn intellectuals into idiots?
The man of letters, Chisi, might be an intellectual and a great son of the soil as a medic but he is not a leader. He cannot even be fit to be a chief because he talks rubbish all the time and good leaders do not run their moths unnecessarily neither do they suffer from a chronic verbal diahorrea.
Professor’s Chisi’s departure from his profession as a revered medic is costly not only to himself but to the country. We need a lot of professional medics in this country than professional idiots. We have plenty of idiots, already. Chisi’s switch to politics is nothing but a great a great miscalculation of career on his part because Malawians voters are not his patients but citizens of the country. I am no prophet, but I can prophesy that Professor Chisi with his pompocity and pompousness will never be the president of Malawi.
Chisi is self-centredness and glossily selfish. He is all about himself and nobody else.
Actually, his party does not have even a one-roomed office in any part of the country. It simply operates from a briefcase, assuming it has a briefcase at all. To say the truth, it is fair to say that Malawi politics has never been insulted to such gross proportions before the self-ushering of Professor Chisi as a presidential aspirant.
Apart from being self-centred and selfish, Professor Chisi is an educated savage who suffer from selective amnesia. He is a collossal hypocrite.
This is a man, who, after being appointed as board chairperson of Medical Council of Malawi by President Professor Arthur Peter Mutharika in 2017, went wild insulting opposition leaders in demonstration of loyalty to President Mutharika. He labelled the Opposition Leader, Lazarus Chakwera a devil for inciting anti-regime demonstrations.
Professor Chisi accused Kamuzu of being a womanizer and said Malawi is now failing to develop because the first leader was sleeping around with women.
As the adage goes, an ape is an ape, a varlet’s a varlet, though they be clad in silk or scarlet or scarlet and it is not surprising that Professor John Chisi went to town attacking the country’s Republican Vice President Saulos Klaus Chilima accusing him of being ungrateful to Peter Mutharika saying he should not stand against his boss because he (Mutharika) made Chilima vice president of the Republic of Malawi. Like seriously?
By the way, when and where did Saulos Chilima said he would contest as a presidential candidate against Peter Mutharika in 2019? All the same, where and when did Peter Mutharika elected to be DPP’s presidential candidate? So where does Professor Chisi get the idea that Peter Mutharika is DPP’s automatic presidential candidate?
Now I believe in the metropolitan popular modern Malawian proverb that “Sukulu imangothandiza kuchotsa umbuli osati uchitsilu.”
Where do get these nutty and unintelligible professors come from? For the Why is God doin this to us? (sic)
Professor Chisi, if at all what he is saying is logical to him, why does he want to stand against the man who made him a board chairperson of a parastatal where he got himself plenty of perdiems?
What a hypocrite!
And this is Professor Chisi whose political party Umodzi Party – which is set to contest for State Presidency – has the following structure of NEC:
President : Professor John Chisi
Vice President : Professor John Chisi
Secretary General : Professor John Chisi
Treasurer General : Professor John Chisi
Campaign Director : Professor John Chisi
Director of Women Affairs : Professor John Chisi
Regional Governor (Centre) : Professor John Chisi
Regional Governor (South) : Professor John Chisi
Regional Governor (North) : Professor John Chisi
Director of Research : Professor John Chisi
Publicity Secretary : Professor John Chisi
In my candid lateral thinking, I think not Malawi needs people like John Chisi who is always talking bad about others and does not talk anything good about anyone. What kind of a leader is this that he is everything in the party which he thinks and hopes that it will one day rule the country?
Professor Chisi must be taught that it is better to light one candle than to curse the darkness and that his glow if he can get one can warm our nation.
Malawi is afflicted and infected with useless professors and educated fools. We already have so many professorial problems and we do not need any more of professor-troubles. Please Professor Chisi, give us a break.
Manners maketh a leader, not a running mouth!
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