Worry not, Mr. President: Tenthani’s  Muckracking after Sanjika feast

“In this present crisis, government  is not the solution to our problem, government is the problem”-Ronald Reagan

Last Tuesday it pleased President Peter Mutharika to invite the Muckraker and a horde of his type to wine and dine with him at the hilltop edifice of Sanjika Palace Hastings Kamuzu Banda bequeathed to the nation.

Dance with the President: PS Chimwemwe Banda

Dance with the President: PS Chimwemwe Banda

Of course the original idea behind the event was for the President to interface with the media on issues of concern or interest for both the Executive and the non-existent branch of government that tantalises itself as the Fourth Estate.

But for some reason Master of Ceremonies Timpuza Mwansambo spoilt the event by disregarding the President’s call for whoever had something to say to engage him. Whether Timpunza deliberately curtailed the interface or he genuinely did not hear his boss properly is neither here nor there.

Suffice to say that the President made some interesting remarks. He confessed he loves the Sunday columns. Mmmh! How sweet! But Peter complained that the media always picks on the wrongs of government. “We’re only human,” he admitted. “We get some things wrong but once in a while we get some things right.”

The President pleaded that we must commend him when “once in a while” he gets something right. Let me heed His Excellency’s call and praise him for at least getting one thing right: my colleagues on the Sunday circuit commend you, Sir, for your wonderful choice of weekend reading. You will never go wrong with the Sunday columns, at least the Muckraker assures you so!

Tenthani at Sanjika during meeting with President Mutharika

Tenthani at Sanjika during meeting with President Mutharika

Having done my civic duty of praising my dear president for his clever choice of literature, let me assure him that those of us who nitpick him do so because we love him so much that we want him to always get things right. Those who always clap hands for him even when he is clearly going nuts do not love him.

Mr. President, these people will be the first to desert you when you crash. You do not have to go far to check for evidence. Some people who tantalised your big brother that he was the next best thing to ever happen to Malawi after David Livingstone deserted him before his body could even get cold during those “three mad days in April”.

They were the first to lay sentry for the new messiah in town, Joyce Banda, while you and the remnants of his true loyalists were desperately trying to literally beat life back into Bingu’s lifeless body.

So you see, Sir, those citizens who love you do not waste time praising you when you once in a while get things right because they already handsomely pay you for that.

Mr. President, we – your loyal citizens – have to constantly hold your executive feet to the fire so that you do not sleep on the job. Look, Sir, as president you are our driver; if we let you sleep on the wheel you will take us off the precipice.

That is why, Sir, while your government is making feeble steps to tackle ‘cashgate’, we demand that you tackle this worst financial scandal to ever happen to this Great Republic in its 50 years of history holistically. By this we mean go for the root of it, rewind back to its genesis in 2005.

Ask Saulos, where he comes from they say, “Kupha nyani sayang’ana nkhope”, meaning if you really want to solve a problem do not stop to check who or what will be the collateral damage. Ask surgeons, if they want to remove a growth in your rectal system, they cut you up to get to it, if you get my drift.

I know an audit dating that far, whose working figure is a whopping K92 billion, may reach closer home. The CEO of Malawi Inc. then was no other than your own brother and some of his senior officials are currently serving you.

So a thorough audit may finger the Big Kahuna personally and some of his lieutenants might not escape the dragnet.

But if you genuinely want to get to the bottom of ‘cashgate’ thereby unlocking the much-needed donor dollars, allow for a holistic audit from 2005 and look the other way even if a familiar face – even the one that resembles your own – pops up on the screen.

Maybe the village of advisors you have surrounded yourself with are being parsimonious with the truth. But because the Muckraker loves you lots, he will tell you. The donors are playing hardball with your government not because they do not like the colour of your spectacles, no. They have put you on the ‘wait and see’ mode because you have surrounded yourself with the same characters that watched, wringing hands helplessly in resignation, as the Big Kahuna took us off the cliff.

Unfortunately, that crowd – if truth be told – include your good self!

So you have a lot of proving to do.

Meanwhile, time is not standing still for you. Look now, you are failing to pay Judiciary staff thereby stalling the very ‘cashgate’ cases whose progress may inform donors you are serious about tackling financial malaise in government.

Your government is even failing to pay the ‘peanuts’ you mock teachers with as salaries. Did Nicholas Dausi not tell you that soon after you left Sanjika Palace the other day little kids, some as young as six, blocked the road to your palace with boulders and rocks to show their anger for this intransigence?

These kids do not care who is in State House; all they care for is someone to teach them 1+1 so that they, too – as one of them told me, “should also be able to be future leaders.”

So you see, Sir, why those of us who want you not to fail will not waste time praising you for doing what we pay you to do. We will always hold you in check when we notice you have missed a step so that you should not tumble down like your brother did.

That is Patriotism 101, if you ask me, Mr. President.

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70 thoughts on “Worry not, Mr. President: Tenthani’s  Muckracking after Sanjika feast”

  1. OBAMA says:

    Ralph did you also get you 50pin? am waiting this to appear in your column. If not then eeeeiiish! Ndalama ndi chida champhamvu! Zoona a Tenthani inuyo kugulidwa ndi K50,000.00 zoona. Write how it was distributed but to me this is bribing at its best.

  2. Ralph, did you yourself indeed pocket the bribe he was dishing out to journos?

  3. Mala says:

    Mr Tenthani osanena kuti munalandila 50pin. No wonder mumaluma mkuwuzila kwinaku mukutafuna sikono. Ndalama ndithu is the route of all evil. No intergrity at all. Look at Mr Kapito now he is sitting phwiii chewing Chisikono cha mastoko majalini.

  4. Mojamoja says:

    Mr Tenthani, In hear of a fat envelope you also received. Please tell us more about it???????

  5. Mabasa says:

    You did not mention the brown/(blue) envelopes you received and what their contents were.We are reading somewhere that they contained k50 000.00.What was it for?For attending the feast?Lucky you guys Raphael and company.

  6. CHITIPA BOYS says:

    Yu are the real deal Ralph!!!!

  7. so what about we the mare citizen do we not deserve the dine together with mr president?

  8. Akwe says:



  10. Malambwe says:

    Tenthani is an accoplishd writer , your article makes my day

  11. Pastor says:

    A President, Chimwemwe Banda would make a more dignified First Lady than Gertrude. First lady adzikhaka D7 Osati D2. Bra size idzikhalanso D osati A. Apa simukuonapo? CCAP has divorce certificates in their offices unlike Catholics. Go and ask for one.

  12. Truth Pains says:

    Mr. Tenthani, first, do not mind comments on dressing, inu si a cashgate. But would you and the Nyasatimes crew consider updating us on the German funded audit. It has been long when we got the info and no update todate. We need that audit and afterwards, it will be Geology on all politicians concerned. We will not spare a single. Among the first actions will be closing the airports. All our mult-party era presidents are part of this cashgate, no doubt about it, even APM or JB know about it. APM knows arresting JB will mean he will be revealed as well. JB has evidence of DPP cashgate, ndichifukwa chake akulimba mtima nanga si anamphunzitsa ndi omwewo.

  13. abinte says:

    kasaila keep it up nana.we r proud u son.ur comments on national issues r good and brings unity among malawians.the chief for lowershire.KASAILA TIMAKUDALIRANI IFE KU LOWERSHIRE.

  14. Mau Apaseli says:

    Jeepers Creepers!

  15. clement says:

    Iwe Tenthani uli maso gweee utavala jejeti kkkkk koma iweee unakulira m’mavuto zedi.Moti dressing sukuyidziwabe kukula konseko? Good Madam Chimwemwe for your smile to the President kkkk am jealousy .Well, Mr Tenthani that’s good advise but sometimes you also talk nonsense.Try to bring constructive articles like this one but if you keep on castigating the DPP mmmm you will end up failure because everyone knows why Malawians are suffering.lts Joyce with her barbaric regime +cashgate eeeish

  16. Zilipo chaka chake ndichino. Mr APM these are not th years of easy money harvesting. Pliz wake up from snoring. ‘Check this outu’

  17. Bantu says:

    With Peter at the helm, the judiciary strike and other labour actions will take as long as forever to resolve! Brace up Malawians!

  18. Chabazo says:

    Ralph: You have always been my best. But this time, I think you have been beaten to it by Gracian Tukula. Why didn’t you write about the blue envelopes that you and your colleagues/journalists received at Sanjika? Did you pocket it as well? What a shame. For Gracian, please return the K50,000. Its origins you do not know. Its purpose was not explained. To whom would you account for it? Whats the difference with Muluzi’s brown enveloped you heavily criticized?? Return the money Gracian and Ralph. Otherwise how different are you from Lutepo: “I just received the money I did not know where it came from’??. You want the Table Mountain Declaration signed and yet you fail to live by the most cardinal principles of the Declaration: upholding ethics! what a shame!!!

  19. Gabriel Phiri says:

    Yes indeed there was the so called cashgate during Bingu but that should not stop the progress of the current saga because whether we like it or not the pinch we are feeling now is because of the JB Cash gate ndiye si bwino kuti tiyambenso kufukula maliro amoyowa tisanathane nawo. Kuba mkugwidwatu paja ndiye kuti wina aziti ayi tibwerere m’mbuyo kaye tingotaya nthawi. Tithane ndi omwe agwidwa kalewa coz kuti tiyambe za kalekalezo ayi ndinawonera za Bakili nkhani ya ku Mwanza.

  20. ndizoveka kwa munthu wanzeru

  21. Missed -Call says:

    Well written and articulated, but I wonder why some people are failing to see the point in this article.

    It seems, some people have been bewitched to a point of clapping hands to the wizard himself! (akuwomberabe mfiti mmanja!)

    Well done Tenthani.

  22. victim Chamkhuni Lwazazi says:

    What kind of advice would the biggie get from the like of the quota system tribalistic head of Foreign Affairs. It is a rotting huge sucking lot of advisers, through and through.
    They will sink this boat we are all sailing in.

  23. Mulimbalimba says:

    Excellent Tenthani .This is good advice .

  24. Agulupu says:

    A speech full of wisdom, Ralph, keep it up. I just hope your advice shall be put to good use. Govt is surely not the solution, but rather a big problem to our beloved poor country.

  25. Mupalesitina says:

    Koma Raphael, you ca write man.

  26. aKilly 2 says:

    President wosamva ma advice anzake will perish the way Moya did, `alikuti lero mudzifunsee-eeee!’

  27. bokosi says:

    you journalists were advising a sick and,mad person who does not listen.people will think you are mad and fools too.I love my country but cant say aid shld resume with the likes of chaponda,kaliati,msaka mtengo waminga,mhura in gvt who are the cream of malawi thieves.

  28. Fyumani says:

    I like this article

  29. MBWIYACHE says:

    Tenthani, head like stone

  30. Bullshit says:

    Tenthani watenthadi pamenepa. You the man of the moment

  31. Stewy says:

    Good article . But is this how u dressed at BBC?

  32. BigMan says:

    Here goes another journalistic clown barking, barking, barking and barking some more…..for nothing!! Busy trying to misinform people on cashgate and throwing figures around that have little fact tied to them. I could hear what you’ve written in any pub along bwandilo, you should provide real analysis and information, not crap.

  33. well-writtent but sadly will not be responded to as expected!!! Fisi ndi fisi ngakhale asinthe thengo!!! peter goofed in his ministerial position during his brother’s reign,, hw can he handle these troublesome calamities malawians are going through??? He failed to sort out simple and straight forward case of academic freedom; during his tenure as minitry of international relations,,, UK ambassador was booted out of malawi,,. donors fled with their bags of dollars leaving malawians helpless

  34. My dear frend U r genius, I like the way U put your advice, big up Tenthani, we dont like politics of clapping hands while at private rooms U r mafias. Sithawi yogwada za boza, open your eyes Mr President, we all love U

  35. drf says:

    Hand in hand..smile to smile..Good one APM!

  36. kukhala says:


  37. kukhala says:


  38. Wax says:

    Good advice and straight forward without beating about the bush. Koma ka shirt kameneko dala!!

  39. Plebian says:

    What I usually do is to read your articles. God bless you & if I find your number will call you to tell that you do a good job. But please if read comments i want you to advocate that we remove the foolish law that gives President Immunity as it one of the recipe of Presidents being Corrupt since they know one can tough them as they steal. We need to bring them to book when they commit thiefty. Believe me that will curb cashgate by 90%. Why provide immunity to thieves? Jesus did not have immunity, why these sinners? Good article. Wakumva wamva.

  40. Chengolopiyo says:

    All you need to do, Raph, is to shout louder; next time it will be a cabinet post or, if you know how to dream small, an ‘advisor’ position created out of the rude blue. If I were you, I would not even bother to attend the event which was CLEARLY meant to buy you self-acclaimed muckrackers! I guess the wager was too little for your thirsty self! Ife timamwa kachasu chifukwa ndiwotchipha!

  41. ABzione says:

    It buffles me, does the mansion in Thyolo not bother anyone to demand to know the origin of the funds? Not to mention all other ways (Feasts- just saying) these people have denied an average Malawian of his/her right to education, healthy benefits…….. and damn right ‘life’!?

  42. Tengupenya says:

    if the intended or purported did not get to be done, then it can be said that this event was for some measure of damage control or cultivation of some sympathetic co-existence. the free press should not worry anyone too much for it kind of regulates itself by the products it churns out. it cannot afford to get overboard too much for too long. the best damage control is to lay bear the policies being pursued. parties get voted into administration of government when the majority of the voters choose the party’s manifesto and policies in competition with other parties. having won, the job is to implement what the majority had preferred with some adjustments along the way according to the role play of checks and balances which ironically includes checks by the noisy and unfriendly press at times. the best weapon is information and education to and of the voting public and the sought after donors! the next best is strategy that uses feedback. no action to the root of the cashgate means a long haul for any change of heart from the voting public as well as the donors. It will take decades to successfully wrestle the roots of the cashgate if we go at the pace being displayed on the political arena. it is as if natural expiry of some of the suspects that would be netted by forensic audit of public finance systems and the cleaning up of the governance of the banking industry in Malawi is being factored into the pace of the investigations and the prosecutions.

  43. mona says:

    Apm ndi munthu oipa ndi kale ndiye so kupangidwa surrounded by chapondas, kaliati the rapist, henry mussa thecashgater, kachikhos, Mulli the killer, khumbo wachimimba kachali and mansangwi the big killing and burning planner.. this makes apm even more arrogant

  44. mona says:

    Good advice Mr tenthani but our president ndi owuma mtima ngati pharaoh adzafa imfa yowawa munthu ameneu

  45. snaiper says:

    #5 mr wisi boy, partriotic 101 is there see properly and to me he dressed nice. Wht do u expect from our big boy.dressing as other were no my friend be uniquie in where be yourself.

  46. hfty says:

    Peter is better off tossing Ralphs advice aside. Jb ankamvera achina Ralph ndi Brian Banda lero ali kuti Joyce-yo. Mtolankhani simunthu, chimene adziwa iye ndi sensationalism and not going to root of matters. Peter don’t waste ur time with Ralph unless you want to end the Joyce way. And by the way Ralph we say “suffice it to say”

  47. How old is this president? Was he really born in 1940 or somewhere between 1935 and 1937? Some from a little known Malawi went abroad and got his first degree in 1965 and that means he was 25. During Kamuzu time most people got their first degrees between. 25 and 28. What about somebody in the 60s and a foreigner. Finishing form and waiting for funding and clearances could delay one by a minimum of three years and that plus finding a place at college add up to a delay of four years. Therefore, Peter cheats on age. The man was born in 1936. He is at least 78 years old. Does he have a brother or sister left now? No. This is a great grand father and no wonder he is slow and is becoming incarcitated. The strike by the judiciary will take ages and those waiting for justice should wait longer or we simply take the law in our hands. Dealing straight away with criminals.

  48. Gunz says:

    It is by grace of God that this country runs even in crisis as it has been for a long time. May the grace never depart from us…

  49. Wakumva wamva. Ukakhala ugonthi umachita kubadwa nawo

  50. chivwamba says:

    Keep it up. We definitely need the audit. The president should not ignore the afvice on the audit we need from 2005!!!!!
    Ignore this we might have serious problems on Cashgate scandal

  51. Sidix says:

    In interface people are ask questions which are responded live. I didn’t notice the questioning by the journalists. Was that the way to go?

  52. Write with respect says:

    You do need to demean people to drive home your message. Write with some respect, that is what all good and respectable authors do

  53. Koma Mmene Munavalira Muja Mwati Chinalichani ambuye do u even have a closet if yes what do u have in there clothes or rugs

  54. SMM II says:

    Peter cant listen bro #1. He is on a mission to finish the job his brother left of stealing
    the money thats why MK92 billion is not an issue to him at all.

  55. Kd says:

    I can for see another Cardiac arrest

  56. Sidix says:

    Good advice but to one who does not listen to others.Remember during academic freedom sit in.It took 9 months before the whole of a proffessor APM could come up with a solution till he was removed from the Minstry of Education.The strike by the Judiciary will take ages for the Proffessor to stop it.In Dec Civil Servants will have 2wks mandatory holiday including the Judiciary. The Courts might be open in mid January.

  57. Njolopingo says:

    Timpuza Mwansambo indeed spoilt the event by not allowing reporters ask questions. But the way he acted did show that it was a well planned deliberate move meant to protect Mr president from hungry lions. I for one as a listener was disappointed with the move. I din’t know that Mr Mackracker noticed this, I thought you were also taken away with the bans that were forced into journalists mouth. thumb up for telling the truth.

  58. Dick says:


  59. Dusty says:

    Well writen but anthu ena ndi youma mitu they can’t get anything from this.There is a lot of sense mr muckracker but the calibler of the people you are advising ndi anthu a mitima ndi mitu youma.A satana.

    1. Tenthani anavala choncho kusanjikako

  60. Ngakha says:

    A Tenthani mukadayika picture ya mmene mudavalira ku Sanjika anthu akudziweni. Anyway a president awa just to invite people who dressed the way you did; ndimunthu wabwino koopsa. Enafe tidakakubweza usati kudana naye koma indecent dressing.

    1. zowona says:

      how can tenthani dress heavly when the poor he is speaking for are walking naked? look at him he posses the great spirit of ghandi and mandela!

  61. [email protected] says:

    the muckrucker now, i didn’t notice you khu phwando kuja!

    1. Moya says:

      This professor is not damn to shoot himself on the foot he knows he was part of the 92 billion scam so he will only focus on the 20 billion a nation let’s ask ourself that since he can’t go to 2005 Audit and donors want that done are we going to live without Aid or how do we make sure Audit takes place to save many lives of Malawians?

  62. MMalawi says:

    While I had my doubts I thought the good professor will do things the professor way but look the guy surrounds himself with same crooks and holily trusts the likes of Kaliati, oohh my foot after spending all these years in America!

  63. John says:

    He will read the article. But as always, he will just toss the advice aside. Thats how arrogant the dude is. The guy appoints people to positions without even asking if they are available for chrissake, thats how much a messiah he thinks he is. Except now, all wheels are coming off and he has no idea what to do.

  64. Kenkkk says:

    Excellent. If peter can’t listen and follow this advice, then God help him and us!!!

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