Dzuka Malawi: Wishing the President dead

The type of creativity Malawians show when it comes to useless things is incredible. The way we hype rumours, add some salt and juice and then add our creative talents is simply amazing. It would make Donald Trump look like an angel.

For some reason, I was out of town for the first two days of “the president has died rumour” and as such I as a victim of 2,164 “rumour has it” whastapp, facebook and Instagram and normal sms all trying to verify if the President had died.

When I switched on my phone, I even thought I had been appointed a Minister or my private parts were being shared online as the other day some evil mind had downloaded someone who looked like Deputy Minister of Defence Vincent Ghambi and claimed he was the one.

So within a week of trying to get Ghambi from his Cabinet position with full vigour and sharing of pornography, when his wife clearly saw the equipment was not his and therefore the story was fake, we went for the President.

I will not waste time blaming the Presidents contingent of communications team comprised of Mgeme Kalirani, Dr. Bright-not-so-Bright Molande, Justice Mponda, Slyvester Namiwa, Gloria Masanza, Chikondi Juma and another two in IT, then another battalion marshalled by Malisen Ndau and PS Justin Saidi and add MBC plus party cadets. If you add Vice Presidents star Zodiak interviewer Pilirani Phiri whose boss is now Acting President you are looking at close to 200 people employed by the President and his administration to deal with communications but failing to communicate.

Any who said it is easy to communicate. When you intend to lie, make sure you are very good at lying- its easy for public lies to catch up. Lesson for the communications teams.

Now back to our wishing the President to die. The wish came from professed Christians and Muslim, and the Public Affairs Committee instead of just calling the Presidents advisor whom they have contacs with, they decided to play in the media. Some cheap shots.

What captured my mind was the imagination and creation of the lies. Very perfect, they had the name of the alleged hospital in New York, when the President was in Washington, they even included the number of alleged doctors attending to the President. Then they produced cartoons and other caricatures depicting what was going on. Then spent time and airtime which is bought with cash to spread the rumour.

Phew! Imagine if we were all excited and worked up to find solutions to electricity as we are peddling rumours and gossip, we should have electricity mbwe mbwe mbwe.

Imagine if we could create a naked Deputy Minister, fly him into New York when he was in Malawi, then apply such innovation to create means of addressing perennial food shortages by creatively finding means of transporting water from rivers to farms- we should have gotten billions from exports especially this year.

Imagine if every Malawian was keen to share and work on an idea, create some message of positivity from health to encouraging communities do more to support girl education, end early marriages or even stop sex and crime, Malawi should have been the really great warm heart of Africa.

But we are miserable lot. All of us, that we are good at wishing each other dead, sick or fermenting trouble for others. We shout when Vice President is quite and we try to fault find him politically when he speaks.

We are happy to create uncertainty about our own country, first to insult our country and despite giving us a peaceful chance and opportunities that have seen us grow, we still feel obliged to insult Malawi, to propagate hate and indeed for many to simply steal and rip it off.

Gone are the days of Malawians who thought of how to progress through hard work. No wonder today everyone wants to join politics and get rich. When we go into Government we get so selfish and loot all public resources that the thin cow becomes pure bones.

Why have suddenly Malawians become so heartless so as to wish each other dead. Yet day in and day out you profess to be a God fearing nation.

I wont back the idea that Government silence contributed to rumour mongering, no that’s very weak excuse, gossip and rumour mongering are our national identity. We spend millions of productive hours on whatsapp, facebook and even telephone calls to gossip and share useless things.

It is sad even Zimbabwe is beating us in terms of per capita income, even Swaziland. We are the poorest peaceful country in the world, yet nobody seems to be affected. We still cant find solutions to basic challenges including food despite abundant natural waters, electricity despite heat and heated areas along the Lake shore and Lower shire. We are hopeless.

Just join whatsapp or facebook group, lazy minds gossiping the whole day, crying about problems and very few solutions posted. You even wonder if some work at all, the post 24 hours as if they are in developing country where WiFi is free.

Dzukani  a Malawi. Use the internet to acquire knowledge and creativity to boost you well being. Spending millions of hours on social media groups does not improve your life outlook, it only increases your bitterness, that you become the champion of rumour mongering, gossip and indeed wishing the President dead. The bitterness in you will kill you, start looking for personal growth.

After all, we will all die, doesn’t matter who goes first, what matters is you on earth having created your own quality of life. I wish we were more creative in making Malawi a better place!

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