Malawi diplomat in Washington DC, Edward Sawelengela and his wife Margaret Asalele Mbilizi have launched a sensational e-mail spat, each accusing the other of not caring, and they are on the bring of break-up, Nyasa Times understands from the leaked letters.
In the correspondence now in public domain, Mbilizi accuses her husband for takking her “love and care for granted” and among other things and in turn Sawelengera writes that ‘Asalele’ Mbilizi is “distressed with fear and worry” to the extent that sometimes her actions turn violent.
Mbilizi pointed out in her reply that she gave up her life for Sawelengera he abused it.
“You treated me like a second class citizen. You did not care about my son. I had to seek medical help for him without your help. You did not put him on your health insurance. When he got better you have not done anything to get him on his feet. He lives in the bedroom like a prisoner with no new clothes or hope for a future,” reads part of her letter.
“For six months you did not have a conjugal relationship with me because you say I was talking bad about you. You told people and the President [Peter Mutharika] that you were going to divorce me. You got so close to [Violet] Skeva (works at the E,bassy) and confided in her,” she writes.
She also accused Sawerengela of arranging that she returns to Malawi on a one way ticket and that he has never given her money willingly and not built a house for the wife at her home in Michiru “as dictated by the matrilenal tradition.”
Mbilizi accuses her husband of letting power get to his head.
“ You forgot where you came from. You forgot that I was the one that gave you a second chance at life. By your own admission I am the one who pumped life into you by taking you along on the campaign trail. When the campaign was over you never fought for me to get a job as a reward for my sweat. Instead you and your friends selfishly arranged for a job for yourself. Ironically you accepted the job I was aspiring to without any regard for my feelings. I was hurt [that] you took a job as Ambassador when you knew fully that this was the job I wanted so badly and dreamed of all my life. It did not matter to you that I had lost my job, my life savings, my property to campaign for a party [DPP] that won the election. What mattered was [that] you should get a job and your life should move on not mine,” Mbilizi writes.
Mbilizi said she recalls Sawerengela talking with his Cabinet Minister friends while they were in New York telling him that they had convinced the President to make him Ambassador.
“Why didn’t you tell them then thatt you could not take that job because of the respect you had for me? You proved to me that you are a selfish person. You are not capable of laying down your life for another. It was better for us to have stayed and suffered in poverty together than for you to disgrace me by accepting to fill my shoes. I did not get the Ambassadorship because I did not want to sleep with anyone for a job. But what you did to me is even worse. Instead of sacrificing your own happiness for me, you accepted the position and relegated me to a house wife,” she wrote.
Mbilizi writes that when the couple entered diplomatic life, Sawerengela regretted having married her because he wanted to share his glory with the children not the wife.
“Recently you arranged for your daughter to bring your grandchild so that I should be taking care of her. This action underscores your belief that I am your slave. How can you expect me to take care of your grand children when you are not giving me anything let alone sending my son to college.
“So my husband do not label me as a slanderer. Everything I say to other people about you is from my experience with you. I thrive on the truth because it sets me free,” reads the letter.
Mbilizi advises Sawerengela to “ look in the mirror and acknowledge your misgivings. Unless you acknowledge and correct the mistakes you have made with our marriage there can be no forgiveness.”
She concluded: “I have decided to take my life back because you abused it. I will empower myself without your help because you failed to do that. You never wanted me to work or touch money. I am now walking in uncharted territory but I know I will be okay. I am a strong black woman and when I am brocken, I dust off and keep my head high.”
In his letter, Sawelengera states thta the two years and nine months they have been together, Mbilizi has displayed “a fluctuating temperament, oscillating back and forth.”
He writes: “ I decided to remarry after my first wife passed away and you are the one I chose to get married. You won over my heart as a mature, kind hearted, loving and caring woman. I was in love again and you, Margaret, fitted in very well as the surrogate mother to my children.”
Sawelengera said he may not be a perfect person, but he is not the monster.
“ I am a good man, loving and compassion. Somebody said fear stands for false evidence appearing real,” said the husband.
Sawelengera accuses Mbilizi of “character assassination”, urged her to desist from “the habit of bearing a false witness against innocent lives. This is the commandment from God. “
Reads the letter: “I urge you to put away all malice and all deceit and hypocrisy and envy and all slander. Darling, desire for the pure spiritual milk, that by it you may grow up into salvation, if indeed you have tasted that the Lord is good.
“I feel so sad, pained and heartbroken to see that a person of your status and stature, the one I have loved, go about spreading false report about me just because of petty differences with a motive of destroying my character and reputation. That is being evil. I plead with you not to join hands with wicked men to be a false and malicious witness. My dear my advice is you shouldn’t go around as a slanderer among those you claim to love, and you shouldn’t stand up against the life of someone who has not wronged you. Why doing this to me darling? To the extent of giving false stories to Nyasa Times to scandalize my name? I thank God, Nyasa Times’ official called today to ask me to give my side of the story.”
Sawelengera stated that if the relationship has failed to work, they should agree to separate” amicably with dignity “and continue to remain good loving friends.
“Let us avoid creating false stories about each other because that is wickedness. My bible tells me that, the wicked will not go unpunished. The bible further says that reckless people are people who act rashly, they are quick tempered, they pursue evil, they scoff at rebuke, they reject Christ as their Savior, and they deny God even with the clear evidences in the world; their days are numbered,” reads his letter.
Sawerenga advised Mbilizi not to be associated with “reckless people.”
A top government official has said the exchange of the letters is regrattable.Follow and Subscribe Nyasa TV :