PP’s messy mess and all that glitters

From inception, chances that People’s Party (PP) would stand the test of time looked slim. Founded by the de facto alternative during Democratic Progressive Party (DPP)’s 2009 to 2012 reign of bad laws and terror, PP quickly attracted motley opportunists.

Sadly, rather than benefit from the demise of former President Bingu wa Mutharika, PP turned out to be the biggest loser.

You may recall that even before late Bingu had been interred, so called DPP ‘heavy weights’ who had been calling Mrs Joyce Banda all sorts of unflattering names to look good to Bingu, migrated en masse to PP.

When cashgate erupted and with it the likelihood of a PP’s loss, one by one, the opportunists started dumping PP.
By the time PP finally lost the election, it was no longer migration; more like an exodus.

Some claimed to have ‘retired’. Others went into hibernation, lying in wait like black mambas for the appropriate time and prey to strike, stun and destroy.

It is worth noting that even amidst the PP exodus, some politicians remained put. The likes of now expelled former acting president Uladi Mussa and Ralph Jooma (removed as party vice president for Eastern Region), dug in; creating an impression that unlike the defectors; they were a principled lot who believe that in a democracy, a good politician can be just as effective in opposition as in government.

Well, this was true until the Electoral Reform bills.

It was when the reforms were about to land in parliament that it became obvious that when a hyena crosses the road to hunt in the adjacent forest, it still remains a hyena. Typically, they didn’t need much coaxing to betray the nation.

The rest, as they say, is now history.

In this duo’s shoes, especially now that it has been confirmed that PP was never in formal cahoots with DPP, I would be very ashamed of myself.

Look here Blues’ Orators: what further evidence do we need to make a case that these turncoats are guilty of sabotaging the much needed reform for personal gain? And if this is not betrayal and abuse of office, what is? And again, isn’t abuse of office the classical definition of corruption?

If I were in PP, I wouldn’t even bother dignifying the nonsense they are churning as the reasons for their expulsion with a response.

With respect to their prospects in DPP, the dilemma facing these two jumos is one of the rare instances when I celebrate DPP’s existence.

You see, according to the DPP modus operandi, these two guys are lepers.

In the first place, they were DPP. When it suited them, they left to chase self-gratification in Joyce Banda’s bosom.

As fate would have it, when Joyce Banda lost the 2014 election, DPP quickly slammed the doors shut for gold diggers.
This is how the people whose true colours are blossoming now got stuck in PP until the Electoral Reforms surfaced and just like an old woman is troubled when dry bones are mentioned in a proverb, Mutharika panicked.

Talk of the reform left Mutharika in a quandary.

On the one hand was the temptation to remain principled and continue shunning political prostitutes. But this carried the risk that the Electoral Reform Bills would be passed.

On the other hand, was the disgusting notion of having to intercourse with political trollops known to have serviced everyone in town.

Caught between a rock and a hard place, Mutharika decided to follow the DPP book of rules where the mantra is: consort – if you must – with harlots, but ‘advisedly’.

Blues’ Orators, if there is anything we can learn from DPP is how to sup with the devil but come out unscathed. How does DPP achieve this feat?

When it has had its way with harlots – using reels of protection, it doesn’t only dispose of the now compromised protective sheaths, but it also dumps the harlots.

In Mussa and Jooma’s case, now that DPP got what it wanted, they are just as expendable as used condoms.

The future looks far from bright for both Mussa and Jooma because in the DPP book of rules, they are now disposable.
To understand DPP’s philosophy, get into DPP’s mind i.e.:

“Mussa and Jooma were once blue. They left and having reached a déjà vu; they are just too keen to work as our mercenaries. The questions are: do we need them? If we let them re-join DPP, what would stop them from double-crossing us again? How would people who have been with us through thick and thin feel if these migrant mercenaries are given senior positions?”

This is what is playing in DPP’s mind.

Is there anything that MCP can learn from all this? Stand by.

Mussa and Jooma are now heading to the back pages of history. As to their respective expulsion and demotion in PP, the issue here is less about Joyce Banda’s dynastic ambitions. If truth be told, I find Mussa’s and Jooma’s respective reactions to the expected fallout totally ridiculous!

PP is right that the two have tarnished the party’s name and image by lying that PP, as a party, is against Electoral Reforms.

While Jooma and Mussa are pondering their next political home, it’s high time MCP did some soul-searching on the many prostitutes flocking to its fold.

MCP should pause and ponder lest it find itself collecting sand thinking it’s gold, only to see the sand wash away when elections come and go with no trophy to show.

“All that glisters is not gold;
Often have you heard that told:
Many a man his life has sold,
But my outside to behold:
Gilded tombs do worms enfold
Had you been as wise as bold,
Your in limbs, in judgment old,
Your answer had not been in’scroll’d
Fare you well: your suit is cold.’
Cold, indeed, and labour lost: Then, farewell, heat and welcome, frost

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