Please accept without obligation, express or implied, my best wishes for:
· An environmentally safe, socially responsible, low stress, non-addictive, and gender neutral celebration of the summer solstice (for readers ordinarily resident in the southern hemisphere of the planet earth) and the winter solstice (for readers ordinarily resident in the northern hemisphere of the planet earth) holiday season as practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice (but with respect for the religious or secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or for their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all);
· A fiscally successful, personally fulfilling, and medically uncomplicated onset of the generally accepted calendar year (including, but not limited to, the Christian calendar, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures and religious persuasions);
And more importantly;
· An event-free on-set and passing of the forthcoming traditionally taxing months of “General” January and February. May these two mischievous months bring you little or no harassment from creditors, landlords, pastors, loan sharks and “mbava zowopseza ndi ntchafu” due to delayed or even default on payment of loans, rent, tithes, katapila and fees for services rendered – one way or another.
Under the prevailing fragile economic circumstances, I could and rightly so, be found liable for contempt if I did not wish you and your loved ones, fruitful idle time for you personally and your pieces of iron-mongery, as you, with or without zigubu, patiently search – in vain – for the rare fluids, that propel vehicles, generators and other such motor equipment whose availability 24/7, 365 days a year, was previously taken for granted.
The preceding wishes are being extended free of malice, without regard to the nationality, race, creed, colour, age, physical ability, religious faith or lack thereof, choice of computer platform, political affiliation, sexual preference or orientation of all the wishee(s).
Trouble from creditors? Here is my Xmas gift, a free tip!
Earlier this year, to be precise at the peak of “General” January, my good friend Thoko borrowed a substantial sum of money from Chiko, another buddy of mine. Thoko’s kids had been sent back from school for non-payment of school fees; his mother’s crop in the field was wilting for lack of fertilizer; and more importantly, his second wife wanted a new Blackberry; hence his appeal for a “small” loan to smooth things over.
Chiko, though not necessarily approving of Thoko’s misplaced sense of priorities, bailed him out. As we speak, Thoko has not repaid the money. Over the weekend, we all happened to meet at another friend’s house and I could not help but overhear their strained conversation which went like this:
Chiko: “Thoko, why can’t you borrow a leaf from the Chinese? Do you know that the Chinese make it an invariable rule to settle all their debts on or before New Year’s Day?”
To this Thoko coolly replied: “Oh yes, so I am made to understand. But then again, the Chinese don’t have a Christmas the week before!”
Merry Xmas and a Happy New Year!
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